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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Original poster

'stop pushing/slowly' - is it the right thing to do?

27 replies

BubbleAndSquark · 15/01/2018 21:23

My baby is a few weeks old, and at the end of his labour there was a few contractions where he was almost out and I was told to slow down as he started to come out, then felt him go back between contactions.
On the last I didn't listen (not really intentionally, I wasn't coping well and hadn't had time for pain relief) and pushed him out very quickly as she was saying slow down but I only needed 4 minor stitches.

Is it always right to listen when they say to, or is it sometimes a case of you should go with your body? I feel like I could've got him out sooner if I hadn't been being told to stop.

OP posts:
mrsBeverleyGoldberg · 15/01/2018 22:07

I was told that. The midwife told me it was to reduce me tearing. So hard not to push. I had loads of stitches with my two dcs. So I guess it's true because they're trained and I'm not. Also I had a lot of gas and air.

LemonBreeland · 15/01/2018 22:10

I think you were lucky. I had 2 births where my babies came out fast. No chanve for the panting to get the head out. I had 3rd degree tears with both.

I had o e dc where it was more controlled and didn't have the same issue.

Batterseapark · 15/01/2018 22:13

Hi OP, the main reason midwives ask you to slow down is to give the perineum time to stretch to try and prevent a severe tear but there's nothing wrong with trusting your instinct!
Many congratulations!

Mummyloves09 · 21/01/2018 08:16

With dc1 i followed the midwives instructions and luckily didn't tear. Now as I'm pregnant I will try my best again when the time come to listen. But it's hard when your in the moment.

user1499786242 · 21/01/2018 08:40

It's to prevent tearing badly and looks like it worked...

With my next baby I am going to do absolutely everything to try and reduce the damage to down below! Hoping my midwife is on board with that 😬

Afreshcuppateaplease · 21/01/2018 08:42

I did as i was told and havent had any stitches (4 births)

Sheeeesh · 21/01/2018 08:44

I slowed down as instructed and had no stitches. 9lb baby!

I was furious at the time as I just wanted it over. Glad now though!

donajimena · 21/01/2018 08:48

I was told to stop pushing so I did. Baby came out like a cannonball though! I was crying thinking I was terribly torn and saying I didn't push I promise!
It did make me wonder how helpful pushing actually is or whether it would come of its own accord
Amazingly I didn't tear

catwoozle · 21/01/2018 08:51

I had tears (more minor second time) in spite of following MW's instructions.

userabcname · 21/01/2018 08:54

I had the opposite - I was being told to push with no urge to do so whatsoever. I got a 3rd degree tear too.

Crumbs1 · 21/01/2018 08:58

The reason to pant and not push as the head is crowning is to protect the perineum. A rushed exit risks tearing. A slow, managed exit allows time for perineum to spread and gives time for baby to turn in the birth canal so that smallest part of shoulders is presenting after head.

Believeitornot · 21/01/2018 08:59

First baby I ignored the midwives recommendations to slow down. I remember panicking at the crowning and pushing ds out quickly! (I tore badly). Second time around I really listened to the MW at the pushing stage and it was much better. I still tore along my old scar but nowhere near as badly and healed quickly.

Itsjustaphase84 · 21/01/2018 09:00

When i got that ring of fire pain with dc2 i made a conscious effort to avoid the urge to push. It helped and i had a minor 1st degree tear. I had a very painful 2nd degree tear with my first.

bhdhnghjn · 21/01/2018 09:04

I think listen as they are telling you that for a reason, I know exactly what you mean though, that feeling off needing to push and being told not to is a killer and I have panted like s dog and resisted the urge

4 children and I have never torn

Maccapacca88 · 21/01/2018 09:05

My 2nd was born with paramedics assisting. They just told me to "push Push PUSH! I had 3 tears. Luckily I recovered well from them with no lasting damage.

TeddyIsaHe · 21/01/2018 09:07

I didn’t listen, I could not stop the urge to push, and tore really badly.

Will be making a huge effort next time around to really try and push slowly to save my poor fanjo from more stitches! Recovery was hideous.

silkpyjamasallday · 21/01/2018 09:54

My midwives told me to stop and pant several times during the pushing stage, it was difficult as the urge to push was so strong, but I did what they said and thankfully I didn't tear at all. I had also been massaging my perineum with almond oil for weeks beforehand too which I'm sure helped too.

Dottieroses · 23/01/2018 11:20

Delivering the head slowly is very well researched and therefore taught to all midwives, so I would follow their instructions. Yes of course if you push the head and baby will be out much quicker, you're right, but a midwives role is not just to get the baby out, it's to protect you and your baby from harm as much as possible. By breathing the head out, the perineum can slowly stretch and therefore will only incur a small tear (or in some very slow deliveries, no tear at all). However it also has another purpose, whilst in the birth canal there is a huge amount of pressure on the baby's head and the bones in their skull overlap in order for them to fit. If the head is born very quickly, the instant pressure release can potentially cause a bleed on the brain , rare but can happen, more commonly fadt gead delivery results in a floppy and very shocked baby who needs assistance to breathe as they have not had time to go through procedure of preparing to breathe by the time they're out. I completely agree it's very hard not to push when crowning but all midwives wouldn't just make it up. Regarding the paramedics, they will have told you to push as they have extremely minimal labour experience and they are not allowed to coach you or touch the baby until born, they can only tell you to push as they aren't trained midwives. Hope that all helps 🙂

NomsQualityStreets · 23/01/2018 12:01

My midwife told me to stop at one point and pay attention to her now if I didn't want to tear, and then instructed me to give lots of little pushes.
It worked and I didn't need a stitch even though DS came out with his hand up.

Maccapacca88 · 23/01/2018 14:24

That is very interesting, Dottie! The paramedics were fabulous, I didn't mean to imply otherwise. I understand that they have to have knowledge to help in several situations so can't be expected to be experts in everything. DS was a high risk birth and I have to say that they were so reassuring and confident that it made me much calmer.

KimmySchmidt1 · 23/01/2018 15:54

It’s to reduce tearing. Midwives deliver babies a lot so they tend to be quite good at it. You don’t have to listen but will tear more if you don’t - up to you.

holycityzoo · 23/01/2018 16:05

Yes as other say it's to reduce tearing.
I've listened and stopped pushing even though it's so hard and panted or blown as the head crowns. I've had 4 babies (one was 10lb8) and no stitches.
Who knows though maybe I'm just stretchy. or have a large fanjoBlushGrin

Potteryprincess30 · 30/01/2018 15:00

If you only read one thread while pregnant this should be it Smile

Such good advice!

Shmithecat · 30/01/2018 15:05

I didn't slow down - my Dr did tell me to as soon as the head was out but then said 'no, just do it!'. She had good reason to though and I did. Baby came out. I had 30 stitches. Worth it though. They don't advise this stuff for shits and giggles.

splendide · 30/01/2018 21:42

I followed advice as best I can and hardly tore, just a graze really.

I distinctly remember saying “he’s going back in!” and my (lovely!) midwife laughing. DH told me later that she was apparently inches from the action. Very very precise coaching on when to pant and push and so on. She was absolutely amazing.

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