Hi there, didn't want to highjack the other thread so starting a new one. i hope you don't mind me asking you some prof advice.
basically i have a dd who is 15 months. she was born naturally in birthing centre, the birth tbh was great , i felt in control the whole time, great mw etc i delivered in a semistanding position but she came out in one single push (i couldn't not push when the mw told me not to if that makes sense, the urge was too strong) and i had a bad second degree tear. after the birth they took 5 hours to find someone to stitch me up, by which time i was really agitated having lost a lot of blood etc. tearing and something wrong with my stitches were my greatest fears and both materialised, my scar overgranulated which was very uncomfortable, sex was impossible so i had a repair op done last year. since then things have been really good down there (sex is great for starters) and i thought about it no more/ but then i decided i wanted to ttc again and decided to have a look at my bits... was a bit alarmed as i found myself a lot more "open" than before and my perineum is really, really short now! i have since become completely obsessed with the fear of tearing again in a subsequent birht, and i am terrified that this time i could suffer an even worse tear given short perineum, scar tissue less elastic etc.
so my question is this... what are the chances of tearing again second time around? is it true that most damage is done by the frist birth? or do i risk a third degree tear, or worse? is there anything i can do to lessen this risk? i am becoming really obsessed with this... stupidlly i am drawn to birth trauma websites and i have gotten convinced i am headed for massive problems if i give birth again...
thanks for reading so far and for any thoughts..