4th trimester

[justtheoddquestion]

Hi, I'm two weeks off due date and realise I've been trying to keep well informed about stages of pregnancy and getting ready for the baby ie. buying stuff/changing nappies/reading baby books but I don't really know what to expect in the weeks after baby is born. I know I will bleed for a few weeks, I know my boobs will be sore (and breastfeeding will be a challenge) but what else... I assume you get a guide from the midwives do you as to follow-up appointments/vaccinations for the baby etc? Can you share some info on what the 4th trimester was like for you and any tips... Also, I find the prospect of leaving the house quite daunting (which isn't like me at all, so any tips for that)... Thanks.

1. It’s 100% normal for your baby to hate being put down.
2. Totally normal for baby to want to feed constantly. Their tummies are tiny, and you produce colostrum in small quantities, so baby will want to feed little and often / both of mine were every 45 mins to an hour feeders for the first couple of weeks.
3. It’s normal for babies to sleep for short intervals. Again because they need to feed very often, and frequent waking is a natural preventative against SIDS.
4. If your struggle with breastfeeding, access face to face support locally - google will be your friend to find your local support services.
5. Sod the housework. As long as you and your baby are fed, clean and happy, the rest of it can wait. Utilise any help you have from friends/partner/mum etc
6. Enjoy these early day they are the best thing ever

Just to add , you will probably feel elated for a few days after the birth but will have a dip in your mood around the time that your milk comes in. You might feel weepy , this is normal but do talk to your mw or hv if it continues or gets worse.

Congratulations by the way.

Yes and in answer to your question , a midwife will visit you when you're home from the hospital , you'll later get a hv visit and they'll give you the immunisation schedule. You'll probably get a letter with your 6 week check appointment and your baby's 8 week immunisation one later.

I had DC3 two days ago and it's all coming back to me! I'll try to be frank about things, it sounds hard but is totally worth it!
Apologies in advance for the long post but I hope it helps.
At the moment, even though I had a quick and straight forward labour I feel completely exhausted. Just walking out to the car from the ward my legs were burning like I'd run a marathon. It's such a physical experience it takes it out if you and my body aches, I think with tensing up for each contraction.
I bled quite heavily on the first day, changing my pads every time I went to the loo. Can't remember how long I bled before but a friend who just had a baby 4 weeks ago said she is still bleeding though very lightly now.
For DC1 I don't remember any serious afterpains (these are from your uterus contracting back up and tend to be worse when feeding). They were horrendous with DC2 but so far I have got off lightly again th is time round.
I was lucky to find breastfeeding reasonably easy though I know it's not the case for everyone. I had skin to skin post birth and baby latched on almost straight away. It's not painful if done properly but the midwives are incredibly helpful.
I've found that DD is so far feeding a lot at night between 12-4am so I've had very little night time sleep. Midwife said this morning that tonight is usually the same but then my milk should come in and she should start going longer.
I've already warned DH to expect me to be a bit teary and emotional over the next couple of days (days 3-5 usually worse for this apparently).
Baby will have a new born check usually before you leave hospital but in my case the next day as the paeds reg was really busy that day.
I saw midwife yesterday and today and someone is coming tomorrow to do babies weight. They often lose a little in the first few days but quickly put it back on. They keep a close eye on you to make sure you're ok physically and mentally and there is lots of support available.

At the moment though I'm sitting in the sun on the patio with DC2, DD is fast asleep in her pram. DD's two big brothers are prouder of her than I could ever imagine and it is so totally worth it.

Prepare yourself for baby blues, I knew all about them but still hit me like a ton of bricks! Depending on the labour you have walking up and downstairs for me was like a gym workout. You constantly get told babies sleep for 15 hours a day - no one tells you it's in 20 minute intervals! Fresh air does the world of good! I left the house 5 days after giving birth for a short walk and it made me feel a million dollars.

Getting out and about really does help, I was petrified of baby screaming in public and getting all stressed but once I was over the fear I was barely at home. Babies cry! For no reason! My health visitor had to keep constantly reminding me that my baby was used to constant noise, darkness and not much room in the womb and it's just as much of a life change for them as it is for you.
You cannot spoil your baby! I really hate when people try not to pick the baby up so they don't 'get used to it' babies need reassurance and a cuddle from Mum makes everything better! Not sure where you are but over where I am midwives visited at day 3 and day 7 and then we got discharged at day 11. Health visitor comes in week 1 and week 4 - they explain immunisations.

Hope this helps! X

The biggest shock for me was day three when my milk came in. Swollen, hard and lumpy boobs...horrible!
Lots of things will be sore and you won't get long periods of sleep to recover but just focus on that little person snuggled into your breast. You are their whole world.

Newborns sleep in the day and wake at night, it takes a while for them to work it out.

They also may only want to sleep on you.

It’s totally normal to feel like you’ve been hit by a bus.

Not everyone gets that overwhelming rush of love the minute you give birth. That’s ok! Labour is hard work!

You may find yourself in a wee bit of shock once your baby arrives. You will be physically drained but it's not uncommon find it extemely hard to sleep throughout the first week out of a mixture of fear and adjusting to sleeping in naps rather than a nice chunk. You may also find it hard to share the burden with daddy (nursing, possiveness, fear again are common reasons). It's really vital to try and share baby with daddy as much as possible and encourage him to get involved in bath time and skin to skin and to try and trust that he loves baby as much as you do and if you are nursing then that time will let daddy bond too!

Six weeks seems to be a magic number, i remember being dead on my feet with my second. I am not even remotely exaggerating when I say that I was staring at my son, on the verge of tears wondering what the hell I was going to do with myself due to exhaustion when he smiled at me for the first time. It was also the same time as his colic eased up.

You will be amazing mummy, just accept help when it's offered and remember it's all just phases and you wil get sleep I promise xxxx

This has been such a lovely thread to read up to now. I’m due my first DC in three months and all I seem to read is the negatives of how awful breastfeeding is and how terrible I will feel afterwards. This is very refreshing.

Sorry nothing to add OP, but just wanted to comment. Good luck

What lovely responses. I’m 4 weeks in with DS2. If I was to add anything, I would say that it’s ok if you just sit on the sofa for weeks - it’s your job to just look after yourself and your baby. I overdid things with DS1 and this time I’m hardly leaving the house, and loving it.

The thing that surprised me was the horrible feeling of separation anxiety when my DH took our LO out for an hour within the first few weeks to give me a chance to get some sleep. I couldn't stop crying and just wanted her back! My midwife said it's a natural reaction considering you've spent 9+ months carrying your baby and the unique nature of the mother-child bond.