8 weeks until EDD with no.3 and suddenly VERY scared............

[fannyannie]

some of you may know about my previous 2 deliveries. For those that don't short (very) version

DS1 - CS 24hrs after waters broke because of "suspected" possible fetal distress (looking back think it was just the 'easy' option). Didn't have ANY contractions at all and didn't dilate whatsoever.

DS2 - VBAC - but was induced (again after my waters broke without anything happening on it's own - but they did give me 72hrs). Lay on my back being monitored for the entire thing, ALL pain relief failed which was physcologically (sorry for spelling) worse than the pain itself I think and ended up with ventouse delivery in theatre with my legs in stirupps, episitomy and 4th degree tear. All in all a HORRIBLE experience.

This time round I've got a lovely Doula who will be there with me as well as DH, but I've suddenly got really scared that

a) baby will still be breech and I'll end up with another CS

b) I'm going to have a similarly horrible experience as I had with DS2 with my waters breaking and nothing happening on it's own and then the horrors of being induced and painrelief not working.

It's DEFINITELY my last baby and I want to be "happy" with the birth as I feel DS1 and 2 weren't at all what I hoped for/expected and quite frankly I'm petrified that it's all going to go ar*e over tit again and I'll be left feeling deflated and upset about it.

Sorry I can't offer any expert advice, but wanted to send support and hope it goes well for you x

Hopefully the fact that you have a doula this time will ease the way you feel when you do go into labour.
It will also make a big difference to stay upright and mobile as long as possible to assist the progress.

But what do I know, I've had 2 c-sections, one emergency due to constant monitoring while laying on a bed. That affected my choice of delivery for DC2.

I really hope this time round you get the birth you have been hoping for.

i think you need to speak with your doula ASAP...she can reassure you and work with you to make sure you go into this birth in the best frame of mind...

try all the various things you can to turn the baby ,and if not, you can look into vaginal breech birth or elective c.s and prepare for that

all being well, you will have a spontaneous labour, baby will be head down, doula will support you to have intermittent monitoring, active labour and if your waters break , NICE gives 96 hour before you should be induced!!

so, all sorted !

perfectly normal to have these worries ! make sure you address them all in plenty of time x

actually it's funny you should say that about spontaneous labour - that's another (much more minor) worry I have........I've barely had any Braxton Hick's let alone any contractions that haven't been induced - and my waters have always gone first........I have silly ideas about being in labour (without my waters having broken) and not even realising as my body has never "known" what to do before

you will know, trust me !

look, it might be your body breaks waters, then pauses then labours, it is ok......96 hours is ok..and you can be checked for infection before then.....

i had induced labour ending in c.s, followed by spontaneous VBAC...was worried about knowing it was labour and when i was in labour, when to push.....there was no mistaking either of those things...!

BH are not indicative of how your labour will be x

I had over 72hrs with DS2 and nothing happened.......there was much debate about what they would induce me with as my cervix wasn't anywhere near being ready to labour.

As for preparing myself for an elective CS - I've been trying to do that since I last saw the MW and she told me that DC3 was footling breech (he's since moved around I think - but feels like he's feet down again now) and even though I spoke to my Doula about it last week I just can't get my head round the idea......obviously if I need an emergency one once in labour that's fair enough but the thought of an elective one makes me feel really

I think you need to talk things through with your doula. You could always not tell them your waters have broken, my friend went 4 1/2 days after her waters had broken ( she did tell her midwife, but the midwife pretended not to hear!) and went on to have a lovely birth.

can give you some info re making a c.s a more personal experience if you have an elective....you still have 8 weeks for LO to turn, don't despair ! easier said than done though x

Sorry to hear about your previous deliveries. There is still plenty of time for the baby to turn, so I wouldn't panic about needing cs. Agree totally with all the advice about talking to your doula - she is there to support you, so needs to understand exctly what you're feeling. Don't hold back - let her know exactly what you want from this birth.
I think the phrase that says it all in your post is that the failed pain relief was psycholgically worse than the pain itself. I completely agree that this can be a huge problem in labour. It's an interesting observation that women who have a number of types of pain relief which don't work successfully always end up feeling they've had a much worse labour than someone who doesn't choose the pain relief in the first place. I mean, in theory, a woman who elects to NOT have an epidural, should feel just as much pain as a woman who chooses one which then doesn't work effectively. But the the facts don't bear this out - I've talked to plenty of women who had no or minimal pain relief who were very happy with their labours. It's to do with expectation. Obviously it's entirely up to you what you put in your birth plan, but I would urge you to talk through with your doula the various types of pain relief. There are so many excellent non invasive methods, massage, water, hypnotherapy etc. I think you'll find it very empowering to know that there is a whole spectrum of strategies you can try before you even go anywhere near high tech medical stuff. The evidence is that this is definitely the way to go for the greatest chance of avoiding interventions. I had a bad tear with one of my births, which in retrospect i realise was totally because of a mismanaged delivery - baby coming out too quickly, me being in a bad position etc. And this was DC3 - a smaller than DC1 who I had in a lovely birth centre with one midwife and just gas and air.Think positive,this is YOUR birth and you deserve to feel good about it.

