Feeling lonely

[MammyK26]

36 weeks with baby no2 and I've honestly never felt as lonely or unwanted. I'm married but hubby works alot. I went on maternity early due to nature of job. I do have family but they just don't seem to care for me. I text my mum this week after not seeing/hearing from her in about 3 weeks to say I wasn't feeling my best and she replied saying hope you feel better soon. That was it. That was 4 days ago not had a text or anything since to check if I'm ok. Other family don't really bother with us, its always me that visits them.
My friends even though all mums themselves seem to have forgotten about me. Don't visit, I don't really get invited anywhere as it's all alcohol related, not even a message to check how I'm feeling or anything. They are able to plan nights out and weekends away but choose not to even speak to me now really. Most days I do the school run then from 9 - 3 I'm alone over thinking, getting upset, panicking about having a baby depend on me very soon again. My eldest child keeps me going. Some days he is the only person I talk to. I feel such guilt already that I feel like this. My hubby is the only one who knows how I'm feeling but not the full extent as I don't want to burden him. As he left for his night shift tonight I hugged him and didn't want to let go. As soon as he was out the door the tears rolled down my cheeks. The tears turned into sobbing and now I just feel crap. I just don't know how in a world full of people I feel as if not one single person has time for me. I've never been the needy type, I've always been so strong and independant but I've crumbled big time. Will this pass? Has anyone ever felt like this?

I am so sorry that you feel so low, but with everything that's going on, I don't think that it's surprising and trust me, you definitely, definitely are not the only person who has felt, and is feeling like this. Have you tried speaking to your midwife about it? Mine was always really friendly and always found time if I needed to speak to her. Are there any groups near to you for expectant mums you could join, or maybe use MASH (a friend of mine met loads of similar mums through it.) sometimes when I feel lonely, just getting out of the house and having a chat with another adult makes a HUGE difference. All the best with it, this will pass but it sounds like you're going through a rough time at the moment.

oh hun, so sorry you feel that way x it will get better, you're not alone, maybe it's just a phase?
Please stay positive xoxo

I often feel lonely. Single mum with 2DCs. I see friends and I'm dating, I work about 24 hours a week, but still feel it. Rather than trying to fight it I have to know it's there and right now won't go away.

Can you acknowledge that you feel this way and that people feel lonely for different reasons? What I mean is that rather than fight it, try to stay calm and go with life for a bit. Focus on small goals.

How are you doing OP?

Oh sorry I have not replied earlier. It's so lovely of you to check on me.
Things are just the same really, nothing has changed.
I'm not one for opening up, I know I should but I couldn't go to a midwife appointment and tell her I feel lonely. It leads to the whole depression thing and I really don't want to go down that route.

Also, I know why I'm lonely. I'm off work, hubby works long hours, I don't really have a close family and the friends I do have/had have their own lives..kids,partners, jobs,social life. It isn't going to go away is it. It upsets me so much that when I'm at my most vulnerable nobody seems to care. I've also suffered from anxiety in the past and I can feel that coming back. Hoping my new baby gives me a whole new focus

Babies can only help if you are in a receptive mood to meet new people. By this I mean look at every baby / library group around, make yourself go regularly and be prepared to start conversations. Sometimes you meet people who don't like you or you don't like them, but you only need to meet one or two to feel better. Several of my closest friends now were formed through parent and baby groups over 12 years ago (when eldest DC was baby).
As I said before, I still get lonely (crave adult attention at times), but as DCs get older they become company and making new friends helps.
You have to talk in groups or you won't meet new people. The people running the groups are often good to chat to at first too.

Sorry - when baby is born groups will be good. I thought you had just had DC2 x

What about trying something like pregnancy yoga or aquanatal? I think a lot of women feel like this when they go on maternity leave, I know I did! I worked long hours and when I stopped I really struggled to fill the time. If you find other women due around the same time as you I bet they will be keen to meet up and stay in touch

I could have written your post! Definitely not alone in feeling like this. My husband also works long hours and I don’t have a huge circle of friends, just a handful who don’t live local. I’m finding myself getting more and more down as I have endless days to fill. Some of my family I’ve not seen since before Christmas and they rarely check in to see if I’m ok. Hubbys family aren’t local and live a good few hours away, but this pregnancy has also collided with both of our sisters having crisis. As everybody has been busying rallying around them, listening to their concerns, I’ve felt it’s left me with nobody talk to and there have been times when I’ve really needed to talk to somebody. I did raise it with my midwife who said it was normal. My hubby did speak to his mum as he’s been worried but calls are usually very short and scheduled around everything else she has going on. I’m stressing how I’m now going to cope with a newborn and being in this same situation. It’s not a great place to be so I can really empathise OP.

@thumbelina03 hope you are okay x

I was in the same boat and I was a bit strange and went to toddler groups and chatted with my bump. It actually really helped once baby had arrived that I already knew some people.

I had a bit of a meltdown last night with hubby, I think namely because I’d been stuck indoors all day with absolutely nothing to do. We’re also currently in a tiny flat as we’re due to move in August to a house, providing it all goes through. My MIL also rang yesterday and I tried to tell her how I was feeling until her mobile phone rang and it was hubbys sister so she ended the call with me. We’ve also finished our NCT classes and I suppose I had been expecting more from the sessions in terms of friendships if that makes sense. I know it’s about reaching out to people and putting yourself out there but I’m also quite shy and worried if I suggest coffee etc it will fall on deaf ears.