Second baby after 4th degree tear with 1st

[Ladyglittersparkles83]

Hello
Just after some experiences really I had a 4th degree tear with my first born 7 years ago he weighed 8lb 4oz, due 2nd any day now has anyone gone on to have a positive second experience or have torn again?. This baby is estimate 8lb 8oz at today's scan and dr has agreed to let me go naturally I've opted to be cut if necessary , has anyone gone to deliver 2nd time and not torn? Thanks

I had a 3rd degree tear with my son 18 months ago and due in a few weeks with my second! So watching your post...

I've noticed a lot of advertising for the expert midwife products and I gave in and bought the spritz for bits spray which according to reviews a lot find it amazing, so it's in my hospital bag hope it's as good as they say

@Ladyglittersparkles83 just absolutely listen to the midwife when she says 'stop pushing'. many women have much bigger babies and don't tare, but it's about that final stage where the head needs to come out a bit, then go back in again, to stretch the area. Do your perineum massage every day after a bath too aswell, but honestly every midwife I've ever spoken to about this issue says its about that final stage and controlling the baby coming out as much as possible. push when told, stop when told to stop ect.

good luck

I absolutely agree with the above, I've had 3 children, smallest 9lb 5oz biggest 10lb 4oz and not even a graze. Listened to my midwife and did exactly as she said ans I credit this as to why. Good luck OP

@Psychobabble123 me too, and I was very young and it was my first. Not even a graze. All down to probably being scared/very obedient and absolutely doing word for word what those amazing two midwives told me through every stage basically.

I actually remember one saying 'if you push now you will tare badly' best sentence i ever heard and obeyed in my life!

That final stage, all going well with how the babies coming out, is essential to be guided through and to be calm as you can, listening to everything they tell you. My friend at that point 'just wanted the baby out' so kept pushing...3rd degree tare.

Being relaxed is really important to be able to do this so don't rule out pain relief in the earlier stages so you are better rested and more relaxed/receptive when that final stage comes. My midwife center is very encouraging of women who request pethadine for example as they say it totally relaxes you, (some women even have a snooze break) before the pushing stage. Obviously it has a very long half life though as a drug so that is a consideration too.

All the best op, it will definitely not be as bad as last time, rest assured

My biggest was nearly 10lb and I didn't tear.

Listen to the mw. If she says don't push then don't do it.

I needed emergency surgery to correct everything as I tore so bad with my first.

Currently pregnant with my 4th!

My baby came out in 5mins flat, I controlled the head perfectly but unfortunately DS’s shoulders had other ideas. I had a 3B tear with a 10lb baby

I had 1 episiotomy and 2 tears on my first 3 babies. I thought the scars would make me more likely to tear but I just had DC#4 who was 9lb 3oz and had no tear.

The difference is that I listened to my midwife coaching the delivery. Ask for coaching and then do what she says!

I had a bad 3rd degree tear with my first as the midwife was busy doing paperwork and rather than paying attention, just said "you'll be pushing for ages yet" so I gave one really big push and he shot out.
The next time, I listened to my body and let it do the work. I didn't actively push at all. Not a graze.
There's far less fear the 2nd time round so you relax more.

You can write on your notes op in the birth plan section that you want 'coaching' closely through the pushing stage of labour