Tokophobia birth options

[Confusedaboutbirth18]

Just going to test name change.....

I am pregnant and have tokophobia, its mainly around control and bodily autonomy due to a past experience (which I mentioned in my past thread about this)

I'm having real issues working out what to do for the best, I have no doubt I could get an ELCS but no one actually WANTS major surgery I'm sure, its a need not a want. What I would love is to try for a waterbirth but then if for any reason they aren't happy I would be given the CS, taking away any risk of any other intervention so maybe I'd be able to relax enough to let labour progress (without this I know I would be too stressed to relax enough and would end up putting the baby in distress which is obviously not what I want). Is this something that I might be able to get agreement to? Or would this be seen as me being not 100% commited to a CS?

You don’t go from a waterbirth to a section unless baby is stuck or in distress, if you weren’t labouring in the water they get you out and have you labour either on the bed or a birthing ball or by walking. What exactly is it your trying to get an agreement on a section or a water birth or both? It’s usually one or the other

I think the difficultly with attempting a water birth first then opting for csec is not a problem in terms of a plan, but may be a problem with timing of your birth (which you can't predict).

What I mean is that you can refuse to consent to ventous or forceps and this is your right to do so. But you can't be sure theatre will be ready for you in theatre at any time. So even if they say yes let's do a csec now, you may have to wait (and that may force you to consider another intervention if you baby shows any signs of distress).

For example, with dd1 I attempted a water birth, it didn't work out so I got out of the pool to go down to theatre. But it was a long 2hr+ wait before I was in theatre as another Emergency came in at the same time.

On balance I would suggest a planned csec for you. Water births are great (had one which all went to plan for dd2) but birth is very unpredictable, and your phobia sounds like uncertainty would be challenging for you.

Thats what I though, thank you milkjetmum I just want the safest and best option for us both.

The uncertainty is a major issue and the idea that in theory I can refuse other intervention but they will push it hard in the moment.

Thats clarified my thinking, thank you again

I think I agree with pp, the uncertainty and fear around intervention suggests that c section would be better. It's fine to say I want to refuse intervention, but if it's a two hour wait for a theatre space and the baby is in danger of dying, what then? I would say it would be better to know exactly what's going to happen with the c section, and not have the worry of 'What if'.

Good luck, I hope it goes well.

OK I definately wouldn't want to put babys life in danger!!! I just wanted to make sure I had explored all options before going straight to a CS

Thank you all

Of course you wouldn't. It's a really difficult thing to balance imo, the idea of female bodily autonomy and consent, and the fact that childbirth is dangerous and non-action, or delayed action, can cause death or serious injury to the baby and or mother. And that's for all women- when you add in your specific past trauma it amplifies that difficulty massively. I really feel for you op. I hope you are able to make a decision you are happy with.