On what grounds can you opt for elcs

[IsItSummerYet2018]

I haven't gone thro my plan yet with MW
But I'm so terrified of childbirth.. Even tho this is my second dc.
I can't explain why. As its a million things.
I suffer anxiety and the whole. Not. Knowing when it will happen naturally is a huge issue.. Working out childcare.. Or. Will dp make it home in time
Remembering the pain from the stitches before.
Being embarrassed sitting down in front of people in pain from stitches.. Thinking they know my foof is stitched (it's laughable but Im so paranoid)

I know this is the case for all mummy's I'm. Just trying to put into words x

I've struggled so much with anemia, tablets and liquid didn't work.. So had iron transfusion..hopefully that will help

I'm just so up in the air with everything as my sane mind says suck it up buttercup and my irrational mind is saying you can't do this.

Sorry for rambling.. But sat awake stressing

Could you say you are worried about your mental health and say you have tokophobia? I strongly believe woman should have the choice over thier bodies x

I know someone who gave birth on Tuesday that was insistent she wanted a section. No physical need. First baby. She’d been traumatised by being her sisters birthing partner about five years ago.

She was quite brave imo. There was a lot of sneering from midwives when the request was first made and I don’t know if I would have had the energy to push it through. But a consultant agreed to it in the end.

She’s now got her section and is home with her baby. She’s shocked how much it hurts and is struggling with the recovery. On balance, she’s still glad she had a section.

It is possible but it’s not the easy option.

I d

I don’t know what the grounds are you would need to show but you should do hypnobirthing to help with your anxiety. However you end up giving birth it will help give you confidence in yourself as being competent to be pregnant and give birth (ELCS is also a big undertaking). There’s no magical fix someone can wave over your head but hypnobirthing will help you help yourself and control your anxiety. Obviously panicking is massively counterproductive to a successful experience either way. A friend who convinced herself she had to have a c section then panicked when they gave her the local anaesthetic for that too and she had not done any preparation like meditation or even taking time to relax with spa music periodically so the midwife has to lend her her iPod so she could listen to some spa music to get her heart rate down as it was too high to operate.

It’s not difficult to develop ways to manage your anxiety (it’s basically just setting aside 30 minutes a few times a week to do breathing exercises and listen to music) but you do need to be logical about applying your time constructively rather than wallowing in the anxiety thinking about the birth.

Oops.
Does it help if you think that some of the people you're sitting down in front of have had their foofs stitched as well? You probably feel sympathy for them, not anything negative. As they do for you.

I had my two babies by section due to fear of birth, had no issues getting them. It made pregnancy so much less stressful. You are going to be worrying about this throughout the whole thing so save yourself the stress OP, for you and baby.

Forgot to add.. I know at the time it might feel like you maybe judged for it, and when you're in the middle of it it can all feel a huge deal, but remember how quickly time goes by... A few weeks after my section it was already becoming a distant memory, the midwives had already seen tons of women since me, and I was feeling immense relief that I had done it how I wanted and not had to go through birth. What I'm trying to say is... it's more important to get what you want when it comes to having a baby, it's your body. Who cares what anyone else thinks, you will be a faint memory to medical staff soon, family/friends will stop commenting on it (if they do already) but you are the one who will live with the injuries/trauma/psychological issues.

ermm - you do realise an ELCS costs the broken NHS twice as much as a normal delivery.
Are you really really sure you cannot cope with a normal birth.
EMCS is obviously differant as it is medically needed.

I don’t think that being anxious about other people knowing you have had stitches is a valid reason for the NHS to agree to expensive surgery rather than a natural delivery, no. Nor is not knowing when you might go into labour.

What has anaemia got to do with anything? You lose a lot of blood with a C/s too. You also have large numbers of very painful stitches.

You seem to viewing c/s as the easy pain-free option. It really isn’t.

I would just tell your midwife what you've told us and have an open and frank conversation with them about your options and what's available for you.

olliegarchy99 that's a bit harsh. With my first pregnancy I had a very fast natural breech birth which resulted in cord prolapse and a stay in NICU. This time the baby was transverse I was told mee consultant that I would be unable to deliver naturally as the risk of cord prolapse is so high. Fortunately three baby had turned so hopefully everything will go well otherwise I would have had a medically advised ELCS.

Please talk to someone IRL. Anxiety is a monster that makes everything much harder than it needs to be.

