Please help.. Huge twinges and I'm kinda scared

[Forevertired19]

I gave birth to dd 11 months ago and I'm due ds next week. I'm terrified to say the least. I nearly had to be emergency c sectioned with dd due to us both being tired. But I managed to push through but I remember the pain. It was agony.

So I'm getting really nervous for some reason. Perhaps I don't feel as prepared and I'm worried about leaving dd alone as it's the first time she will be away from us. I'm worried because having dd triggered RA for me and I'm crippled to say the least now and feel like I have no strength anymore.
I know it's going to happen and I know I need to calm down and that everything will be okay. But I just can't seem to. I'm having anxiety attacks about it now, especially if it happens in the night and my mom will be asleep and not awake to come for dd (we don't drive). I'm worried the labour will be really quick and he will be born at home. I'm just scared especially not he's pushing down and it's getting really really painful. Any advice?

I also want to add. I'm bordering on anemic and I'm terrified how it'll affect labour now.

I had an epidural with my first and it was great - I didn't have one for my other two but it helped to know I could use that if the pain got too much, could that be an option for you?

Can you think of anyone who would make you feel safer? I know it’s an expense but I spent £600 on a private midwife to come with me as it helped me feel safe (I do think it’s really helpful to labour to keep as calm and unafraid as possible, but this is really hard on your own).
Mine said things like don’t be afraid of the pain but picture it as a wave and a good thing and taking you to your destination! But I really trusted her and I think you need someone to help and reassure you as our bodies are amazing and I didn’t exactly enjoy the pain but it certainly didn’t scare me and was a million times worth it!

And yes to the epidural idea - that can be really reassuring too to know they can help the pain if you need them to!

I did have one with dd but I had it at 8cm. But the pain building up was horrific. I didn't scream or anything but from memory I just kept trying to black out on gas and Air. Their dad (not really dp anymore) is really good in these sorts of situations with me. He's calm and knows how to handle my anxiety to make me comfortable and he will be there but I'm just so worried and I'm not overly sure what's worrying me the most