Anxiety about childbirth

[dlh90]

Hey everyone!

I'm new here :) but I just wanted to ask how everyone felt about childbirth? I know it's going to hurt, and everyone says we forget about it. But I'm newly pregnant and since I found out I just keep getting anxiety about the birth and I don't want it to take over my pregnancy.

I'm so happy we're having a baby. So any advice is amazing :)

Thanks

Lots of things that are worth the effort are painful and tough - it’s like all those other things.

You should definitely do hypnobirthing, it will help stop your anxiety makin the experience more painful and difficult.

The irony is the physical effects of anxiety make labour harder, longer and more painful, so it is worth getting some tools to keep yourself calm. That is what hypnobirthing does.

Thank you so much for the advice, I will definitely look into that as I really don't want this to take over my whole pregnancy.

It's pretty bad but I would do it again a million times over for DS.

I haven't forgotten the pain and I don't think I ever will, but I think my birth experience could have been improved very easily. I gave birth abroad and I wasn't listened to, I was made to labour on my back throughout and I missed my shot at an epidural.

Next time I would:
Research stages of labour so I had an idea what was going on
Move around a lot and labour on all fours of possible
Find a dr who listens and doesn't do things to me without asking first
Get an epidural quite early on

So those things would be my advice. Good luck OP and congratulations - it's more than worth it.

I second hypnobirthing! I was absolutely terrified of childbirth. Hypnobirthing completely changed my approach, and despite ending up with a pretty difficult labour and then c section, I felt very relaxed and in control. I have very warm memories of the experience, and I put it all down to hypnobirthing.

It will be fine, there’s an inevitability about it really once you get past the stage of no return! My best advice is to set things up so that it is flexible and if you change your mind about things like the type of pain relief you want then you can- so go somewhere you know epidurals can be done for example. I made that mistake- had I been able to have an epidural for my first labour it would have been much better as it went on for so long I was exhausted from the pain and unable to push effectively. Had an epidural for the second and it was ace. I also kept telling myself women do this everyday in war zones and in the middle of nowhere and get through it, so I could too

Terrified here too. Even more terrified when it actually started. I agree with researching everything that happens in childbirth. But nothing can fully explain it or prepare you. When it starts you will know.
The only advice I can give is to have the best person you can think of to be there with you. My dh was amazing I couldn't have done it without him. I remember panicking like crazy and dh did all the breathing to calm me down.
And as other people said the pain won't last forever and it is worth it a million times over.
And get drugs. Lots and lots of drugs

Childbirth is pretty subjective. Everybody reacts differently and no two birth stories are the same.
My advice, though, would be to look at Hypnobirthing to ease the anxiety, research your options for pain relief and be prepared to ask for them if you need them, there is no medal for going through childbirth without pain relief.
Try to keep as active as possible during labour, birthing in a more upright position let's gravity help you.
Most importantly, don't form any hard and fast rules in your birth plan - i.e. I WILL have a water birth, I WIlL NOT take pain relief. Think of your birth plan as a record of your preferences so that you can't be disappointed if your experience differs from that for whatever reason. I've got friends with older kids who are still upset that their birth differed from the plan.
I will say that it hurts, the odd thing about it is that during the contraction that feeling is all you can think about it. Once that eases you're back to normal - it's not like banging your thumb with a hammer that hurts constantly for ages, I was laughing and joking between contractions. Obviously, they get closer together and last longer so the respite gets less as you get nearer to delivery
but there's a baby at the end of it all so it's a productive pain.
Good luck!

Do an antenatal classes such as NCT if you can afford it or there are free ones at the hospital. It'll give you a chance to ask any questions and take a tour of the delivery unit to put your mind at rest. I found learning about the different types of pain relief useful.