Tearing: first vs subsequent babies

[Blondemother]

If you have given birth more than once, was there a difference in terms of tearing?

If you tear with the first baby is it likely to happen again or be easier on your body second time round?
If you escaped intact with the first baby did the second do more damage?!

Keen to hear your experiences

1st - 2nd degree tear, offered choice re stitches and I declined (didn’t want anything else happening down there at that moment). Made to give birth in a reclined position after a v long labour ending in slightly awkwardly positioned baby coming out quickly- and I distinctly remember being told to stop bucking in pain as I was going to tear...

2nd baby - no tear. Gave birth in water. Baby shot out. I felt a million times better. Plus better position etc and no one telling me to push..

did perineal massage from 34 weeks every evening so that defo helped
If it helped you that’s great. But it’s definitely not the be all and end all. Did diddly squat for me.

My second birth was the worst. Afterwards the midwife called the registrar as it wasn’t a ‘simple repair’ (wtf???).
When the registrar arrived they stood there looking at the mess for a while. My midwife said ‘I just don’t know where this bit goes’. The registrar shook her head and slowly said... ‘no...’ then got some scissors, cut it, poked me, then said brightly. Let’s just put it there.
Great bedside manner....

A good Midwife coaching can often avoid tears. They don’t do it often enough in my experience. And if you’ve a water birth nobody can see to coach so you can’t control whether you tear or not.

Oh newmumwithquestions that sounds bloody awful I hope all is well now

Thanks @blondemother. Sadly I doubt it will ever be quite the same!

I just wish this part of postnatal health was discussed more.

My children are more than worth it. Luckily.

I did with all three of mine however 3rd child was a water birth which was much better and would highly recommend- she came out with her hand by her head and midwife said has it not been for this I would have been okay!

@newmumwithquestions sorry you had a bad experience. Birthing environment and position can also have an impact on tearing, as well as directed pushing. I've looked after women who have torn even though I've tried everything to prevent tear, sometimes they just happen.