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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

Just had tour at hospital and I am so frightened!!!

23 replies

twoplusone · 22/05/2007 20:03

Just had the hospital tour and all the memories came flooding back of the pain etc... I am so frightened...., was shaking when I left!!!!

I know I am being silly.. just needed to write it down I suppose.. I think it is also the fact the I cant have gas and air which I delivered on last time....

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

MaPickle · 22/05/2007 20:04

Why can't you have gas and air? What a bummer

I'm sorry you're feeling scared

morningpaper · 22/05/2007 20:04

Aw! Why can't you have G&A? Was last time prolonged?

morocco · 22/05/2007 20:07

i know just what you mean, in fact it was one of the reasons I decided on a home birth, leaving it to the last minute as always lol at 37 weeks. maybe that could be an option?

Original poster

twoplusone · 22/05/2007 20:07

I am in Germsny as dh is oin the forces.. and they dont believe in Gand A they dont think it does anything..

they said we can have the injection and Voltrol supositary, (which I had after c-section with my dd) so I think I will go for that!..

OP posts:

Kathyis6incheshigh · 22/05/2007 20:09

well remember second births are more likely to be easy - my first time was a bugger but my second i didn't even need the gas & air.
Not saying they're always easier but the odds aren't bad

Original poster

twoplusone · 22/05/2007 20:11

morocco- not allowed a homebith in the married quarters... we cant even have our own midwives.. (who are English) because of insurance reasons..) All but two mw at the hospital do speak English though.
Also told the mw wont come into the room unless we buzz for them to come in.. they dont do the routine checks..they believe that it is private for you.. once the baby is delivered the mw just help them to lay on the bed and it is down to DH or I to pick the baby up first and place on me.. which is fine though..

Just cant believe how frightened I am about it all

OP posts:

Original poster

twoplusone · 22/05/2007 20:12

Thats the other thing thats frightening me.. my second stage with DS (who was number 2) was about 20-30mins.. went from 3cm to 10cm in 10mins three pushes later ds landed at the foot of the bed as mw couldnt catch him he flew out!!

OP posts:

ScaryHairy · 22/05/2007 20:13

Don't be frightened.
Personally I don't think gas and air does anything, but you delivered last time with only that which is AMAZING. You are clearly very good at this! You might not need it this time, and they do offer other pain killers.
IMO the Germans are a bit anti-pain relief in general (DH tells me he had fillings on adult teeth with no injection before he left home...) but German women cope. As I understand it they take a more holistic approach to childbirth. And their post natal care is rumoured to be so much better than we Londoners can expect - they stay in for ages. I can really only imagine that they have some great way to help women cope because in all the photos I get sent of German women cradling babies they have just delivered the women look fab! Quite different from the spotty, bruised, exhausted, drugged mess I was...

MaPickle · 22/05/2007 20:14

"they dont believe in Gand A they dont think it does anything"

WTF? After a few hours I decided it was time for the gas and air, took a big suck, nearly fell over, waved the mask around and shouted "This is fucking brilliant! I want some for weekends". Doesn't work my arse.

lulumama · 22/05/2007 20:16

it is not silly

it is important to deal with this before baby arrives!!

you can practice breathing techniques

use water or TENS

your own endorphins can help relieve pain

massage , visualisation can help too

mobilising and vocalising help

as can pethidine. i presume that is the injection they mean

also it sounds like you have good strong quick labours, so you probably won;t be need to much pain relief !

singingmum · 22/05/2007 20:17

gas and air does do a lot.I was v.happy on g&a.Did wonders for me
(know not helpful but am that someone didn't find it wonderful)
Twoplusone, you'll be fine all that will matter when you go into labour is baby coming out and you'll stop shaking and do whats neccessary.
Get dh to watch some dvd's or read some books so that he is as ready as poss to put your mind at rest

aardfark · 22/05/2007 20:19

You WILL get through it whatever, you've done it before and I don't think the gas and air was responsible entirely - it was YOU doing the work after all. Try to remember it's only one day and you can do it.

