Wwyd? C-section or try again after 2 forceps?

[DaisyTrain]

I’m currently 32 weeks with DC3 and more confused than ever after inconclusive meeting with consultant this week.

DC1 - in labour for 2 days, partly induced after failure to progress, finally forceps birth leading to severe 3rd degree tear. Sphincter damaged. Baby fine. Left hospital on a cocktail of drugs, couldn’t walk for a month, fairly traumatic start to parenthood.

DC2 - in labour for 18 hours. Back to back. Excruciating pain. Dilated okay this time, but baby wouldn’t come out. Forceps. No injury to me. (Episiotomy) Baby left with cut just under eye which became infected. I developed ptsd.

I had asked about csec for DC2, but consultant had said not needed. My (irritating) community midwife had told me repeatedly that a nice natural birth would probably be a “healing process”. (This massively contributed to the ptsd)

Now (after a long gap) pregnant with DC3. My v supportive GP, who has helped me since the depths of my ptsd, promised before I got pg that I could have a csec. My new (and much better, more realistic) community midwife has been incredible supportive of csec.

But now I’m wobbling. Consultant seems to think I might be able to manage a natural birth, which obv has far less risks and hopefully quick recovery time. (Esp important with older children, school runs etc)

So what would you do?

Am I stupid to consider the natural option? (Consultant said it may end in forceps again, but she said she can’t find a reason in my notes for it to. In other words, the last 2 awful births were a coincidence, rather than because of a physiological reason).

I don’t give a toss about ‘healing process’, natural birth. I want to choose the outcome which has the highest chance of me and the baby surviving.

Thank you if you’ve read this essay. Any thoughts?

My thoroughly pleasant and predictable, calm, planned C-section was my healing process.

I had one traumatic delivery, fetal distress, forceps, episiotomy, 3rd degree tear and then some ptsd. Horrible. I am fully recovered in every aspect and there was simply no way I was putting my body or my mind through it again.

I opted for a CS. Best thing I ever did. Recovery was fine. Textbook. They give you great pain relief. I was uncomfortable and in pain if I moved awkwardly for a few days, after that, I wasn't in pain at all unless I forgot my paracetamol. Two weeks after, I was in no pain at all and didn't need any painkillers. Driving after 4 weeks. Picking baby up fine from day 3.

How old are your eldest? My DH took a month off work to help with school runs etc. That was more than enough. I could have managed after 3, but I wouldn't have been able to drive.

After 1 month I was more than fine. Struggled for a week to lift the car seat out the car and into the buggy (so I didn't) and couldn't pick my 3.5y/on until at least 6/8 weeks. Struggled to empty yhr dishwasher and use washing machine until about 6 weeks too because of the bending and stretching. I could bend and stretch but not repeatedly iykwim.

I say go for it. 100% recommend it.

I had that rush of love, and pride and amazement that I didn't have with DS1 because I was just so exhausted and traumatised. I was calm, well rested and incredibly well looked after.

Similar story. Dc3 was a CS after two difficult deliveries. Can’t recommend more highly - for me the recovery was far far easier.

I had a horrible birth with ds 1, forceps, year, ptsd. It took me 6 years to comntemplate having another baby and I have opted for c section this time. I feel much better about the pregnancy.

I would have a planned c section in your position

The likelihood is that unless this baby is back-to-back in labour, you'd be able to have a vaginal delivery.
But, in your shoes (especially given the ptsd), I'd go for a nice planned cs.

I had a similar horrific birth to your first. I had an ELCS with my DD, it put right a lot of the wrongs of my first delivery, it was wonderful and I would thoroughly recommend it.

Didn't you get the memo OP? Bit of whale song on loop and a few scented candles and you'll be fine ..... I'd go for a C sec, I'm considering a second (would dc 3) . Dc1 was forceps and as you describe. emergency C section was manageable. if anyone were to suggest I attempted an unassisted birth after my previous experience I'd be insisting on the grounds of birth phobia for a c sec and I'm not sure I'd be exaggerating

Planned c section without a shadow of a doubt.