If you really want a lscs your mW should refer you to an obstetrician to discuss risks and benefits. This not a comparison with a vaginal birth which is a natural consequence of pregnancy (unless you have specific medical concerns) but discussion of the lscs itself.

Things to be aware of

A lscs comes with a set date but you may go into labour earlier than this date. If this happens the hospital will normally do your lscs as an emergency but you will still need some kind of emergency childcare just in case, and your partner may still not make it. In addition an elective lscs may be cancelled at the last minute if the hospital is unusually busy, in which case you are normally sent home to come back the next day.

There will be pain following lscs, if not during. It is different to the pain of perineal stitches but it is still there. Many women come on Mumsnet and say they were fine with a bit of paracetemol and ibuprofen, many others will still be struggling after three days or three weeks. Just as after vaginal delivery.

Most women lose more blood at a lscs than a vaginal delivery. The women may not realise this because the blood is neatly lost in theatre rather than on a delivery room floor.

I hope you get the best solution for you

olliegarchy99 my friend cost the NHS a lot more than an election for her home VB that went very very wrong. 4 operations, 3 years of therapy and thousands and thousands of pounds (all on the NHS) later and she still has a prolapse and pees herself if she laughs. It’s sexist and misogynistic to expect woman to get the cheaper option and to put up with it when it comes to childbirth.

IsItSummerYet
I have nothing much to add but to say that I am also experiencing high anxiety and this is my fourth pregnancy. I had a late loss previously at 22 weeks and I am putting some of it down to that but as you say the unpredictability of it all is something that is playing on my mind because I have two dc's that need to be cared for and no extended family. You are able to break down your concerns and I think this will make it easier to tackle each one whereas for me, it just started to cause me minor panic attacks and is more to do with a loss of confidence in my body to give birth. DH knows that he has to be contactable at work - get as many numbers as you can so that you can get a message through to your DH and remind your DH about the importance of being contactable. Draw up a plan of action for your dc's who will have them and when - I will be packing my dc's bags this weekend (I am 32+2 today) as they will have to be shipped out I think. I have also arranged wrap around care enabling a friend to pick up and drop off...then there are friends on weekend standby. I have hated having to ask for help as I am useless at it. Not sure how to tackle the pain issue but I did find that listening to a hypnobirthing cd certainly helped me cope better with dc2's birth. Yes, I do remember the pain of stitches, I want to say that it doesn't matter what others think but it does matter to you...are you bothered by any one person in particular thinking these thoughts about you? My anxiety seems to be at its worst during the night for some reason - sometimes I just wake up and start panicking, the breathlessness I am experiencing is not helping (there is no identifiable cause for this).
Wishing you all the best...just wanted you to know that you are not alone x

You are entitled to request a elcs in any grounds and to discuss it with your midwife and consultant. The consultant would have to feel that you fully understood all the pros and cons of the choice you are making. You won't be judged as such because your reasons are valid. You might feel that your MW or Dr are pushing you towards a particular choice purely because of their experience and knowledge. Read the NICE guidelines around this and discuss your anxieties with your doctor.

Thank you everyone for your support
Dp. Is easily contactable and can leave work at the drop of a hat.
As for childcare. It's hard because depending whether DSC is here. As to who can babysit. Certain days my mum works, other days dad works.,. They both live fairly close.
Inlaws is an option but would have to be dropped there due to their disability. That means driving past the hospital another half hour each way.. Which in theory would be ok if it was a slow labor lol

To be honest my head is all over the place about it all. I managed to keep semi calm about it all but now it's like Arghhhh lol

My bag etc is packed. Except snacks and drinks. But my hospital is strict on the amount of bags that go in. And they like to keep it to one.. That's already full of. Mine and baby's stuff. So dp will just buy stuff there to be honest to eat and drink. X

Yes my anxiety is worse at night, and the breathlessness.. Mines down to anemia which is why they rushed through an iron transfusion within 24 hours of my blood results.. It's helped a little but not massively but time. Will tell I suppose x

I don’t have much to add from a practical point of view but I’m in the same situation as you.

I found this book really helpful, you can buy It from eBay for a few quid and it provides you with an unbiased view of cs, emcs, natural vb and assisted vb

Caesarean Birth: A Positive Approach to Preparation and Recovery
0956848001
Leigh East

I’m using it to help plan my conversations with hcps

Good luck! :)