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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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9 replies

CantThinkOfNameOops · 06/05/2018 17:15

Hi, in about 5 weeks I'll be having dc2. Due to dh's work he won't be in the country at the time of the birth (unless baby is really early or really late) and can't get out of it. So my mum is going to be my birth partner.
Dh doesn't want any visitors coming to the hospital or to the house until he can come back and spend time with us himself which is fair enough so we've told our families and friends that we don't want any visitors.
With ds1 my in-laws turned up at the hospital unannounced and hogged the baby. They then turned up the the second visiting hour that day as well as my parents and crowded around the baby the whole time and it was all stressful and overwhelming. People then kept coming to the house and staying for hours for the first few weeks (mainly mil who kept nagging to babysit). So we didn't get time together as a family really.
Anyway, mil is angry about the no visitors rule and because of the way she is I really think she will come to the hospital anyway.

Just wondering if anyone had a no visitors rule that didn't go down well and what did you do about it?

OP posts:
MyNameIsTotoro · 07/05/2018 08:45

Your in laws would be increadibly mean to disregard their sons views on this.

Has he spoken about it to them directly? How long will he be away for?

If they turned up, I'd just turn them away. You are under no obligation to tell them you're at the hospital/ given birth. They can pout all they like but if they've previously ignored your boundaries then they need to learn that there are consequences to their actions.

jusdepamplemousse · 07/05/2018 08:48

Just don’t tell them you’re there.

Aprilmightbemynewname · 07/05/2018 08:49

Tell the hospital that you don't want visitors. They are very good bouncers ime!!

CantThinkOfNameOops · 07/05/2018 08:58

yes he's spoken to them and they know why he doesn't want them there. He wasn't horrible about it either

OP posts:
CantThinkOfNameOops · 07/05/2018 08:59

He'll be away for almost 2 weeks

OP posts:
yellowmellw · 07/05/2018 17:37

I understand where your dp is coming from but at the same time he expects you to stay in the house for a full 2 weeks without help and support aswell as visitors is totally unreasonable.

It's very strange really if he was away one day or so fair enough but 2 weeks is a bit of a joke.

yellowmellw · 07/05/2018 17:38

You are having to deal with having a child yet he also expects you do the deal with the fallout of people calling and you being rude and ignoring them etc etc. He sounds really self centred

melissasummerfield · 07/05/2018 17:41

I think your dh is being selfish and im suprised you are going along with it tbh.

Aprilmightbemynewname · 07/05/2018 19:00

Your dc won't know that df hasn't seen him /her . It's you that will feel the effects of being isolated.
He must have known the risks of missing out surely?

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