My first birth was almost 3 days long and resulted in a 3rd degree tear which took the best part of 10 months to heal. It was all quite traumatic physically and emotionally not least of all because I struggled to bond with my baby for a long time due to the constant pain.
4 years later I delivered again at 37 weeks and despite midwives trying their best to prevent a perineal tear I ended up with a 2nd degree tear where the previous scar tissue basically collapsed as my little one came out. It took over an hour to stitch me up and I was later advised by the surgeon that if I had another child she recommended I opt for a c section.
3 years later and pregnant again, at 20 weeks I met with a consultant. It was a great meeting in the sense that she completely listened to me and I told her frankly about the lingering issues down there I have experienced since both births (including occasional mild bowel incontinence, sorry to be so graphic)
I was told to see her again at 34 weeks and if I wanted a c section she would sign it off. 34 weeks arrived and on the day she was in theatre and I was seen by another doctor who was totally dismissive of all my concerns and was insisting the fact that the second tear was a 2nd degree meant the 3rd delivery wouldn't be a 3rd degree tear and basically tried to scare me off a c section. I have no real desire to have major abdominal surgery but I also can't risk another 3rd degree tear when I have 2 small children to care for. She told me to come back again at 40 weeks if i really wanted an elective, despite my concern that I may go into labour before then.
I left that meeting feeling very tearful and totally confused. As if I'd gone from a positive headspace to a totally negative one.
Has anyone had 2 tears and then no more with heir 3rdvaginal delivery? Or 2 tears then a c section? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I am so stressed and anxious right now.