SenoraPostrophe · 22/05/2007 20:20

twoplusone: I know what you mean about the fear when there is no gas and air - they don't do it in spain either.

but second births are almost always much easier than first births. ds1 was an accidental natural birth and actually it was easier than dd's birth (with epidural). you'll be fine. maybe buy a 2nd hand tens machine to help?

how's your german?

morocco · 22/05/2007 20:21

ah - what a shame! mind you at least you get to stay in the country, I knew people from the us forces who had to fly back home at 6 months to have the baby there
actually, you know altho I had g and a for dd1 I didn't notice any effect apart from very handy to bite and it helped with breathing. with ds2 i had only used tens and breathing and I actually think the breathing was more effective. but it's never nice to have something ruled out that you wanted to use.
would it be helpful to think of other stuff you could do beforehand like get some hypnobirthing cds, get some massage oils together etc?
hugs

Original poster

twoplusone · 22/05/2007 20:21

i am hoping to have a water birth, if that room isnt available there is another room with a huge rond bed that moves up and down.. The one thing that I did think was genius is in everyroom there is a big length of material in knots habging from the ceiling.. so that youcan use this as you are contracting to help take your weight so that your dh can concentrate on rubbing your back..

Think just need to get my head round it, as ScaryHaitry said thousands of German women have babies... so things cant be that bad.. I think it is just because it is the unknown too and knowing that things are done differently than what would be done in the UK..

OP posts:

Original poster

twoplusone · 22/05/2007 20:24

Thank you all for being so kind..

My german is next to nil!!!

I know I will be able to do this and I will just focus on the beautiful baby that I will have at the end of it all and that is what is important.. Think the reality is just setting in about everything and needed to get it down...

OP posts:

MKG · 22/05/2007 20:40

I'm in the US and we don't do Gas and Air here either. Only dentists use it.

ScaryHairy · 22/05/2007 20:45

Twoplusone - At the hospital where I had my DD they had a similar thing - a sort of hammock hanging from the ceiling that you could put your upper body into and stay standing up for labour and, if you wanted, delivery. I sooooo wanted a go in it but they wouldn't let me. Please try your equivalent and let me know what you think?

I am very of people for whom g and a works, btw. For me the only helpful thing about it was having something to bite other than my husband!

paulaplumpbottom · 22/05/2007 22:23

Don't be frightened. Gas and air only really helps in early labor anyway (at least for me anyway). Just keep in mind how many women go through natural childbirth a day. They all get through it and you will to. Try to relax and think about that perfect little bundle you will get at the end.

luciemule · 22/05/2007 22:30

Don't worry -I've got quite a few BFG friends who've delivered in Germany and they all said it was fine. One had lovely smelling candles all around the room (her's I think) and they gave her homeopathic salts under her tounge for pain relief (not sure if they worked). But she said she didn't mind about the G & A. Can't you have the english woman (think she's SAFFA) who comes and makes sure you're ok. I had gall bladder removed there and she was a liason officer who regullarly checked on me throughout my stay. I'm sure you're entitled to one of those people, although not MWs.

Original poster

twoplusone · 23/05/2007 07:43

We can ask for the liason officer to come and see us it we want whilst we are in the hospital..

I know I will be ok (deep down), TBH thnk my biggest fear is the the pain again as every single emotion and pain suddenly came rushing back to me, think that is what has frightened me more than anything.
No matter how frightened I am this baby is going to make an appearance at somepoint, and I know I will be fine, and DH will be there for me everystep of the way.. As I said to DH last night hopefully by the time of the birth (7+weeks to go) hopefully I will have calmed down again and wont be frightened anymore.. need to rationalise everything in my head.

Thank you all so much again for your kind words and helping me.

OP posts:

lemonaid · 23/05/2007 08:04

G&A worked for me but only when I was on continuous monitoring -- if I took a breath of it when the numbers on the contraction-o-meter started to go up, even though I couldn't feel the contraction at that point, it was great. If I waited until I could actually feel the beginning of the contraction then it didn't help.

You will be OK, though. As lulumama says, look into TENS, which will be helpful in the early stages. And it sounds as though your late first stage and second stage are pretty quick.

Annie75 · 23/05/2007 11:20

Poor you - it's horrible dreading something. I would try and get yourself as prepared and relaxed as possible. What about trying a hypnotherapy CD in the weeks running up to the birth? I'm planning on buying one of these - you could order the hospital birth one and see if they'll post it to you.

If you're really nervous is there a good friend you can bring in with you for moral support?

Maybe read some of the birth announcements here to make you focus on the end result. Good luck x

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