Looking for some advice and support - Private or NHS?

[MummyXXX]

Hi all,
I need some advice, I'm currently 36 weeks pregnant and feeling lost and emotional about the birth of my second baby. Our first was born just over two years ago whilst we were living abroad, there I was looked after by one consultant from 9 weeks, we saw her every few weeks up until 38 weeks when my son was delivered by C-section at a large 10lb 7oz, other than the size it was a relatively straight forward birth and I recovered well afterwards (a few days before I was fully on my feet and walking around and could go out happily). My husband was with me for the birth and was able to stay with me for three nights in the hospital post birth in a lovely private room.

We returned back to the UK earlier this year when I was post my 12 week scan and since arriving I feel like I don't fit into the UK system, I've been bounced from one midwife to another, my original midwife forgot to submit my documents to the hospital, pushing all my appointments much later than due and even though I'm now under consultant care, I feel very uncomfortable. I've take the ECS route as a nurse in the hospital told me to book a CS whilst I had the opportunity and I could cancel it if I changed my mind. Last week we had our consultant appointment, the gentleman I met made me feel quite uncomfortable, in fact when he first came in the room I didn't realise he was a Dr. he was dressed in trousers that were too short for him and had no bedside manner to him and I'm now seriously considering a last minute swap to private care. I've been doing some research and it seems there are a few options, Portland, Chelsea and Westminster, Lindo Wing and UCLH I feel are all to pricey. I think this leaves me with the Queen Charlotte's and Kings College Hospital. Kings is more of a hybrid, private consultant and private room on the NHS ward, QC which is private consultant on a private maternity ward, in terms of cost QC is around £4k more than Kings but despite the QC option pushing us to our limit I'm just not sure its the right decision to go down the private route. I have no friends that have gone privately and I'm struggling with this, I have no one to talk to. The parents don't get it ("NHS is amazing" and "hundreds of people give birth daily"), my biggest worries are not knowing who will deliver the baby and worried about not having my husband with me overnight whilst I'm there. I'm in tears and feel so lost and feel like I'm being stupid and just whinging. I feel so alone xxx

I totally understand. I lost my first baby at 21 weeks in a NHS hospital and I was very anxious in my 2nd pregnancy as I was high risk and I didn't feel the NHS were taking me seriously. I never saw the same midwife and I had to fight to get regular scans. They were still pushing me to have a natural birth even though I had a cervical stitch and an incompetent cervix, this might have meant I couldn't carry another child again! Luckily I found a sympathetic private consultant who managed to get my medical insurance to cover her and I gave birth at the Portland. It meant so much to me that my husband could stay with me and I just felt I was in safe hands. After losing a baby I also definitely wanted to know who would be delivering my DD plus someone who could manage the stitch etc.
I think have a look round both your options and go with the one that makes you feel most comfortable. Childbirth is a big thing to go through and it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks, just make sure you feel safe. If you trust your local NHS hospital then there is no reason not to go there? Some have private rooms that you can reserve, although I think they are allocated on an "need" basis.
I am pregnant again and even if my insurance doesn't cover me this time, we will still go to the Portland again and pay for it ourselves. In the grand scheme of things, the money is not the important issue.
Best of luck! xx