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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

@@@* Birth trauma @@@*

44 replies

lulumama · 27/04/2007 09:56

In light of a couple of recent threads, I searched for how many times I have discussed birth trauma on here - 76 times !

So , for any mum who is affected by a traumatic birth, here are two really useful links

birth trauma association

birth crisis

Birth trauma is one of those issues, like PND, that often gets ignored, or swept under the carpet...

there is not a sliding scale of trauma, it can affect you if you had a vaginal birth, a caesarean birth, if it has affected you and left you feeling upset, sad, empty, cheated, bewildered, in emotional pain, then you can get help and support..

Another good thing to do is to contact the head of midwifery where you gave birth, and ask to go through your notes, or get in touch with the patient liaison service - PALS - who can help with this too

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BandofMothers · 27/04/2007 09:57

Lulu, you truly are a wonderful, caring person

Original poster

lulumama · 27/04/2007 09:58

just doing my job. x

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NineUnlikelyTales · 27/04/2007 10:00

Lulumama I completely agree with you, thanks for posting this.

I suffered a terrible birth and was having flashbacks, etc for a few months afterwards. I went to the hospital to go through my notes with the consultant and whilst I wasn't over it all straight away, I did start to feel a lot better very quickly. Now I hardly ever think about the birth except for the good bits.

I would urge anyone who had a difficult birth that is upsetting them to follow Lulumama's advice.

hertsnessex · 27/04/2007 10:02

Good for you Lulu.

traumatisedatnight · 27/04/2007 10:10

thankyou again lulumama, and what bom said! x

Original poster

lulumama · 27/04/2007 12:09

no worries

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Daisybump · 27/04/2007 12:40

What a lovely lady you are lulumama....i had a horrendous birth and at one point didn't have a clue what was going on...but I spoke to the consultant who did my c-section the next day and she talked me through my notes which made eveything much clearer.....

Can i ask you a quick question about BH....I've been back and forwards to the hospital this week with firstly very regular (3-4 mins) contractions which were crampy sore along the bottom of my bump but not painful as such, then again yesterday wiht irregular (five over about three hours) which were very painful (IE couldn't talk through them) all the way up my bump. I'm only 33 weeks and obviously a bit worried that this LO is gearing up to come out now....they have given me co-codamol and told me to get back to them if things get worse....what's your experience of this? is it quite common, and am i likely to suffer like this for weeks?

Original poster

lulumama · 27/04/2007 12:46

ah. yes sounds like my pregnancy with DD!! as long as you are not losing fluid, or blood , it is likely you are having intense BH and some trial runs for the real thing...i take it you are not dilating, nor have lost your show? if the hospital had been very worried that baby was imminent, most likely would have given you steroids to help mature the baby;s lungs..and maybe kept you in...

were your contractions registering on the monitor?

once you get to 37 weeks, it is classed as full term, and a baby born now, would most likely be fine..so try not to worry ( easier said than done_) and call hospital if you are concerned !

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Daisybump · 27/04/2007 13:03

Cheers Lulumama......the painless ones were about 1/4 high on the scale.....yesterday the painful ones were about 3/4....but i had one that was off the scale that I didn't feel at all. they didn't seem to be having much of an effect on LOs heartbeat though...which is good.
I had a tiny bit of pink tinged mucus on Sunday evening and nothing since. And on Monday my cervix was long, closed and posterior....so much so that the internal exam hurt like hell....they didn't examine me yesterday...just did the CTG

Original poster

lulumama · 27/04/2007 17:18

sounds like baby is not quite ready to arrive
hope all goes well for the next few weeks x

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LynetteScavo · 27/04/2007 17:20

Lulumama, your'e wonderful. I wish I'd read your post 8 years ago!

Original poster

lulumama · 27/04/2007 17:22

stop!!

really , i have been there ,and i know how crappy it is, when you are sitting holding your new born, feeling like your heart has been ripped out...and trying to smile through it

if just one more mum gets some help, and resolves her issues around the birth and can sleep better, and look forward to having another child, then great !

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4jen · 29/04/2007 19:49

Question for Lulumama

What does it actually mean when they say your cervix is posterior?. Everytime I was examined after a postin they kept saying cervix very posterior and I wondered what that means.

Original poster

lulumama · 01/05/2007 12:38

hi jen

sorry ! have not been here a great deal

basically posterior means 'at the back'

on the whole when a cervix is getting ready for labour, it starts to shorten, soften and move to an anterior position, (at the front) and then starts to dilate....

some women seem to have a cervix that is always posterior, and that can make vaginal examination and smear tests harder to do

i take it this was when you were being induced? the prostin gel is to ripen the cervix, to start it softening and dilating....if your cervix is at the back, it can be harder to reach ! the cervix should come forward as it ripens..

hope that helps x

hope that answers your question!

