A few weeks to go.. But just found notes from DS birth and now I'm more scared. Any advice?

[Alwaysconfused2018]

34 weeks and getting mega scared as I remember the tearing. But was never told the extent in discussion or whatever.. DS is now a teen so a while ago but my aftercare was horrendous anyway

So I remember gas and air making me vomit badly.
Which it states the anti sickness meds...

2nd degree perennial tear.
1 labia tear
1 vaginal tear

On DS notes says liquor stained meconium... Google says that can be a sign baby was distressed..

I was never told this.
And I was high risk dvt.

I'm now more than scared of a vaginal birth again now.. I know that everyone is..
But I remember the pain after and it's panicking me to the point I'm shaking

I suffer with anxiety anyway so prob don't help as not taking meds during pregnancy

I don't want to sound silly if mention to mw as nothing shecould do anyway.

Are you worried about tearing. I had a 2nd degree tear with dc1, bloody hurt for weeks after.

With dc2 i did perineum massage from 35 weeks. Also made a note to avoid being on my back if i had to give birth. The massage paid off and i had a minor 1st degree tear, no stitches. I couldnt feel any tear and i recovered down their a lot quicker.

They still wanted me on my back though when my waters broke with meconium stained liquor but gave birth on my side instead. Hth reassure you a bit. You will be fine.

Thank you it does. It's the tear that terrifies me. I had epidural with ds and wanted to avoid this time only because, last time they made me stay in hospital over night because of it. And they'd said if I didn't I'd of gone home
But as dp said you could havw no pain relief and still have to stay in for a diff reason you'll never know.

PS silly question what's perineum massage

It's OK Googled it

I think you should talk to your midwife and she can explain it all. A second degree tear is very common after a vaginal delivery (probably why they didn't say much about it, if it had been a more severe tear you would have had to have follow up etc) that isn't to say it wasn't horrible. Meconium at delivery often happens a lot as well, it isn't always a sign of distress and any complications with it are identified quickly after birth. I'm sorry you are feeling so anxious. Your midwife can help with that too. Try and get some sleep.

You can do perineum massage with olive oil i think but i purposely bought a massage oil from Boots. I had to get my partner to do it 3 to 4 times a week for a few minutes. Even my partner could see the difference in elasticity after massaging it.

Best of luck x

Two of my girls have had "heavy mec" which is more meconium in the waters than just staining. I was still able to give birth vaginally and they were fine. I just needed more monitoring with DD1 (the heartrate monitor on her head rather than around my tummy) but because DD3 came along a bit quicker once waters broke nothing changed. They were born crying and had good scores after birth.

A second degree tear sounds painful, but it may not happen again. A lot of it depends on baby's position. Have you looked at perineal massage (to start in the next few weeks at home?) I'm not convinced it does a lot - jury is out on that whenever research has been done - but it may help you control the anxiety if you're doing something constructive.

Have you done hypnobirthing? If not you absolutely need to start the self hypnosis mediatiations. Katharine Graves is the market leader and available on iTunes. Get into a routine of finding a calm quiet place, low lighting, listen to her meditations and then relax with some spa music. Do it all very other day and learn to be calm and confident - that’s the best you can do.