advice for friend just home after emergency c-s

[amidaiwish]

need words of wisdom/advice for my friend who had an emergency c-s on sunday morning (after 20 hours of induction was only at 4cm). she came home yeterday and is sore, tearful and baby is crying a lot. think she is also struggling a bit with having to have a cs.

the baby cries sound to me like hunger, which i said to just go with as her milk won't be in yet, but to just hang on in there and suckle as much as you can (she is determined to bf)

any other advice oh wise ones?

get her comfy to bf - mums with c/s are more likely to get sore nipples as it can be hard to move into a good bf position if the c/s scar is painful.

let her be with her baby - is there someone to do all the housework & cooking so she can rest.

RE breastfeeding see if she can feed lying on her side, with lots of pillows around her and baby lying beside her in bed- sometimes that is more comfy after a c-section. Also see if she has one of those feeding pillows (the u-shaped ones) as sometimes those help raise the baby up so she doesn't slouch at all when sitting to feed. Also try holding the baby in the 'rugby ball' hold, with legs/body round her side rather than across her middle, supported by one arm, so less pressure goes across the wound.

Finally I really recommend taking Arnica 30C as it's excellent for healing. And makes sure she drinks loads of fluids and snacks frequently, particularly on dry fruit.

The first 2 weeks are tough but it will get better I promise! Keep an eye on the scar for any inflammation....

Like maisym said try to minimise what else she has to do- no cooking, cleaning etc. so she can rest when her baby sleeps and spend as much time close to her little one as possible. Big hugs xxx

definitely lots of skin to skin and suckling

arnica

a breastfeeding pillow

and lots of help around the house

lots of dried fruit & peppermint tea to help wind!!

dry scar after bathing with a hairdryer set on low

you are a lovely friend x

Lots of soft fruit to make poo'ing easier.

Under no circumstances should she do any hoovering for 6 weeks. Seriously, better to wade through an inch of accumulated dirt and watch dust-bunnies roll by like tumbleweed than to risk putting your recovery back weeks by hoovering like I did.

Have her dh take baby out to let her sleep sometimes, as sleep aids recovery. You just can't sleep if you can hear your new baby crying.

thanks all
would you recommend a cushion like this or would you go for the "My Brest Friend"?

also the baby does seem hungry but her milk hasn't come in. Is there any harm feeding him some formula from a cup/syringe or should she just hang on in there and let him suckle as much as she can?

I had an emergency c-section with dd and found feeding sitting in a propped up position (lots of pillows) with her laying on top of another big fat pillow, the easiest method. That way the baby is not resting on your scar line and is at the right height level to breastfeed. I found it hard to lay on my side for a few weeks, but eventually that was comfy too.
Re-assure her that it does get easier. I was surprised by how quickly I felt much better physically.
I breastfed for almost 6 months, so it is very possible to BF after a section!
With regards the emotional aspect. I was VERY traumatised by the experience of the section. It was all such a massive rush at the end and I thought my DD was going to die. Your friend might feel sad, guilty, terrified something else might happen to her baby, isolated etc. I felt so out of control I kept fantasising about getting on a train and disappearing. I had post traumatic stress and in hindsight PND for months and months. The important thing is that there is support out there but she needs to ask asap. I went for a debrief with the consultant a few weeks after the birth which helped me to understand what had happened and why. I was then referred by the consultant for counselling at the hospital by a person specialising in traumatic births - many hospitals have this facility now so she can ask if she feels at all iffy about the experience. This was a massive help - I doubt I'd be sitting here pregnant again if I hadn't seen this lady!
Sorry this is so waffly - but I didn't spot the signs in myself, it was my husband who made me get help and I am eternally grateful. If YOU think your friend is not coping encourage her to get help. It makes all the difference.

thank you - i think she is ok, just a bit disappointed she "had" to end up with a CS. She just wasn't dilating past 4cm and her waters had been broken 24 hours before so she agreed to it.
i don't think it was too traumatic or rushed or anything. i will keep an eye on her though!

why won't her milk be in yet?

am confused on that one

you can breastfeed straight away I thought, it is colostrum initially and then milk

if she offers formula now it will mess up her supply

tell her to go to bed and stay there, skin to skin feeding and cuddling

I had an emergency section under GA with dd1 and was VERY weepy for weeks

it is a combination of hormones, pain, relief, fear, disappointment etc etc etc

she needs to take it easy, get all the help she can and ignore any jobs around the house

I repeat - get her to stay in bed

x

i used 2 pillows rather than a special cushion so i could arrange them in a v or several other ways depending on how i felt.

i spent 2 weeks on sofa doing nothing and i think i recovered pretty well because of this. i found sofa easier than bed as i was already sat up (struggled getting out of bed).

she needs lots of dvds, magazines and books so offer to go to library for her.

it took a lot longer for my milk to come in after cs, i ignored mw who told me to give formula and baby is now doing great exclusively bf 13 weeks on. dont listen to the rubbish about 'must have regained birth weight by 2 weeks'. mine took about 4, look at la leche league website or call helpline if she needs advice.

definitely DON'T let her feed him any formula- her milk WILL come in but her breasts will need lots of stimulation from suckling and skin to skin contact with the baby. Also she needs to get lots of rest/sleep to allow her body to recover and put its resources back into producing breastmilk. The baby will be fine for another few days til her milk comes in. I really recommend if she is getting worried contacting La Leche League or the breastfeeding counsellors at the NCT over the phone, they are great. Try not to let her get stressed (much easier said than done) as it WILL happen....

