Please recommend a good book for me here - am absolutely terrified.

[WriggleJiggle]

Only 13 weeks pg with baby no.2, so a whopping 27 weeks left to go, but after a pretty rough time with dd's birth I'm absolutely terrified and dreading it already.

Please can you recommend your best 'birthing' books to help me put it all in perspective and relax a little.

what was the problem last time? I had ds1 by emergency section then a dreadful elective section with ds2. I weeped and shook the week I found out I was pregnant with ds3, convinced I was going to die. I found Michel Odent's book "caesarian" really helpful, and had a lovely birth with ds3 (trial of labour, early switch to section).

"Hypnobirthing:The Mongan Method"by Marie Mongan may help you. I love hypnobirthing. Also "Spiritual Midwifery" by Ina May Gaskin

Hi wrigglejiggle,
I'm a Doula, and have plenty of books that can help you.

Email me on
jopowell1 at yahoo dot co dot uk

The main problem last time was a totally incompetent midwife, who rather than being reassuring, made so many basic errors both myself and dh were a nervous wreck.

I don't want to have it at home (I don't think), but would also rather not have to rely upon a useless midwife ifswim. I think the more I know about it, the more prepared I'll be and calmer.

jofeb04 - thanks, I'll email you now.

Birthing from within is good in a hippy chick kind of way. Good on fear of childbirth.

Thanks WWW, anything positive and calming sounds great. I really don't want to have to rely on midwives this time around.

Ina May's Guide to Childbirth is good too and slightly less hippyish than her other one

your problem in a way sounds similar to mine. Nothing particularly bad happened during the elective, but dreadful communication meant that I was left terrified about what was going on (which was essentially not much, just some scar tissue, but they seemed to forget I was awake). It really helped me during my pregnancy with ds3 to realise that neither me nor ds2 had ever been in any actual danger as such, I just been left to feel as if we were.

You could talk to the traumatic birth helpline- just to talk it through.

Another one for the Mongan Method. Read it. Even if you don't manage to do go into the deep levels of hypnobirthing (which I didn't), the relaxation techniques are superb. I gave birth to my second in 2.5 hours with no pain relief and can honestly say that I enjoyed the experience.

Message withdrawn

Ina May Gaskin's Guide to childbirth

hippyish, but inspiring stories of birth, really get you believing you can do it and nothing to be scared of !

would be good to be debriefed about first birth, before going into second birth, perhaps through the birth trauma association, and maybe looking into a doula for this time?

I second the Ina May Gaskin book. Brilliant!

Also Sheila Kitzinger - Pregnancy and Childbirth.

Active Birth by Janet Balaskas.

they are me second and third choices, spidermama!

I'd recommend using a doula.

Birth Reborn by Michael Odent

Childbirth Without Fear-Grantly Dick-Read

Both of these books really helped me,as well
as well as Hypnobirthing by Marie Mongon

Thanks for all the suggestions. I've thought about a doula (one of the problems was being left alone for up to 45 minutes at a time last time with machines going off etc ). Unfortunately finances are very tight at the moment, so we could really do with saving the money for absolute essentials instead.

Off to browse ebay ....

wriggle...there is a hardship fund that you might be eligible for, if you are very strapped for cash
also, a trainee charges less than a fully fledged doula,and some doulas offer a slididng scale of fees
it is worth emailing local doulas and asking them,,,you never know...

doula uk

I foudn the Janet Balkasas book helpful. I also had hypnotherapy second time round, as well as attending ante-natal yoga classes and I can't praise either too highly. Had a wonderful labour with ds, after not exactly enjoying dd's.

God, I hate Birthing From Within

I do love Ina May, though [redeems self]

Would definitely recommend contacting Birth Trauma people and debriefing before the next one. They can be incredibly helpful.

i want to be ina may when i grow up!

I read Spiritual Midwifery whenever I am feeling a bit CTGed-out (i.e often).

I just couldn't get past all the flippin' birth art and bad pomes in BFW [radical midwives badge revoked]

i have a copy of spiritual midwifery by my bed, with underlinings and highlighted bits and post it notes stuck to the bestest pages !

if i can;t be ina may, i;ll settle for sheila kitzinger

Gentle Birth Method.... just make sure to ignore all the dietary stuff as it'll depress you utterly but the other stuff is brilliant.