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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

Nurseries in the hospital. Help me back up my request not to have my baby taken from me.

24 replies

deasterjags · 05/04/2007 13:04

It's me bleating about the odd South African ways in Maternity Units - again

In all the maternity units which are accessible to me, there is a standard policy to take the baby away from the mother after birth to the Nursery for weighing, measuring and bathing (they do this after the first feed).

There is also a policy that babies must be taken to the nursery during visiting hours (thus preventing visitors having a cuddle).

Would you be happy with this?

Can anybody point me in the direction of any scientific evidence that Nurseries are a breeding ground for cross-infection and that I am not a loon to be totally against them? Not to mention that I don't want my baby bathed by a stranger and dressed in hospital gear.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Original poster

deasterjags · 05/04/2007 13:07

or if I am a loon and misguided, I'd appreciate somebody telling me that too

OP posts:

maisym · 05/04/2007 13:08

if you say you want your baby with you will they listen?

Yurtgirl · 05/04/2007 13:09

Nope you are definitely not a loon - I would be appalled if I were facing that situation

Could you possibly have the baby at home - that would solve a lot of the issues, although of course it may create others!

foxinsocks · 05/04/2007 13:10

you're not a loon or misguided. Thankfully, my sister managed to get (and I know you, of all people, will appreciate how hard this is!) total midwife led care (she's in your neck of the woods, I should have put you onto her midwife, think she may have been English).

A lot of the women we know who have given birth there have been all too pleased to have the baby taken away so that they get to have a rest! You know what it is like over there!

Original poster

deasterjags · 05/04/2007 13:12

They have conceded that I can "room-in" with the baby.

But they are adamant that the baby goes for weighing/measuring and bathing after the birth.

A large proportion of mums still leave their babies overnight .

OP posts:

Original poster

deasterjags · 05/04/2007 13:14

I think they will let me "get away" with my request, but I'll need to provide concrete evidence.

I am on my 2nd hospital now - the first was horrendous. Limited visiting hours for fathers, scheduled feeding, total inflexibility on what happens after the birth.

OP posts:

Original poster

deasterjags · 05/04/2007 13:15

thanks Fox. I have an independent Midwife, but she has to adhere to hospital rules.

She's lovely and encouraging a homebirth. DH just isn't into it

OP posts:

Waswondering · 05/04/2007 13:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

deasterjags · 05/04/2007 13:23

I could Waswondering but I must confess that the thought of a private room for three days is quite an appealing prospect. If I go home after six hours I'll only get sucked into caring for the older children and all that entails.

Not to mention the exhorbitant cost for three days is standard - doesn't matter if I stay for three days or 6 hours.

If I could just provide some documentary evidence to the Head Sister on the ward I think I'd be ok.

But I haven't had the chance to look today.

OP posts:

Aloha · 05/04/2007 13:24

Just say no! What are they going to do, physically wrestle the baby away from you?

Original poster

deasterjags · 05/04/2007 13:27

That's what I said - they said fine then we won't weigh or measure her at all.

Simplifies the bath issue but I am quite sentimental about how much they weigh/measure etc.

OP posts:

Aloha · 05/04/2007 13:29

WEll, why not put it off until you feel like going with her to the nursery? Tbh, I don't think I'd mind the baby going off for a bit - I begged them to take dd for a couple of hours as I was desperate for a nap!

Waswondering · 05/04/2007 13:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MuminBrum · 05/04/2007 13:32

Oh dear, another thing for me to feel guilty about. DS went with DP to be weighed, measured, nappied etc while two obstetricians took 45 minutes trying to sew up my shattered fanjo. To be honest, after having a long luxurious first cuddle, I was quite happy to relinquish him to DP for a few minutes.

hunkermunker · 05/04/2007 13:35

If it's the bathing you're worried about, but not the weighing and measuring, there's stuff on here about newborns not being bathed you can show them - Mears posted it, iirc.

I'm amazed they take babies away during visiting!

Original poster

deasterjags · 05/04/2007 13:36

Don't get me wrong - if I have a CS (and it's a possibility because she is breech) then I will expect somebody else to look after her after delivery.

It's more the principal of the matter. I want my baby with me. They say no. They have no good reason.

OP posts:

Original poster

deasterjags · 05/04/2007 13:37

Don't worry folks. I am sure there are some good reasons why the NHS don't provide nursery facilities. I'll google them over the long weekend.

OP posts:

ScottishThistle · 05/04/2007 13:47

No advice but wishing you lots of luck, if all else fails...burst into tears...I find that scares many a Professional!

Waswondering · 05/04/2007 15:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Klaw · 05/04/2007 19:34

Dejags,

Have a good read through this , print it out and insist that you are not separated from your baby without your express consent. Pay close attention to Perspective 6.

I'll get more if you want or Lulu will have something I'm sure.

maisym · 05/04/2007 21:08

write down what you want & then say you take full responsibility for your actions - gets them off the hook with their policies.

mummytosteven · 05/04/2007 21:11

deaster - as I understand it, there was scandinavian research that indicated rooming in helped mothers bond better with their babies, that allegedly influenced the NHS change of policy away from nurseries (less staff needed would I presume have also been a biggie).

daisyhun · 09/04/2007 21:50

Just reading this and remembering back to the birth of my first baby in Jan this year and I was so glad of the midwife coming and offering to take my screaming newborn into the nursery for me to let me have some sleep after a gruelling 36 hour labour, me in tears and absolutely exhausted after dh was sent home...

The nursery facility was provided in an NHS hospital and was a life saver for me. But I am glad I was given the choice - totally understandable and natural to "room in" with the baby if you are up to it after the birth.

Ellbell · 09/04/2007 21:59

Umm... actually the NHS does provide nurseries, but only when (they think) they are needed.

When I had dd1 she needed to be tube-fed every three hours. The midwives begged me to let them take her to the nursery overnight, so that the nurses could feed her for me and I could sleep. (I'd had a c-section.) I refused (for sentimental reasons that were probably totally misguided about wanting my baby with me, wanting to be a 'proper mother' like everyone else, wanting to be the one to feed her even if it wasn't how I'd hoped to be doing it...) and set my alarm for every three hours through the night so I could put milk down her tube myself. After a week of this I was dead on my feet. Then they made me go home, and I had to leave dd there anyway... and I kind of regretted not taking them up on the chance of a night's sleep earlier, as it clearly made no difference at all to her who put milk down her tube. (She didn't even wake up for it!)

Anyway, sorry, have gone off on one . I think in your position (assuming no complications) I'd insist on having the baby in with me, but I might let them just take it to be weighed and measured, on condition they brought him/her right back again. But don't rule out the possibility of letting your baby go into the nursery for a few hours if you feel it would help you to rest for a bit. Very annoying to have no choice, though. Hope all goes well.

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