Wedding four weeks after due date?

[hopingandprayingthistime]

Am I likely to be able to attend?! Very close friend. I am in the bridal party. This is my first baby so I have no idea.

Just to add another view, I attended a family party 2 hours from home 4 weeks after my first (who was a day early). I also had a bad birth. We actually had a lovely time but I had all my family to hand who were happy to have a cuddle while I had a sit down. I was also FF so my H could do a share of the caring.
I would say back out of being a BM but see if she'll let you decide about attending once the baby is here. I'd say if she's a good friend she should understand but I've seen good friends fall out in a similar situation unfortunately!

Attend, yes, possibly for the ceremony and a bit of the breakfast and probably making an early departure, but only if local. 4 hours is probably quite far to go with a baby at that age. I mean, it's fine, but it would mean a weekend away and you may not be up for it. But I would decline being in the wedding party.

I have a friend getting married in October and she's asked me to be a bridesmaid (I've left it as an 'I'll have to let you know'). My 2nd will be 8 months by then and the wedding is overseas a long haul flight away (where she lives, so perfectly reasonable location for her). Even with an 8 month old baby, it's very likely I'll have to decline. My older one will be in school and my dh will have to stay with her, so I'd either have to take baby with me (alone on a 9 hour long haul flight, to a wedding where I am in the bridal party and have no childcare, totally impossible). Or I'd have to leave him (challenging if bf, but not totally impossible), but my dh would have to take time off work to be at home, because again, no childcare. Never mind the expense and the lost income, just the logistics of it with even a baby that age is more than I think I want to deal with. But if your friend is a good friend, she'll understand, as I know mine will. Better to be upfront about it as early as possible so she isn't caught out though.

You won't necessarily be late, it's in no way a given, but first babies are statistically more likely to be later. TBH it's the travelling more than anything. If it were a wedding round the corner I'd say odds are you could probably get there. Though not be a major participant.

Agree with @drwhy on the driving thing. Look up about young babies in car seats. Because they can't keep their head up well they shouldn't be in car seats for longer than 30 mins. Is there an alternative mode of transport?

In saying that I was a bridesmaid at 5 weeks post partum and it was great because I got my hair and make up done professionally and because breastfeeding hadn't worked we were almost 100% formula feeding by then so DP took control of the little one for most of the day. This also involved flying on a 1 hr flight. We were staying in the venue too so that made life easier. Baby was born 1 day before due date, so if you go late then that will be a consideration.

I did have a c section though so my under carriage had not been through a vaginal birth...

In some ways a young baby is much easier to go to thing with than a 3/4/5 month old.
For one thing, the newborn doesn’t care about it being loud or bright and will just want to feed and sleep and feed and sleep. A baby a few months older generally needs help sleeping (rocking and shushing or breastfeeding in dark) and will wake up with people being loud around them, they will get distracted by what’s going on so may not feed, they will perhaps get overwhelmed.
My baby was far from easy and we’d have had to leave at 6pm before the evening colic screaming started but before then it would have been easy, he would just have fed all day and slept on our laps, and we could have had a decent time. A few months later I felt housebound.
If you keep baby in a sling and wear something you can feed in easily, it’s doable.

Personally there is no way on this earth I would have been fit to go to a wedding 4 weeks after giving birth
But I genuinely felt like I had been hit by a truck for about two months!
I didn't expect to be so bad so it hit me hard mentally!
I wouldn't set yourself up for disappointment TBH!

My friend didn't come to my wedding (except for the service) and she had had her baby two months before. Baby was very much invited but she just couldn't face it and I completely understood! Put your needs and your baby's needs first.