Partner won't have sex with me since having our baby

[gemgems2214]

I'm not sure if I have posted in the right place but wondering what to do and need some advice.

We had our daughter 7 weeks ago, and last time we had sex was around 35 weeks pregnant. I've tried everything.. he just won't come near me and I don't know why? I haven't really changed much (body etc) as I carried well. I try subtle ways, and I've come right out with it and he just says not in the mood. It's really gettingme down as I don't feel close to him at all anymore.. yes I get I'm not on contraception but I bought condoms and he still won't. But it's not just sex it's everything, not feeling connected at all. Iv just had enough.

Do you hug, kiss, etc if not start to.
personally I'd just spend some time being close to him and the baby and enjoying your new life, your sex life will come back just give it / him a little time.

It's still relatively early days. I had periods where I also felt completely unconnected to my DH in the first few months. For us, sex was not possible at that point due to birth injuries, but even that aside I felt like we'd lost all the intimacy and I worried he didn't fancy me anymore. Breastfeeding probably didn't help with that either.

By 6 months, we were getting a bit more sleep, and time to ourselves, and everything fell back into place and we became "us" again.

Don't underestimate the impact of pregnancy, childbirth and the newborn stage, it can really take its toll on both of you in different ways.

I had a friend whose DH was quite traumatised by seeing her give birth and couldn't re-adjust in his mind to seeing her vulvaand vagina in a sexual way. He had the image of blood, and crowning, and her pain, etc.

They talked about it, and gradually recovered.

There is rightly an emphasis on women after childbirth, in terms of childbirth, mental health, Emotional feelings, tiredness etc, but have you talked to him generally and in an open way about how he is feeling about life as a father of a new baby, how he feels, how he feels it affects your relationship etc? Have this conversation outside the context of wanting sex.