Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

Sil has just written her birth plan and......

51 replies

calvemjoe · 23/04/2007 21:07

Has said that she doesn't want any internals until she feels ready to push. Is there any chance that she'll get this?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Chocolateface · 23/04/2007 21:10

Someone else will say something else much more usefull and intelligent, but You do have to give your permission before someone sticks their hand up your fanjo.

CantSleepWontSleep · 23/04/2007 21:12

Does she want any drugs? I would think that this would have some bearing on whether the midwives were reluctant to leave her unexamined or not.

Dottydot · 23/04/2007 21:12

I refused all internals until I'd got my epidural - partly because I'm a wuss and partly because I was feeling VERY stroppy indeed..!

By the time my epidural was in the midwives were all being horribly nice to me and kept asking my permission lots of times but by then I didn't care - just glad to be out of pain - and kept telling them to help themselves..!

Original poster

calvemjoe · 23/04/2007 21:12

I suppose, I just feel that she's gonna spend her whole labour arguing with midwives.

OP posts:

NineUnlikelyTales · 23/04/2007 21:12

I had something similar on my birthplan, which was great up until the point where everything went wrong and I had the world and his wife up there. She certainly doesn't have to have any examinations that she doesn't want, but I surprised myself at the time by wanting to know my 'progress' and she may feel the same.

whomovedmychocolate · 23/04/2007 21:12

Depends how stroppy she is prepared to get while in enormous amounts of pain. Personally I'd say 'minimal' vaginal exams myself because frankly, they will try and tell her they can't tell if she is in labour or that the baby may be in a bad position if they can't prod her.

Oh and she'd probably feel ready to push WAY before she needed to as well - I felt like I wanted to push at 2cm. So that would have buggered up her plan for the get-go if she had the same experience!

MoreSpamThanGlam · 23/04/2007 21:14

Its her bloody body!!

She isnt ill! she is giving birth....you know, that normal thing...

What if they said well we might think its right to stick an orange feathered bonnet on your head whilst in labour? Think she would just go along with that?

This irks me....off to bed....

Original poster

calvemjoe · 23/04/2007 21:14

She's planning on starting at the bottom and working up the list for pain relief. She's so stressed about the whole 'people down there' thing bless her.

OP posts:

liquidclocks · 23/04/2007 21:14

[hi cal!] IMO I think that will probably go out of the window when she'#s been in labour 10 hours and wants to know if she's actually got anywhere!

Dottydot · 23/04/2007 21:15

It also helped me get my epidural asap - refusing access until I'd got one! After that I had them all up there, trying to get a clip on poor ds's head...

plibble · 23/04/2007 21:15

At the midwife-led birth centre at my local hospital (QC) they have a policy of not doing internals unless they think something is wrong or you want to push. They say that this is better because it stops women from getting discouraged when they think they've been labouring for ever and are only 4cm and they can tell that labour is progressing by how the woman behaves. Good for your SIL, internals are horrid. I ope she gets what she wants.

DaisyMOO · 23/04/2007 21:16

It will probably depend on which midwives she gets. I had something similar on my birth plan but ended up asking for one early on because I couldn't quite believe I'd gone into labour naturally after an induction and two elective CS I didn't have any after that though and the midwives weren't at all bothered. Don't think they even asked!

MoreSpamThanGlam · 23/04/2007 21:16

Right - now a proper post from me.

Why not discuss her preferences with her birthing partner, and hopefully then she wont have to argue - they can!

fishie · 23/04/2007 21:16

someone here said something so good the other day, that the midwives will just go home afterwards and never think about you again, whereas you will always remember it. wish i'd been less cowed. hooray for stroppy sil.

Twinklemegan · 23/04/2007 21:18

Does she want to use the birth pool? Because you're usually not allowed to until you're 5 or 6 centimetres dilated, which means they have to check. It's well worth letting them do so as well - if I hadn't I'd have been left on my own, presumed to still be in early labour, for much longer.

Original poster

calvemjoe · 23/04/2007 21:19

Hey liquid [waves]. I think she'll want to know how she's doing when she's there.

OP posts:

Twinklemegan · 23/04/2007 21:19

I didn't actually have an internal to establish if I was ready to push though. The midwife noticed I was pushing involuntarily and was happy to go with the flow.

Original poster

calvemjoe · 23/04/2007 21:21

she doesn't want to go in the pool because there is too much on show. She is (her own words) a prude and her biggest fear about labour isn't the pain but being on display.

OP posts:

SeeYouEntee · 23/04/2007 21:23

Hmmm, well I really didn;t want any internals when I went into hospital with DC2, mainly because I couldn't bear the thought of lying down and MW wasn't willing to try with me in any other position. I was pretty far along by the time we went in, and gave in to the MW's 'pressure' after an hour or so. DH helped me on to the bed and off again (luckily he could tell what I wanted, as I wasn't able to communicate it myself. MW said I was 6cm dilated, and waters intact. I gave birth about 20 mins later. Fairly pointless examination IMO.

I think they are more likely to take on board your sister's preferences if they are written down, and if her birth partner 'fights her corner'.

Wallace · 23/04/2007 21:23

I only had one internal when I was in Labour with ds2, and that was not long after I got there.

However while she was doing it, she did have carry on a conversation with dh. There is something to surreal about having some one with their hand up your fanjo, in earnest conversation about skiing

Original poster

calvemjoe · 23/04/2007 21:26

Lol Wallace.
So if her DH fights her corner, she should get her wishes?

OP posts:

liquidclocks · 23/04/2007 21:27

(having said that I went from 4cm to fully dilated in half an hour...)

But seriously, if she doesn' want to be 'on sow' then fair enough. As I understand it the more relaxed you are in labout the more smoothly it's likely to go SO, whatever makes her happy!

Good luck to her - think she'll join MN?

liquidclocks · 23/04/2007 21:27

'on show'

Original poster

calvemjoe · 23/04/2007 21:28

I don't think so Liquid . She has resisted so far.

OP posts:

whomovedmychocolate · 23/04/2007 21:29

Calvemjoe - please tell her that you check your dignity at the door when you have a baby and that prude or not someone, at some point will have to look at and touch her fanjo and she won't give a hoot at the time. When you leave the hospital, you can pick up any leftover shreds of dignity from the desk, that's why there is a small brown envelope in the back of your maternity notes

Flip

1 2 3