Long pushing stage first birth

[Newbietwo]

I am 11 weeks pregnant and starting to worry about this birth already!

With Ds1 I had a very long prelabour (regular and painful as he wasn’t engaged at all), active labour of just 4 hours and then a prolonged second stage of 4 hours 40. It was a physiological delivery in the end. I’d been prepped to go to theatre for a trial of instrumental but there were such huge delays that eventually I guess he came down far enough for the Doctors to feel they could have a go at delivering him in the room and apart from an episiotomy, I didn’t have anything else. We’ve been told since that there must have been two emergency csections happening so both theatres taken for mums or babies who really needed it. Ds and I were fine throughout.
All ended well with ds arriving with an Apgar of 9, no big postpartum blood loss for me, lovely skin to skin which I felt well enough to take in and enjoy and a good recovery.

Following his birth, I alternated between feeling glad that the delays had happened and my body had managed it in the end, in a way that was okay for me and ds. Between this and feeling scared by the lost hours of transferring from the MLU to labour ward and of countless exams by different midwives and Doctors while we waited for theatre, mostly on our own and with just gas and air. I was exhausted and felt like I was dying with no one helping. Clearly this wasn’t the case and there must have been good management of us by the team.

I am planning a homebirth this time and going to use savings to pay for a doula, hypnobirthing, osteopathy etc - anything to make the pregnancy/ birth easier and happier. I am with a caseload midwife team which has been amazing already, but since my booking appt and talking about ds’s birth, I have been really dwelling on it again and worrying that whatever caused the huge delay in descent last time will happen again and I am being stupid for even hoping for a Home birth.

Sorry for the essay, just needed to write it all down and hoping for some reassurance or to hear about really positive second birth experiences!

I had long second stage with dd1 which culminated in forceps. But with dd2 was perfectly normal delivery. I felt dd2 move down in a way I never did with dd1.

Every birth is different but would say it seems most people for me the 2nd quicker (if not necessarily easier). Plan for the best, prepare for if things don't go to plan and f you have trust n the people around you at the birth even better. (DH was much more assertive in dd2 birth as he was also consious of the first being very long)

First dc was an awful 17 hour labour.
Second dc asleep (me) to holding ds =2 hours 55 mins.
Stop worrying!!

My first birth (at home) was 2nd stage of 5 hours. Was v glad not to be in hospital as baby was fine throughout and I’d rather not have had a cs.

2nd birth (also at home) was a breeze and completely typical 2nd stage (ie much shorter). I’m sure you’ll be great!

Thank you so much, it is so encouraging to hear that you went onto have more straightforward births and second stages.

I never had an urge to push- in the end I started pushing after 4 hours again as I felt no one was coming to help me and I couldn’t do it any longer. But maybe that was an urge to push?