Labour

[SLR1906]

Im a FTM and due to give birth in October, i obviously have a few worries like the pain and having a csection or assisted delivery etc.. im also worried about how long it will go on for!

Can you all tell me what the worst part of your labour was please?

Thank you

The contractions were the worst for me. I was also put on a drip which made them more painful - oxytocin I think? As soon as I had the epidural was all good and couldn't feel a thing!

Try not to worry about it until it is happening! As long as you have an idea of what kind of pain relief you want, if any at all. It's something that you can't predict what is going to happen so it's not good to stress yourself out about it!

For me three days and I never got to the pushing stage so had an EMCS. I know people who have first babies within 6 hours. It is so very variable.

I don't think people telling you their worst part will help as it might bear no relation to what you experience and will likely just worry you.

The best thing to do is to be well informed about your hospital and the individual choices which might be available in each scenario. You can have a birth plan and think about how you might nudge your birth in ways you prefer so you might like water or hypnobirthing or to use a ball or essential oils or you might be happy with pethidine having read up about it or you may be open to an epidural. Don't be fixed on a plan though as you really don't have any control of absolute specifics but remember that even if you have a caesarean, you can still have some degree of preference like screens lowered at point of delivery, immediate skin to skin, finding out the sex for yourself and so on.

Do you have any specific questions about elements of labour because there's a lot of experience on here?

Worst thing with my first was being in slow / pre labour for DAYS before hand.

Established labour was 12 hours. Very tiring. I had gas and air, then pethidine. Baby weighed 7lb 9. No stitches.

Fwiw my second was harder. My third a walk in the park. Fourth was harder than third as back to back but only 5 hours.

I found contractions bearable but HATED pushing, but had no drugs so felt it all. That was my choice though and honestly felt fine once DD was out. I remember thinking, that wasn’t as bad as I thought and I could do that again (and will be in October, as well).
Latent labour was long for me. On off contractions over night for 2-3 nights before the birth and a good 10-12 hours at home. Active labour was only 4 hours and I pushed for 2. DD was back to back though, which usually makes things take longer.
I think it’s normal to be afraid and you just need to learn about what happens in labour and how you feel about various things (pain relief, interventions, etc). I really wanted to avoid interventions and felt not having an epidural would help with that goal, however I realised I might not be able to cope with the pain so didn’t rule it out. Just be flexible; have preferred options but understand things might need to change!

Ask about good stuff too and listen to positive stories. First births aren’t always difficult and full of interventions!

@showofhands is 100% right. Other people's experiences mean nothing to you because they are not you and will not predict your labour.

Read what you can, be open to change, and have faith that your body and the medical staff know what to do. Expectations only lead to disappointment.

No experience is the same at all, however, since you asked, after was the worst bit for me, particularly recovering from stitches. I was lying on a camp bed in the living room for over a week and DP had to help me to the loo, bath etc. I was in pre labour for days and had to be induced with only gas and air, and then they had to make me have contractions after I gave birth to get a lot of blood clots from my womb. That really hurt. My friend, however, was in labour for two hours first time and said it didn't hurt when she actually gave birth, just goes to show how different it is for everyone.

blue that sounds horrid

Think i have been fairly lucky tbh. I would go as far as to say i prefer labour to pregnancy. I really suffer in pregnancy.

I was the opposite to tilliebean I actually found the pushing the easiest bit (disclaimer, both times that part was fairly quick) because it felt productive, I knew it was nearly the end and it was easier to focus. The worst bits now have kind of blurred. Actually the worst bit the second time was being stitched up. I laboured just using a tens machine and the pool but cried when I was being stitched and used the gas and air!

I didn't mean to cause any upset, I was just sharing my experience; as I said, my friend was in active labour for two hours, had no pain relief and said it didn't really hurt so it's impossible to say what it'll be like for someone

Pregnancy. The worst part was pregnancy.

The last push was worst as I was convinced my vagina had been completely destroyed.

It wasn't - I had basically the equivalent of a paper cut in the vag.

It was a very fast Labour with no time for drugs apart from gas and air.

You'll be grand. If I can do it anyone can I'm a massive wimp.

Thanks everyone.

Dont get me wrong i know everyones labour is different and its probably going to hurt like mad but i just wanted to know what the worst part was for each lady. Knowledge is power and i would rather feel informed about everything that could happen just in case.

Its not going to freak me out and i want to thank you all for being honest!

Worst part definitely the contractions once in established labour which lasted about five hours - probably not helped that I didn’t have much pain relief. Gas and air didn't really pretty provide pain relief for me but just made me feel really weird - almost drunk like feeling. So if you’re worried about the pain best to research other pain relief options for you usually epidural not available in midwife led units.

The latent phase was painful too but manageable at home and I’m glad I stayed at home where I was more comfortable.

The pushing stage itself wasn’t too bad even just on gas an air - stings a little bit but not for long. However, like other posters have said everyone has a different experience - best advice would be not to worry about it too much which I know is a crappy thing to hear. But speak to your midwife as much as possible and look into hypnobirthing - I didn’t but but wish I had as think it would have helped me control my breathing in between contractions.

Good luck and best wishes 🙂

The bit just before pushing, and the first bit of pushing - the later pushing was more painful but because I could feel baby moving down an out it also felt productive and so not as bad, if that makes sense? But I didn't have a long latent phase and dilated quite quickly, plus my waters didn't break until very late and I've heard it can be more painful once your waters go.
I was the opposite to above poster and had gas and air for contractions but threw it on the floor for pushing - for me it didn't feel like it did anything but helped me to really focus on breathing through contractions.
Good luck!