ELC turned to EMC two weeks early - feeling slightly overwhelmed

[Vikingcat86]

Exactly a week ago my DH and I found out our DS was breech and after discussions with the senior registrar agreed an ELC was the best way forward for us. I'd hoped for a water birth but I treated my birth plan as a wish list and was buoyed by knowing the exact date we'd meet our little bundle.

With 6 days left in the office I made rigid plans in my head about what I was going to do work wise and at home to finalise preparations - we had all of our baby stuff ready but I wanted to sit in the nursery, organise it and take some time to just focus on the impending arrival. I had an easy pregnancy, remained active throughout and got 6/7 hours sleep most nights the whole way through. My bump was quite small and with various personal and professional things cropping up over the months I'd only just started to feel pregnant.

On Thursday morning just as I was getting ready to go in the shower there was a slight twinge, pop and my waters broke. We made our way straight to the hospital where I started having contractions and by the evening an EMC had been performed and we had our beautiful little boy with us - everyone well and healthy. The recovery from the EMC has been straightforward, with pain easily managed and home within 36 hours.

So what's the problem? I guess being sleep deprived and postpartum is a big clue, but hearing the morning traffic today (that I should be sat in), coming home with the baby to see the house exactly as we'd left it and not being pregnant anymore when I was gearing up to just embrace my final few days has left me feeling overwhelmed, and slightly robbed as those Moments that would be the end of one chapter and the beginning of a new one. I even cried over not being able to see my green notes again.

My DH is amazing, very supporting, very hands on, talking me through everything that happened from his perspective and listening to me talk about what happened. But I wondered if anyone else had had a similar journey/ experience & emotional outcome?

Congrats on your baby.

I too had a planned CS and went into labour a week before.

I was in shock and definitely thought his can't be happening as I had a set date in my mind. I hadn't cleaned the house from top to bottom, I hadn't done a massive Tesco shop. I hadn't shaved . It was completely out of my control and there was nothing I could do about it.

I struggled with it for a bit but now it's a distance memory.

You are knackered, in shock and have a teeny baby to look after. Be kind to yourself. Grieve for the last few weeks you had to yourself that you will never get back but then accept what has happened and move on from it.

I think every new Mum feels the same way you do right now.

Day 3/4 post birth is when your hormones crash and even if you had had the 'prefect birth' you would expect to be crying mess at this point.

I had a traumatic birth ending EMCS and I later become very ill (everyone's birth and their experience of it is different) and I suffered with trauma of it. It is very important that you talk about your birth story and how to are feeling. It is only through sharing the experience that you will come to accept it.

I would expect anyone who has given birth to be shell shocked in the first 6 weeks or so. If after then you are confused about what has happened or want to talk it through with a a midwife then you can ask for birth reflections where they talk through your notes and ask you any questions that you have.

I had DD 12 weeks early completely unexpectedly by EMCS. I think my shock lasted for about 6 months. I still feel very cheated. We were totally unprepared - hadn’t bought the car seat/pram etc. They few clothes I did have for her were way too big, ditto nappies. I hadn’t even written a birth plan! I felt I ‘lost’ a big chunk of my maternity leave to her being in hospital.
I completely understand how you feel and 3 years later I still struggle, particularly as I’m now pregnant again. But it is what it is. We had her physically in our lives for 12 weeks longer than she was meant to be and now I wouldn’t change it as it’s made us all who we are.
All I can say is take one day at a time. An hour at a time if it’s a particularly tough day. You will find a way to make peace with the shock you've been through and go and see someone if it feels it isn’t getting easier.