Firstly I agree with lulumama re speaking to your doula and working through all of your worries but also I'm really concerned about the amount of pressure that you appear to have placed upon your self to get this birth "right".

There may be reasons why this birth will not go to plan although clearly that's not what anyone wants for you. I think it's important for you to acknowledge this and that if things go awry it won't be your fault or because you've not been positive enough etc.

Best wishes. x

I suppose Ladida - it's just that apart from having two gorgeous DS's (and DS2 at least coming out the 'right' exit instead of the sunroof ) I have no positive feelings about my 2 births with them - they just left me feeling deflated - even though with DS2's birth 'plan' I was very flexible and open minded as to what could happen......

Hi,

Re BH, I was never aware of any at all in both my pgs. so try not to worry about them or the lack of them, everyone is different.

I had emCS, fully dilated but baby back to back and head not tucked in and me on my back...

I have since had a VBAC, REFUSED induction, spontaneous labour again, but kept more mobile and refused to lie on my back. Intermittant monitoring with hand held sonicaid is preferable as CFM does not inprove outcomes for baby but does increase risk of intervention and instrumental deliveries for mother. Whichever method you allow, they can do it in whatever position your body is telling you that you need to labour in.

This time you have a Doula who will support and encourage you and if waters break well before contractions start she will give you information about Natural methods of induction to try first. She should also point you in direction of info for Optimal Foetal Positioning to try to make sure baby isn't breech (eg. Spinning Babies)

As a VBACer myself I can assure you that your doubts are normal. We all have wobbles before the birth!

Stay strong.

Klaw - the problem is with refusing induction for me is that TBH I'm not sure my body would actually realise it's supposed to be doing anything. With both DS1 (EmCS - well not really emergency but hey) and DS2 (induced VBAC) absolutely NOTHING was happening with my body even once my waters had gone - and with DS2 that was even 4 days later ! I don't want to leave it so long that I leave me and DC3 in danger of infections...

Fannyannie,

isn't that a typical concern of VBACers! We are so insecure because we can't believe in our bodies. And even your VBAC has you insecure now! ((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))) I sympathise!

Have you seen this ?

Obviously if your waters have gone you can't have penetrative sex but there is a school of thought that the prostoglandins in semen are more effective orally than vaginally... Did you know that the synthetic protoglandins are made using pig semen?

Anyway, I do understand why you are concerned and this is why I recommend you talk it over at length with your Doula. This is exactly what Doulas are here to help with.

Stay strong!

Fannyannie, so sorry to hear of your childbirth traumas. My first was a horrible experience. I can also sympathize with not going into spontaneous labor. That was an issue with ds1. Since the first birth ended in emerg section I decided to go for an elective the second time around. As it turned out my water broke early, again no labor but since we had already decided on the section I just basically wound up with an earlier section than planned. Technically emergency but really quite calm as I felt in control this time around. And that, I think, is really a lot of what can make for a good birth experience - feeling in control of what is being done with your body. Whether you wind up with a section due to breech presentation or go for a VBAC. Getting a doula was a great move. I had one with ds1 and she was the one bright spot in an otherwise dismal situation.

If you do wind up with a scheduled c-section, typically they are much easier than an emergency one. Mine certainly was and that sentiment has been echoed by many MNers.

Good luck!

my CS with DS1 was very 'dignified' and I had 4hrs to think about it and was fine with it at the time - it was only much later (years rather than months) that it hit me that I was unhappy about the way it had been handled - after they'd decided that they weren't going to induce me but give me an "emergency" CS I was left for 4hrs until

a) I'd had time to digest my breakfast (was a "good" first timer and had a good meal as I was expecting a long labour needing lots of energy LOL).

b) they could slot me in........