Please help-length of labour

[Pebbles4886]

Sorry to bother everyone but am trying to figure out how long my labour was as I’m terrified that if there’s a next time I won’t make it to the hospital in time.

Woke up about 6am with faint period pains. They get stronger and about 9am I call up Labour Line for advice. Midwife on phone is very nice and tell me labour is starting, so just relax. She then asks me about baby’s movements and I tell her my baby hasn’t really moved for about 24 hours (I know I should have rung hospital earlier but I had a bad experience when I rang up for blood results for obstetric cholestasis when I was told by receptionist that I shouldn’t be wasting their time). Midwife tells me to go hospital for monitoring.

Get to hospital about 10am and have trace put on. Heartbeat really good but baby doesn’t move for first hour I’m there. Midwife looking after me suggest I have some lunch as she wants me to see a consultant in the afternoon.

Pain gets worse during lunch. See consultant about 2ish and she gives me the choice of sweep or induction. I go with the sweep and is then sent home to come in the next day for another trace.

About 3ish in car, suddenly get a really sharp pain that causes me to shout out. It gets stronger and by 7pm and crying for partner to get home. Call Labour Line and am told that I’m not in enough pain and to take paracetamol.

Manage to make a few phone calls and eat dinner but then throw it up and about 10ish my plug goes. Call Labour Line again and am told to relax and go to sleep.

Can’t sleep. Spend night in agony on settee. Ring again and am told they can tell I’m not in enough pain and have a bath. Have bath and again try to relax but at 5am call them again and finally they say I can come in for pain relief.

Get to birth centre about 6am. Midwife takes blood pressure and urine and try’s to get me to drink some but I vomit it up. She then tells me I need to go labour ward due to baby’s movements.

About 7am am on labour ward and my midwives come in. Student midwife discovers I’m 9cm dilated! At 9am am told I can start pushing, waters break at some point when pushing and my beautiful Dd is born at exactly 12pm.

Have tried to work it out myself but just end up very confused. On my notes I’m down as being in labour for 6 hours. I spoke to a midwife and she said next time they’ll arrange it so I come in earlier for pain relief but I fear it will be so quick next time that I won’t make it.

Sorry to bother everyone with it but I just can’t stop thinking about it. Any advice would be greatly appreciated

It sounds like a debrief kind of thing might be quite useful for you? Especially as your pains etc went on for a couple of days and you had reduced movement, it could help you make sense of things.

It's hard to say how long you were in labour from your description, especially if you weren't examined till 9cm, but it doesn't sound scarily quick or like you're in danger of not making in to hospital. My 2nd labour was just over 3 hrs and I still had time for gas and air!!

I would agree you need to talk this through with your midwife-maybe request an appointment specifically for this purpose?
As PP says though, this doesn’t sound scarily fast and every pregnancy is different. No reason to think you wouldn’t have time to get to chosen birth place and access pain relief.

It sounds like Maybe around 7pm your labour got serious when you were shouting for your DP. It sounds very frustrating for you and a debrief might be very helpful!

Doesn't sound like it was very quick so I wouldn't worry about not making it to hospital second time round. Apparently on average labour time halves for your second.

Not sure whether the length of labour in your notes really has any meaning...mine was down as starting when I was FINALLY moved to a birthing suite despite them examining me and confirming I was in active labour two hours before that.

So frustrating when they condescendingly tell you you're not in active labour yet though isn't it? No one would examine me until I was literally screaming the place down. And I swear to god if one more midwife had suggested I had a bath they'd have got a smack (I'm not normally violent I swear!).

It sounds like quite a protracted labour to me. You will be more confident and assertive second time around about knowing that you need to be in hospital sooner, and you won't believe someone telling you "you aren't in enough pain to be in labour".

I was also told this at 2pm with first child, when I had a routine 38 week check. I thought I was having some contractions, but the midwife said not, because I talked through them all and finished the appointment saying I was going to walk home (just over a mile). DC was born at 5pm in my front room, after the midwife arrived at 4:45pm and essentially told me off for creating a fuss as I'd been seen at 2pm and I wasn't in labour! My labour was officially recorded as 2 hours, but I think it was longer. With DC2 it was a 45 minute "offical" labour and 4 hours with DC3.

The moral is, listen to your body and trust yourself to ask for what you need. Your second and subsequent labours can be longer than your first, too.

You were in active labour for 6 hours.

it doesn't sound scarily quick if that helps :)

mine were scary quick and was told next dc I would most likely have at home (that was enough to put me off lol!)

as everyone said, you know your body now for the next time and that makes such a big difference

I'm sorry that you went through this. I went through something similar with being told to 'go home, take some paracetamol and have a bath'. I also remember calling the labour ward but not sounding in pain enough to come in.

I agree with PP to get a debrief.

All the best

Thank you everyone for your help and support. I know it sounds silly but it’s really been troubling me as I felt so alone and frightened-it sounds melodramatic but I honestly thought I was going to die. Also I’m constantly cursing myself for not being assertive enough at the time and throughout my pregnancy and when I was discharged from midwife care (thank god I have an amazing health visitor).

I did have a birth debrief but was still confused afterwards. I told her I was terrified of being ignored again but she assured me that it won’t happen and that next time I can come to hospital straight away and have pain relief. She also promised that next time my mental health problems and learning difficulties will be properly supported. However, it hasn’t stopped me worrying, especially as I feel like it’s just going to happen again.

pebbles, if it helps, I guarantee that most women feel they weren't assertive enough first time round - I know I certainly did. And chances are we weren't, because we were so scared and didn't really know what was going on with our own bodies!

Next time round you'll be in a far better position because you'll remember what happened before but more importantly, you aren't as terrified as you know what your body has gone through before!

have you got a birth partner or a dp/dh? if you haven't, might it be worth looking at someone like a doula who can help you through the next birth?

I'd agree with daffodeffo, I definitely think I should have been more assertive.

Yes I have my partner, who feels very guilty that he slept through most of my labour that night and had a shower before we left for the hospital. We have talked about next time and he said he will make sure that next time we are both more assertive and question things more. I’m certainly not taking paracetamol for contractions again

My notes stated I was in active labour for 1h 10 mins! When I had my debrief the senior Midwife said they would make a note on my medical file at the hospital that I must come in as soon as contractions start. If I have number two and ring up in labour and get robbed off I can then refer them to my medical record

Make sure they do this for you saying you won’t be ignore next time isn’t enough.

Next time I I’m hiring a doula as my DH was useless at advocating for me and just repeated what the midwives said parrot fashion (the Midwife said your not in labour) whereas what I needed was for DH was to kick off and demand pain relief/that I was checked/that I needed to speak to someone more senior/that the situation was unacceptable, etc

To be honest Littlemissdaredevil I am tempted to hire a doula next time as I am worried how things will pan out. The midwife I spoke to said it would only stand if I remain with this trust and I had referrals last time that were never carried out.

No being in enough pain seems mad. Surely the experience of pain is subjective? (Sorry I know this isn't what the thread is about)

Don’t worry, I totally agree. They kept saying because I could talk they could tell I wasn’t in enough pain, despite the fact I was saying I was in so much pain I thought I was dying!