Gosh, sounds like you've had a hideous time of it. My first birth wasn't as traumatic as either of yours but still pretty miserable, and I had an emergency section second time around. It was calm, easy and quick. I also didn't find the recovery half as bad as often reported, in fact it was easier than my 'natural' birth. If there is a next time I've already decided to go for the section, no question. Good luck whatever you decide.

Not my own story but my close friend was in a similar position and had a c-section, she was very happy and seemed to have a better start to motherhood psychologically from what I saw. Personally I would too (and I’m someone who’s had vaginal births for all with no issue, I’ve no agenda, it’s just an honest opinion in recognition of how traumatic it must have been. I feel for you, don’t beat yourself up over choosing a predicable and safe route this time. You’ve had a really rough ride and going through it again would be hellish, why even risk it

I would opt for the planned c section in your position OP. Congratulations on your pregnancy

Wow, that’s pretty conclusive then? Seems nearly everyone thinks I should go for the section. My consultant asked me what was the worst possible outcome and I said dying. Is that the ptsd talking then? I’m convinced I’ll die in the op theatre or postnatally because they’re so understaffed.

Last time I arrived at the maternity hospital at midnight in labour and had to have police escort to the door because of a domestic situation between some poor labouring woman and her boyfriend. It was not the best start. The idea of arriving calmly in daylight hours is appealing...

I would absolutely opt for a planned c section.
I had a horrendous birth with my ds- forceps, ptsd, unable to walk properly for a couple of weeks. Thought I could never do it again until I accidentally got pregnant five years later with dd. I requested a c section and had to go though therapy sessions at the hospital. The c section was the best decision I ever made. It was a calm, happy experience and I was only in hospital for 36 hours. Able to drive within a few weeks and no problems healing.
Please bear in mind that they always try to make you have natural births as c sections are extremely costly to the NHS X

C-section

C section.

Def go for the cs! I had similar experience to your births - long labour that didn’t progress, syntocinin drip, back to back very large baby, failed epidural, failed ventouse and then emergency forceps, episiotomy, extended tear with no pain relief (oh my god the pain!) followed by a massive haemorrhage. The entire experience was horribly traumatic and took me more than 6 months to get over the physical pain and mental trauma. I still have some ongoing issues. 2nd time round the midwife team were all, “it won’t happen again” (with no explanation of how they knew this) but luckily I had an amazing consultant that recommended I have a cs, he said the likelihood is given that my baby was already measuring large and given the difficulties I had last time there was a very good chance I would have problems delivering naturally without assistance.

The planned cs was amazing! So calm and straightforward. It was way less painful after and took far less time in terms of recovery. Plus I was in a much better position mentally to look after a newborn baby and toddler.

I'm really sorry to hear of your experiences. Do you have help from family? Because if yes, I would go C-section too, in those circumstances. I have only had 1 DC and the actual birth went well but the bit after did not. So I understand why you feel this way and that's why I would also consider a planned CS. I would do a lot of reading up on recovery and get a lot of help (I'd be shameless!). The women I know who've had emergency (or not) CS, have done much better when surrounded by help. Good luck OP

Section - no doubt at all. You need to protect your pelvic floor and have a predictable experience. (I've had a vag del and a section )

Planned section. I had a failed mid pelvis forceps attempt before my emcs with ds. The bruising from that hurt more than the section wound. I could walk absolutely fine within 24 hours including stairs but I couldn't sit comfortably for about a week.

I'd take surgery over the chance of anyone coming near my vagina with forceps ever again (and it was only bruising, no cuts or tears).

Thank you so much for all your opinions and experiences. And I’m so sorry that lots of you have been through similar.

I’m going to read through all these comments and have a serious think.

In the circumstances, I'd have zero interest in attempting a vaginal birth.

I had a similar experience as your first except I wasn't induced, forceps delivery and 3rd degree tear with sphincter damage. Plus after all that I ended up in theatre anyway due to a retained placenta! I've already said that if I fall pregnant again I will be opting for a c-section! Obviously not an easy decision to make and very nervous about this but I don't want to be left with life long problems with my pelvic floor! Well done for having a natural delivery again with your second and good luck with whatever decision you make with your third :)