Post delivery...expectations

[OnNaturesCourse]

Had first child 6 days ago after a three day induction and 5 hour active labor... Which ended in forceps and a cut (2 stitches) baby was stuck in birth canal, I think I pushed for a hour or so.

I've noticed over the past few days I've started leaking pee if I put my pelvic floor under stress (particularly when straining thanks to constipation) and I can't hold my bladder well. Tonight I noticed I can't stop my mid flow anymore.

I did my floor exercises in pregnancy but now I can barely feel the muscles/get them to tighten.

My question is... Is this normal? Or should I consider getting help? Anything else I can do to self help?

It is normal - now is the time to start doing your pelvic floor exercises and do them religiously and everything should tighten up.

Download the NHS squeezey app and get squeezing!

Thank you

I wasn't expecting things to be brilliant after birth but I wasn't expecting to hardly be able to feel the muscles

Just make sure you do those exercises religiously!

And congratulations

I had an hour of actual pushing and a forceps delivery as well. I couldn't feel anything for ages it all felt numb. But my dd is 6 months old now and everything has gone completely back to normal- the NHS squeezy app really helped.

Hi OP, just to say please don't strain. It could cause more damage. Take laxatives for as long as you need them.

To help with the constipation, see if you can lift your legs, on a little stool or something. If you google it there are various videos about it but it’s easier on your muscles.

It took me probably until my stitches wore out to feel the muscles properly again (1-2 weeks I think). Dont worry at this point - it shouldn’t last long, but if it does, then do flag it with someone.

I had a forceps delivery too and an episiotomy. I also had the dreaded constipation! Don't strain! I did and ended up with piles which caused me excruciating pain - worse than labour I would say! I was then scared to go for a bowel movement. I think the pain relief meds also make it more difficult and your system does get clogged up. I suggest you lift your legs when on the toilet. I was at the end of my tether and was looking into using Vaseline (Google if you wish!). However eventually it all happened and I wanted to throw a party. Keep drinking lots of water, that really helps. Also I second not being able to control pee mid flow - this will improve - it also happened to me a couple of days after giving birth and I was mortified! My little boy is now 4 weeks old and I feel much better with regards to down there now. I have stopped bleeding but know I need to work on my pelvic floor muscles. Piles have gone, but I haven't had the guts to look at my
Episiotomy cut, I'm hoping it is healing well. Sorry for the massive essay!

Thank you all for sharing, so kind and reassuring. I'm just so scared I'll forever have this problem. The constipation really isn't helping, i feel it all around my bruised tail bone.

Prune juice, by the bottle.
It got me through the first time. It’s terrifying isn’t it? I thought I was going to just break apart.

Did you ladies have low back pain with the constipation? I wonder if it's related to that, or where DD was stuck on my tail bone area.

I felt very bruised after both labours for a ew weeks. And yes get some lactulose and take a big spoonful every evening for a couple of weeks. It’ll really help and is pretty cheap and very easy to buy over the counter.

Congratulations!
I had 2 hours of pushing with forceps and had issues with leakage and constipation afterwards for a good 2 months. lactulose really did help with the constipation and taking care not to do any straining or exercising beyond the pelvic floor exercises until the leakage stops.
6 months on and I still struggle to hold in pee if I do any vigorous exercising but it is improving.
Also had DS push on my nerve throughout labour which resulted in back pain and sciatica. This wasn't fixed till I saw a chiropractor so might be worth doing the same if you're still having issues couple months on xx

I didn't know you could get it over the counter... I've had it before but it took weeks to kick in and I wasn't as bad as I am now.

I think last time I was bad I took duculax (sp) in liquid form.

Thing is I'm in the middle of changing GPs so it'll be a day or so before I can get an appointment to speak about it all. Talk about timing!

Hi OP, I had a long pushing phase (over 2 hours) and 3rd degree tear. I couldn't feel anything at all for a week - not even my bladder! I had to make sure I sat on the loo every 2 hours to avoid wetting myself! When the feeling came back I was very sore and uncomfortable and couldn't feel my pelvic floor muscles at all like you. All I can say is, time and pelvic floor exercises are great healers! If you think there is a problem then speak to your midwife but sounds similar to my experience. Also keep up with lactulose and fibrous food.
Congratulations on your baby and hope you feel more normal soon.

If the leaking hasn't improved by your 6 week check then ask for a referral. I needed physio to get me back to normal. All good now though.

You need lactulose to soften it all up!

I've got some dulculax now, and have managed to pass the tiniest of BMs but it's a start. Already have slight relief.

My butt cheeks are in almost a constant spasm state due to tail bone pain and bruising. I began to wonder today if my pelvic floor is similarly effected, which is why I can't tense it... And I leak when pushing..

Hi OP, ask your midwife or GP for an osmotic laxative like lactose. It's the type they normally give after birth.
Unfortunately the coccyx pain won't go away straight away (a combination of direct trauma and having to wait for your pelvic floor to strengthen). I'd advise buying a Valley cushion and resting on your side for as much as possible. Check with GP but you should take paracetamol 4 times a day (for months if necessary) until the pain gets better.
I would also ask to see a woman's health physio. They will advise on pelvic floor exercises but also assess if your muscles are tense (which can contribute to coccyx pain). These muscles take 3 months to strengthen under a 3 time daily regime of exercises. The physio might even recommend 5 to 6 times a day for 3 maybe 6 months.
I'm sorry this is probably not what you'd like to hear now. I'm just trying to manage your expectations and help you summon the practical support you will need. Of course people won't be able to drop their activities for 3 full months but they might be able to come on a regular basis to help you.

Things WILL get better but it takes time. You need to be very gentle with yourself (and that may mean spending days in PJs or only doing a short 10 min walk for now).
Big hug

I had a night on a warm hot water bottle (on tail bone) and a day of regular pain killers plus duculax...and rest. I feel much better for it, still tired but my butt cheeks have completely relaxed and in turn the pressure on my tail bone/back end has completely eased.

I'm hoping tackling that end first will give me a better base for my bladder control, pelvic floor and tummy muscles.