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4jen · 01/05/2007 21:58

Lulumama

Thanks for that it explains a lot. It does appear to be permanently posterior then!.

chocolatte · 14/05/2007 10:16

lulumamma thank you for posting this - I wish I had known about it after my birth but still very useful now. I had a pretty horrendous birth and was rushed to theatre after the baby was born to put me back together again and was in hospital for almost a week afterwards getting blood transfusions etc. I obsessively talked about the birth afterwards and couldnt understand why I kept doing it as it upset me so much. (Now I dont want to talk about it at all.)

The consultant came out to my house about 8 weeks afterwards with all my notes (because they were to blame for putting the baby in distress and damage to me due to excessively high levels of induction drug. This did help me a lot and to see the actual trace documents and go through the birth. The consultant was very honest and admitted mistakes had been made. Just them owning up to it made me feel a lot better and also I felt that they would learn from it and hopefully other women wouldnt need to suffer like this there.

I hav a medical problem relating to the birth that I have avoided going back to the consultant about. And I have also ignored requests to go for a smear because I don't want any more doctors messing about in there! However after seeing this in the BTA information as a symptom of PTSD I have decided that I am going to do something about the smear and the other embarrassing problem! Thanks so much for putting the link on there.

Boco · 14/05/2007 10:22

I really wish it was common practice in all hospitals to be offered time to go through notes with the midwife and discuss everything that happened and why it might have happened. With both my births i was left baffled, and the second time with huge gaps in memory and feeling very shocked and scared. My baby was taken to special care, i remember crying for days.

It was 3 months later that i finally went back to the hospital and had 'difficult birth debriefing'. Only after i understood what happened and why it happened did i stop having horrible flashbacks and thinking about it constantly, and could get on with enjoying my baby. If it wasn't for my hv seeing i was at risk of pnd due to birth trauma, it would have taken me so much longer to feel ok.

cathcart · 14/05/2007 10:26

oh boco - you have just descibed what I have been through! I had my debriefing last week and it has made the world of difference, i can finally sleep at night! -no flashbacks, no tears. It is mainly thanks to mn, including Lulmama and especially Aitch that made me take the right steps.

Boco · 14/05/2007 10:34

I'm really glad it helped Cathcart - it makes perfect sense that understanding what happened will help to take away some of the fear about it.

I saw the midwife for 6 sessions in the end. We went over and over the same things until i knew what happened when, who was in the room, why they did what they did. I was furious with one midwife who was horrible to me - told me to be quiet and stop making a fuss when i knew something was wrong, and then left me on my own. It helped just ranting about her too! It had become like a nightmare sequence in my head and i needed to put it all in order and find out what was real and what wasn't. Finally i just stopped feeling angry and sad, and could focus on my gorgeous baby.

chocolatte · 14/05/2007 10:48

I totally agree. I stopped having nightmares and feeling so angry about it after I got the opportunity to talk through it properly with the consultant. My community midwife persuaded me to phone the head of midwifery about it. She was very understanding on the phone but wanted me to put it all down in writing before we met. I just couldnt bring myself to do this and to find the time with a new baby who screamed for 5 hours a day with colic. I had a follow up with the consultant booked so I raised it with him and he came out to see me shortly afterwards.

If anyone is feeling like these - phone the hospital and make an appointment to go to see them - it really helps. Dont let them fob you off with putting it in writing first!

Original poster

lulumama · 14/05/2007 11:26

really glad that these links are helpful.....birth trauma is still one of those things, that we just don;t talk about....or it gets dismissed..

i am all for being positive about birth, and for encouraging women to believe their bodies can do this , and that birth is a wonderful thing, on the whole it can be...

BUT, for those who have a traumatic time, for whatever reason, it is really important they are listened to , supported and nurtured, so they can move on, not forget, but move forward!

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fizzledizzle · 21/05/2007 21:56

lulamama you are fantastic. i've just been on tothe birth trauma web site and its just amazing. i had pnd after birth of 2nd son which started while i was still in hospital.i had terrible flashback of being in the delivery room/operating theatre and was told this was just an effect of pnd. after reading this i am not so sure. ds2 is now six but still struggle with it. its so amazing to read about people who have been through the same. thank you so so much .

Original poster

lulumama · 21/05/2007 21:57

glad it has helped

it is never too late to address what happened, and to process it and deal with it..not to forget but to live comfortably with what happened x

OP posts:

massivebigpantsface · 27/09/2007 21:12

useful bump

Original poster

lulumama · 27/09/2007 21:19

thanks pants ! mwah x

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@*@*@* Birth trauma @*@*@*

@@@* Birth trauma @@@*