How do I approach dh about having a doula?

[WriggleJiggle]

I've been thinking about having a doula for a while. dd's birth was a little traumatic, and I am desperate to have a better experience this time around.

I'm not sure how to approach dh about it though. He was wonderful last time, and I'm a little worried that it I don't explain it in the right way he may feel put out or unwanted or probably that he wasn't good enough last time, which really isn't at all true.

How has anyone else approached the subject?

Explain to Dh that you AND he need the support of a Doula as this is an emotional process that you are BOTH involved in. He is not trained to deal with childbirth or supporting you and having a Doula with you will enable him to support you fully as she will provide guidance, encouragement and quiet confidence. She is not there to take his place but to support the pair of you, she is non medical and you will both meet her and get to know her before the birth, therefore you will have a familiar, warm face with you when dealing with all the clinical personal that you may have never met before.

You can call her out long before you go to hospital or call mw for HB so she will be with you and supporting you through the early stages, when sometimes is can seem a little confusing eg, is this it?

have a look at a Father's viwew about Doulas

Hi, I had a doula for my 4 vbacs. I couldn't have done it without one. The doula is there to support you both.
Your dh might well welcome the fact that the pressure will be off him to be your sole supporter.
She is not about taking his place, she and your dh have their own unique roles. Why not get someone to come and visit you and then you and your dh can discuiss things with the doula. This does not commit you.
I can't recommend having one strongly enough though.
It will be a better birth experience for you, your baby and your dh

DH refuses to have anymore children unless there is a doula present! I had 4 days of early and first stage labour followed by and emergency CS. He was so exhausted and worried that he really could have done with some support for him. As well as the ability to go and sleep for a hour or so, without feeling guilty that he was leaving me.

i think he should have a look at some doula websites, and read the testimonials....and see that a doula is not a replacement, but a complement to him....will also mean , that there will be someone there , familiar to you both, when you go into labour...which can only be a benefit..
also means if labour is long, or takes a while to get going, he does not need to worry about leaving you on your own to go and get a drink or a snack, or even a sleep....
a doula will want to make this positive for both of you, and will be an addition to him