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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

Organising childcare for DS while in hosp... what worked for you?

17 replies

3flightsofstairs · 28/05/2007 23:43

Hoping someone can help!
We have an 18month old DS and need to decide what to do with him when I go into labour - in 4 weeks-ish time. We have no family close to where we live (central London) and all of our mates are either now out of town with their kids or working.
Does anyone have any good ideas?
Other complication is that if we don't exchange/complete on the purchase of our house we're planning to go to a serviced apartment (as we're def moving out of our flat before baby2 comes along) so we don't know exactly where that will be... (although probably pretty close to where we live now).
Help!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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yellowshoes · 28/05/2007 23:49

homebirth?

Original poster

3flightsofstairs · 28/05/2007 23:55

now that would be good - altho I ended up having a section last time and I'd rather be in hospital in case we end up there again.

OP posts:

TigerFeetFormerlyCheesyFeet · 29/05/2007 00:14

Watching with interest as we don't really have anyone near us that could have dd should we ever decide to have dc2

I have heard of instances where the dh/dp stays at home with current children while the baby is being born, but that would be miserable for you.

Could someone come and stay with you for a while? Could you arrange a rota of people to stay for a few days each around your due date? Alternatively, if you know you are in labour but nothing will happen for a couple of hours, could someone get to you in that time?

kamikayzed · 29/05/2007 00:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TigerFeetFormerlyCheesyFeet · 29/05/2007 00:34

That sounds good kamikayzed

I needed dh though, he had the very important job of holding one of my legs in the air - the only place where it was comfortable - as i was too off my tits on gas &air to do it myself

Original poster

3flightsofstairs · 29/05/2007 00:34

I've been trying to tell DH that he can wait with DS in the hospital while I'm busy labouring away - I only realise now that I was fairly oblivious to the fact that he was there most of the time (haven't told him that tho!) and had an OK labour up until the end when DS refused to budge and i had to wait hours on a theatre for emergency (haha) section - with no pain relief. Was good that he was there mainly because the midwife kept leaving us for hours on end.
Would rather have him there, of course, given the option

OP posts:

TigerFeetFormerlyCheesyFeet · 29/05/2007 00:41

If your dh can't be there, could you find a doula to stand in for him?

Original poster

3flightsofstairs · 29/05/2007 00:49

I think he wants to be there - esp as the last one all went a bit crazy. He'd feel his role would be to shout at people on my behalf if it came to it. And for that alone I couldn't find a better birthing partner even despite me being oblivious to him for half of it.

OP posts:

CristinaTheAstonishing · 29/05/2007 06:37

Difficult one. You might just need to ask your family to come over or friends to be prepared to take a day off work for you.

flightattendant · 29/05/2007 06:49

That's really tricky. I was worried about the same kind of thing as I'm on my own with DS (4), but lucky enough to have a very involved Grandma up the road, which of course you don't have...however I've managed to find a trainee Doula who is happy to assist for no charge - some are very cheap to hire anyway, I'm told -

Mum was upset that she wouldn't be there with me for this time (she was when DS was born) but I had to delegate in the best way I knew, and to me having DS looked after by a familiar person was the priority. I will have to labour without her this time as she has a more important job to do!

I hope you manage to work it out, perhaps DH and DS could hang around nearby and drop in to see you - but it looks like you might be doing a fair bit of labouring on your own
If it was a night labour, DS might be asleep then DH could concentrate on you - fingers crossed!!

kamikayzed · 29/05/2007 09:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BetsyBoop · 29/05/2007 14:51

ask your close friends, you might be suprised by their reaction.

One of my close friends has no family close by was really nervous asking me if there was any chance I could be stand in cover to look after their DD if things happened quickly & her MIL (who live 2 hrs away, outside rush hour, more during) couldn't get their in time. She needn't have worried, I was honoured to be asked. I spoke to my boss in advance & he was fine that I might need to disappear at short notice if needed (but then he was a great boss)

As it happened DD2 decided to arrive early when MIL was over visiting for DH's birthday, so I wasn't needed, but I was ready if she needed me.

I'm in the same boat this time, with no family close & DD will be 22months when the baby is due, but my next door neighbour (who is a close friend now & knows DD well) has volunteered, and also the same friend has offered to return the favour if my neighbour isn't around for any reason.

dizzydo · 29/05/2007 18:11

3flightsofstairs I am a trainee Doula and live close to central London, I may be able to help you if you wanted to contact me.

Original poster

3flightsofstairs · 30/05/2007 01:27

Thanks for your responses - I've had a couple of offers from friends who have said they'll take the day off work which I think is such a generous thing to do, I'm completely taken aback! You were right Betsyboo!

I guess if it all goes really quickly (been reading another thread of how fast 2nd labours can be - aargh!) then we'll all be at the hospital together!

Just need to sort out where we'll be living now!

OP posts:

MissPitstop · 30/05/2007 14:56

I am in a pretty similar position to you 3flights. We move from Ireland to England when I am 36+ weeks. We wont know anyone in the area we are moving to and my family will be 2 hours drive away! I don't know who I will get to look after DS1 and DS2 when the time comes, I guess DH will have to take them to family and hope that he's back in time. I had DS1 at 33 weeks and DS2 at 38 weeks so not even sure we will get to england before DS3 is born either, or which hospital I will be going to!?! Im trying not to worry about it for now and am hoping that DS3 decides to arrive on a weekend when DS1 and DS2 are visiting family or during the week when they are at school!!

yomellamoHelly · 30/05/2007 15:09

We had the same dilemma. I'm sure it happens from time to time that dc1 ends up going in too and hospitals have some sort of policy.
As it was ds2 arrived early the first night PIL came to stay. (I told my bump on the way up to bed that if he wanted to put in an appearance then now was a good time to show his face - he was born 8:30 the next morning!)

lilKelBel · 30/05/2007 18:13

3flights just want to say good luck - I had DD last week and was panicking up till the end about our coverage for DS (14mo). All our family live overseas so it was tricky. We had a planned section and therefore could plan for MIL to be here for that date, and the following weeks, but we were convinced I'd go into labour early and we'd be stuck without someone to look after DS.

In the end all happened as planned () but my plan B for early labour included a rota of friends & neighbours who could come over or who would take DS in if need be. Plus DS's childminder agreed to take DS for extra days/hours as needed. I would have had a Doula if I'd planned a natural labour - they can help with older kids too sometimes. I ended up needing friends and the childminder to help out because the week before my section, I had a couple of false alarms and spent some time in hospital being monitored - people are surprisingly willing to help sometimes

Wishing you the best!

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