Traumatic Birth - How long should recovery take?

[dizzymummy]

Hi, I'm looking for a bit of advice, I had a pretty traumatic birth experience 7 weeks ago. My dd was born by forceps but directly afterwards I started to bleed heavily.

I lost 4 litres of blood and had to have a lot of stitches both internally (from what I can gather) & externally.

I'm still really sore and although I'm definately getting better I was wondering if anyone had a similar experience and if so, how long was it before you felt back to normal down below!!

Thanks

I didn't have quite as bad a time as you - ventouse/episiotomy and fair few stitches, and I felt absolutely grim for about 6 weeks after, then things started to feel a bit more normal. So be kind to yourself, try not to do too much non-essential shopping/housework/physical stuff, and if in doubt, get checked over by your GP.

it tool me a long time to feel better after bleeding heavily and having loads of stiches, if i'm honest it was 6 months before i had sex.

this should be a helpful thread

was this your first?

I am sorry you had a difficult time, must have been very worrying and frightening

firstly, you should give yourself at least 6 weeks to start getting back to normal physically..so hopefully you are starting to feel a bit less battered and bruised

it can take a lot longer for the mental scars to heal, and don;t be fobbed off by being told you should just be glad your baby is ok, or that things could have been worse

also, you can try writing it down, that can be helpful and cathartic

if necessary, contact PALS at the hospital you gave birth in and see about being debriefed and going through your notes with someone

Hi Dizzymummy,

I had internal / external stitches - prompting the midwife to say when i was pregnant with my second that i'd had a bumectomy!!! (Quite proud of the scarring now)

Forceps, clips on the babies head internally etc. etc. - DS born blue with a score of 2.

However - i had DS2 two years later! And sex came few months after birth of DS1.

He's fine now and so am i but - it did take me about four months before i felt really well again. I was still struggling to walk upstairs after two months.

For goodness sake - don't be too hard on yourself - no two births are the same and no one that's had a "straightforward" one will be able to know how you feel - as i'm sure they would admit themselves.

Take care!

I had a second degree tear, lots and lots of stitches and bled for over 3 months.

After the pain receeded I felt loads better and after the bleeding stopped we had sex again which I was really nervous about, but it was fine.

Dont rush things, its only been 7 weeks and it sounds like you had a rough time....be kind to yourself.

Hi Dizzymummy, you poor thing, I really feel for you. I'm afraid my experience won't be encourageing for you either. My first was pretty traumatic too - I had a venthouse delivery, and the chain broke on the venthouse cup which I think was indicative of the pressure they were using and maybe explained why I haemorraged badly too. I believe I passed out, and I am not sure how much blood I lost, but I would have qualified for a transfusion. I think the only reason I didn't have one was because I was coping alright without. I had what felt like an enormous epesiotomy, so glad to have had an epidural, though of course I felt like a bus had been parked up my insides when that wore off! Notwithstanding all that I was so won over by my daughter I was clear I wanted another babe before I left hospital, (sucker for punishment ), and DD2 was born 18 months later (a dream delivery as it happens). However, although DD1 was an easy baby and I made a good recovery in other respects, the epesiotomy scar gave me lots of grief. I couldn't have sex comfortably for about a year, and even now, (almost 9 yrs on), certain positions are apt to be uncomfortable as the scarring doesn't seem to lubricate. When I consulted my doctor (a mum herself), she recommended lots of sex to sort of harden myself up (!), or if I wanted to I could have the epesiotomy re-done (ie re-cut and re-stitched). What she didn't mention, and which I read about elsewhere, is that there are sprays to sort of anaesthetise the area, so that your sex life doesn't vanish. Anyhow, I hope you get better support and a better recovery than I did, and I hope that you love being a mum as much as I have from word go! I would still go through all that again to have DD1 - though it would be nice not to have to!

Hi Dizzymummy, I had a bit of a hard time with DS but not as bad as you by the sounds of it!
My main problem was DS has a very large head, which no one had thought to tell me about, and I had a full bladder while I was trying to push, due to the large amount of fluids they were pumping into me. So when I finally had my bladder emptied () with the next push out came DS in a big rush catching everyone by surprise and it felt like he'd turned me inside out in the process.
I had a lot of internal stitches and a couple of external ones.
I found sex a bit fraught afterwards, I bleed after the first two times and shyed away from it for ages after that. DH got upset about the lack of sex which then made arguments, until we sat down and I told him what was wrong. He went out and brought a big tub of KY jelly and we hav'ent looked back since. Sorry if that's TMI.
Things will get back to normal, it might just take a bit of time.
Enjoy your DD

sounds like you had a really hard time. i've never really had such a bad time of it but this time round i'm sure my labial tear got infected cos it was still really painful after 6 weeks. the gp didn't seem concerned about it but I decided to take matters in my own hands as it were and put tea tree on it a few times a day. it was much better after just 2 days, and that was after weeks of really hurting. is there any chance it could be something similar?

