What do I do with my 2 yo when 'it's time'

[Alibongo37]

Hi
We have no family in London and wondered if anyone else had been in a similar situation when giving birth. I have a 2 year old. Do I just take her to the hospital with us? I can't figure what the alternative would be, because it could happen in the middle of the night. Not like we can 'plan' for this really!

Similar situation here - no family in London. We ended up being induced at 38 weeks for reduced movements and as soon as we knew that was what would happen we booked a flight for my mum to come over from ireland the next day. If we had needed to wait for natural labour then we had planned to bring my MIL over at 39 weeks and she would have stayed until the birth.

You need childcare for them, she definitely can't go with you. Worst case you'd go to the hospital alone while she stayed with your partner

If you can't arrange a sitter then you go, and your OH stays home with your daughter. She will not be allowed into delivery suite/MLU and for very good reason. She would be scared by seeing you in distress. I've given birth on my own and it was absolutely fine

I have done this for a friend and she is about to do the same for us - is there no one you can consider asking? You might be surprised by who would offer, Ive had a number of colleagues offer their services in case of a middle of the night run.

I also think In London there are agencies who you can put on retainer especially for this reason and they will come at v short notice. I have a similar issue but we are abroad and service isn’t offered.

I’ve been told to bring DD to hospital with DH for him to mind her there, and arrange for friend to collect from there asap (but that is partly because I had a very quick labour with DD so they don’t want me hanging around at home)

She can't go with you, if there's no one else your partner will have to stay at home with her. For our second I had an emergency c section and we couldn't get the childcare quick enough so I did it by myself. It was fine.

I would look into who you could ask to come and stay with her. A friend? A babysitter? You may want to look into a nanny agency or something now to start to feel out what your options may be. Could family members be close enough to rush to relieve you?

We are in a similar situation. We have a 5 yr old and I'm due at any moment (literally, at any moment) with our 2nd. Our first was a home birth and this is a planned home birth too. Assuming all goes fine, then we won't need any help really as we'll all just be at home and get on with it. But if there was an emergency, we would need to get to hospital urgently and there wouldn't be time to call friends or family. Our closest family is 2 hours away. Local friends all have small children (so couldn't just appear in the middle of the night to help) or they have complicated work schedules (teachers, nurses, etc.) and we couldn't ask them to take off.

If you have family reasonably close (less than 2-3 hours), it's entirely possible they could come to you. Even when you go into labour, it's rare the baby just falls out that fast (though obviously, depending on how fast your first was!). In our case, we really needed someone who could be here within 30 minutes given the nature of a hospital transfer, so that wasn't an option. I've hired a doula to support me, but she will also be here to support my dd if I need her to be so my dh can come to hospital with me. That's worked for us. It's not an inexpensive option though. If you have a nanny agency or something similar that could work with you to provide someone urgently, that might work out to be better. Unfortunately for us, our only real option was to pay someone as we just couldn't rely 100% on anyone else.

We had no family around and didn’t feel we could impose on friends (all childless at the time and worked in jobs with shift work/long hours). So we made an arrangement with one of the workers in the daycare our child was in at the time. If it happened of a day then all good as they were at childcare anyway and the carer would just take them home with them overnight, bring them with them the next day and DH would pick up as usual. If it occurred after hours we would drop them at carer’s house on way to hospital (5mn detour). It was win/win as we paid the carer for minding them and they were grateful for the extra $$ and our 2yo was happy as they were with the carer they spent all day with at daycare.

Leave them with a friend or your husband stays behind to care for your child. Could a family member not come and stay either with you or in a travelodge nearby?

does she go to nursery? An eyp I worked woth did this during the night then brought her to nursery the next day until relatives could get there as they had a way to travel.

Thanks. We do have someone who is a 2 hour drive away. So that would be our best bet then I guess. I've no idea how it happens as I was induced first time round. So if it's not a case of waking up at 3am, waters breaking with the baby nearly here, then that's fine, I'll call them.

I couldn't leave her with a stranger. She's never been left with a random babysitter before. That would stress me out!

Thanks everyone.

Sometimes you do have to take them with you and I've looked after women before who've had to bring an older child with them until the babysitter can get there, for instance (like if it happens fast, and you're on your own with your child, take the child with you to hospital and arrange for OH and babysitter to meet you there and then whoever gets there first can look after DD). Similarly if you go into normal speed labour and it's time to go to hospital, OH stays at home with DD until babysitter gets there and then you go off in a taxi.

I found out the other day that the reason my Dad nearly missed the birth of my brother because he was parking the car was because he stayed at home to wait for Granny to arrive to look after us, not because he was one of Those People who sent their wife in an ambulance and followed behind in the car (sorry Dad!).

Ali...Sympathies...I am in this sort of situation. My youngest dd is slightly older than yours though - 4, so I have managed to organise some wrap around care at one of the pre-schools that she attends during the day. Otherwise, I am dependent on a friend/neighbour to look after my girls, it is so stressful when there isn't a family member etc. who can be with you quickly. I think that as you're in London, there are slightly more options in regards to emergency childcare...but if you didn't want a stranger coming in then you would want your child acquainted with someone now (this can turn out to be costly). Hope you manage to come up with a solution shortly...I know how hard it is, you are not alone but it is worth making some preparations now, I know I felt a lot better once I had worked out a contingency plan.x

Thanks @Lavenderdays and @HanutaQueen
Everyone is so spaced out in london.... that's the problem, but at least the snow has gone now and transport has gone back to normal!