Natural labour/ home birth dilemma

[NordicNobody]

Hi all, I'm due my second baby at the end of September. We're living abroad ATM and don't have any family or friends out here who can look after our son when I go into labour. He'll be just about 2 then. I do have friends here, but no one I'm close enough too to ask this of. My midwife has suggested a home birth to solve this problem. In theory I like the idea as I had a horrible time in hospital with my son, including a totally unnecessary induction which lead to all kind of avoidable complication. So the idea of a unmedicalised birth is very appealing to me. And I only live 5 mins from the hospital so not worried about getting there if there's a problem. My only worry is the pain! I wanted a natural labour first time but our son was back to back and it was excruciating. I had an epidural and then later a flipping massive episiotomy. I afraid that if I go for home birth and only have access to things like gas and air/ water bath etc then I won't be able to cope with the pain. I'm also afraid of tearing along my scar and the thought of feeling that makes me cringe. Has anyone had a natural/ home birth and how did it go?

I've had two homebirths and planning a third in a few months. Firstly, look into perineal massage - that could help with tearing. Also look into hypnobirthing. And also sit at home on a birthing ball, esp from 34 weeks. Avoid slouching on a sofa, to try to convince baby in the best position. If baby is back to back before labour, look into spinning babies website.

Will you be able to hire a birthing pool? The pool was crucial for me.
Good luck, you can do this!

I understand your concerns - my first birth was traumatic for me - was induced, couldn't cope with the contractions, so had epidural, then labour stopped progressing, so had forceps and episiotomy. Ugh.

But have subsequently had two "natural" births with gas and air only. In hospital, as easier for me for various reasons, but may as well have been at home.

I also would really recommend hypnobirthing to prepare - only did it for my third birth, but it helped so much. Can recommend the book by Sophie Fletcher.

Im having a home birth this time hopefully.
I had a hospital induction birth last time and had an epidural and an episiotomy. I also had pethadine and gas and air. I had it all!!
It was awful and I am worried about the pain this time round but I do think in terms of my personality that the fear of being in hospital surrounded by strangers made it a lot harder to actually deal with the pain. I think that at home it may be easier for me to manage. I know this wont be the case with everyone...
Induction is important too as it can be far more painful than going into labour naturally..... if you are at home your labour will be natural and build up gradually. Induction can take a long long time as well which effects your ability to cope with pain. I think that statistically second births tend to be a bit shorter which should help you cope with pain.

I've had one HB and hoping for another any time soon.

Totally agree with PP re perineal massage/support during labour. I birthed a 9lb baby without so much as a scratch. Mw was pouring water over my perineum as DC crowned and I honestly think it helped.

I also found a TENS machine to be invaluable. You can hire these cheaply in U.K. So presume you can elsewhere too.

I also spent a lot of time in the bath (sans TENS machine!) which helped.

G&A was helpful too.

So yes, it can be done, it does hurt tho

I found reading Ina May Gaskin's natural midwifery book very helpful to get my mind in the right place.

Cba hypnobirthing, it's not for me, but know others have found it helpful.

Thanks everyone, that's really encouraging to hear.

@Dreamingofkfc thanks for all those tips! My SIL used hypnobirthing and also recommended it. And yes, the homebirth team will provide a birthing pool apparently.

@littlecabbage that was my exact birth experience and it sucked. I was constantly fighting to not be taken for a c section and then the epidural gave me a high temperature so they got all panicked about sepsis and we had to stay in hospital for a week having antibiotic and even a lumbar puncture. It was so stressful and I really don't want to repeat that experience! I'll check out that book on hypnobirthing, thanks.

@thetriangleisarealinstrument I know exactly what you mean about the stress of thinking about going back to hospital being as bad as the fear of pain. Hope your homebirth goes well!

@MyNameIsTotoro thanks for the advice. I used a TENS with my first and found it very helpful in the early stages. No idea if I can hire one here but I'd be surprised if you couldn't. Will look into perineal massage and that book as well.