Good luck & send her some big hugs from me! xxx

If you've had a section you need to keep mobile, within reason, so although going to bed and staying might be good for breastfeeding it would not be good for recovery from the actual operation.

I also had an EMCS after failure to dilate (50 hours post induction) and what I found that helped me the most was starting to get out of the house as soon as possible. DP and I went out for lunch the day after I came home from hospital and that gave me the confidence to keep going for it. It just made me feel so much more normal and able to put perspective on things.

she is up and about ok, was up walking about the next day after op.

thanks for all advice so far, keep it coming!

If you have the time/inclination, probably the best thing you can do to help is clean her house and cook her meals! A friend offered to come and clean the house for me when I came home after cs and I refused - two days later I really wished I'd taken her up on it.

Otherwise, lots and lots of cushions for bfing like everyone else has said, a nursing pillow like the one in your link is very handy but I also had a couple of pillows underneath it to raise ds even more and loads behind my back to keep it straight. Still bfing at 9 months so can be done and still using the nursing pillow! Also try sleeping propped up on lots of pillows, she might be really struggling to get out of bed from lying down. A very short and gentle walk to get mobile and out of the house might make her feel a bit better and will probably keep the baby quiet for a while as well. Hope she's feeling better soon.

Encourage her to be able to burst into tears and/or ask people to leave if she wants to - I found that so hard, surrounded by visitors, in pain, exhausted and I just didn't have the will to say "go away I need to sob".

People making meals for us (that can be eaten with a fork in one hand, eg sheperd's pie, pasta bake, lasagne etc) and shopping and bringing milk and tea and the paper, that really helped. (Am filling up now thinking how kind some people were!)

Re the scar, she must keep it clean and keep an eye on it - if there's any sign of it looking reddened or puffy, to the GP asap for antibiotics. Mine got infected and it's not what you need.

A proper pram if she can lay hands on one is the best for c-section recovery - actually helps you to walk so encourages you to get out and about.

dont let her get constipated..... i had a c/s 3 weeks ago, didnt go to the toilet for a week after - god it hurt!!!

Oh and about the breastfeeding, I agree she wants to avoid formula but if the baby loses a lot of weight at first she may have to use formula to get things back on track - I know I may be jumped on but there can come a point where that's necessary and she shouldn't feel bad about it if so. This happened with DS and it didn't stop me going on to breastfeed successfully for 9 months - so she shouldn't give up hope.

well she is doing well today
she is up and about a bit
she is spending lots of time snuggling with the baby breastfeeding in bed and seems good. glad she is ignoring others advice to "put the baby down" "let the baby cry"

she is veggie which makes the whole meal for the freezer thing very tricky! fish cakes... mushroon pasta bake, i will do a couple of things for her.

her husband is on paternity leave and seems to be enjoying it all very much - he was out with the baby in the baby bjorn this morning for a walk and enjoyed all the attention he got!

In that case I'd also add make sure she is taking iron / floradix (though the downside is it can cause constipation, but she'll need it if she's veggie).

Delicious and iron-rich veggie pasta bake - get one of those ready-washed big bags of spinach leaves and chop and lightly steam them, combine with 400g cooked pasta, packet of feta chopped up, a jar of tomato & basil pasta sauce (you know those rago, dolmio, loyd grossman etc ones, or just a tin of chopped tomatoes plus some herbs) and a small glass of white wine. Stir well, put in cassserole dish, top wih parmesan, bake till crispy on top.

That is, 400g of pasta before it's cooked! And for ease of eating, make it small shapes.

great, thank you.
any other vegetarian freezer friendly breast feeding friendly recipes anyone?

apricots are a good source of iron, i am veggie and was not anaemic (for the first time ever, dont know how that happened!). she can still take pregnacare or whatever if breastfeeding. also red lentils can be thrown into anything like pasta sauces etc they are quick to cook and yummy

Totally agree with redfraggle, my experience was similar. It was very frightening, not knowing if ds would be ok.
I also had pnd although I didn't have councelling, I did have a home help for 4 weeks after the birth and lots of support from my family.
A good idea in a situation like this is to fill her freezer so that she doenst need to go shopping/cook. A good lasagne with lots of veg, or potato/veg bake so that she can just pop something in the oven.