Thanks everyone for your replies. I had an emergency caesarian with my first and thought the recovery from that was bad but was a piece of cake compared to this!

My DD was 9.5 lbs which was a bit of a shock for all concerned! she's gorgeous but the poor thing didn't turn properly on her way out and fractured her clavicle (this was discovered the next day) thank god she is fine (she is receiving physio but they are pretty certain she'll make a full recovery) she is a little honey!

I have been really lucky as to be honest I thought I was a goner! I had to have 10 units of blood & 10 units of clotting agent and I remember hearing that my red blood count went to 4.5 which I realised afterwards was pretty low! Sometimes it does scare me a little, I try not to think about it too much and try to focus on the positives.

The hospital was great though - the staff on the labour unit were fantastic.

Wow 4.5 red cell count. I think mine was 6.5 which I thought was bad enough! 9.5lbs is big too - made me think about my mum's experience - my youngest bro (3rd child) was born by forceps after emergency transfer to hospital. He was 11lbs 15oz! Ouch! Her tummy muscles never really recovered, but I think everything else did pretty quickly. She maintains her planned home birth would have gone fine if only he hadn't twisted his head and got stuck. Her 2nd child was 9lbs 10oz and she had him at home with no pain relief - said she could have had another one half an hour afterwards! (I said that of my 2nd child - and only my 2nd child - but she was only 6lb 8.5oz). Personal stories and advice can only help so far - everyone's experience is so hugely individual and varies so much from child to child too. Fingers crossed you make a complete recovery very soon.

I think from 6 weeks you slowly start to get a bit better. I too had a bit of a rough birth but without all the haemoraging like you, that must of been really awful. Ds had to be delivered quickly because his heart rate was slowing down so they tried ventous a few times then had forcep delivery in the end with an episiotomy.

I did feel that i was taking a really long time to recover & as for walking i couldn't bsically very well for ages. My midwife advised lots of lavender essential oil baths, that did help. I think after about 21/2- 3 months i was feeling better.

like someone else said be kind to yourself!

my dd was born 16months ago following ventouse, and episiotomy.

I healed relativly normally after about 7 weeks, when I was back riding my horse and even had sex.

Can I just highjack this?

But even now the scar is hard and aches terribly for a few minutes after an orgasm. I can not even face having penetrative sex.

Anyone elses scar ache? I need a smear and I am terrified, do you think this is normal?

being terrified of having a smear and pain in the scar over a year later is not normal, but common IFYSWIM

it might be you are worried about sex, and the smear and that makes you tense, that can make it difficult to relax , which might make things painful

anything like this is worth referring to a gynae, to ensure your stitches have healed correctly and that no repair needs doing

also, don;t play down the psychological effects of a birth trauma

had a similar exprience to you and it defo took a good couple of months to feel sphysically well again. Like you thinking about it scared me so I tried to only think positives thoughts but tbh the emotional side caught up with me eventually so I would really recomend having a good chat with someone you trust just to share what a frightening experience it was for you.

What happened to you Tubismybub? (don't worry if you don't want to talk about it as I know how upsetting it can be)

Lilochum 11.15lbs ouch!! that sounds awful

Thanks for all your help everyone

i would definitely recommend the BTA, and going over your notes with someone

ds was a big baby 10lbs and i started to bleed as soon as I started pushing, lost 3 litres and eventually he was born by forceps (after a small arguement between doctor and midwife as to whether I should go to theatre- it was frightening enough without medical staff arguing about what they should do!)

I had a couple of tranfusions but remember being so scared waiting for my blood to arrive and seeing how low my blood pressure was.

Once I was moved to the ward I was so gratefull we were both alive I was determined to only be positive and was on a mad high, but for about a week I was scared to go to sleep cause I thought I might not wake up again felt very week for quite a few weeks.

Not sure how to explain the emotional side really but the fear of the bit lurked around and gradually turned into a general anxiety about my health. I should have spoken to the mid wife about it and chatted properly about what had happened to me as although the staff were great nooone really explained at the time what was happening.

I also had ALOT of stitch's and felt incredibly sore for a while and I would say it took about a year for sex to feel comfortable but think part of that is also psycholological.

Anyway I feel great now and you will too just try and rest as much as you can and do chat to someone about your worries and fears about the birth. I definately think it's harder to come to terms with a traumatic birth when you don't know exactly what happened to you.

that should say fear of the birth by the way!

dizzymummy,17mths later the gyne is still weighing up whether to give surgery to repair scar tissue which explains the painful sex.
I too had a lot of haemorrhaging and had an awful migraine afterwards which has just been explained as my pituitary gland loosing it's blood flow as my brain was so busy trying to hold onto what blood it had.
Keep an eye on things as massive blood loss can cause Sheehan's syndrome which is what I have now. If you have any low thyroid symptoms, things like severe cold, excessive tiredness more so than just new baby tiredness. Don't just blame it on having two get your levels checked.
Sheehans is very rare in Westernised countries as most people don't have such severe haemorrhages.
Good luck I hope you heal quicker than I did.