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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

Embarrassed About Labour

85 replies

Disneybump · 06/09/2017 02:21

So I had a really embarrassing labour and it's keeping me awake 2 nights later thinking about it...

I thought it might help put other people's minds at rest that, whatever you're worried about, it the can't be worse than this. Here goes:

I went into hospital two days early with strong, regular contractions thinking "this is it" only to find I was one centimetre dilated. The contractions had been so strong (but going nowhere) that they kept me in for 2 nights on a ward. I had some lovely painkillers, including codeine, which helped me get some sleep. I was also offered a c section the next day because she was breech, which I said no to because our hospital offers natural breech birth and I really wanted this. So I decided to go home and wait for my waters to break. The next day I lost my plug (still with the contractions) and 2am that night my waters went. Everything was progressing nicely and I was having a bath getting ready to leave for the hospital. The only thing was I really, really needed a poo and had done all that day but the codeine had made me really constipated. Which hurt so bad. My bowels never give me any problems and I don't usually take painkillers so my body didn't know what to do with itself.

By the time we got to the hospital my contractions were killing me and I was still desperate for a poo. The midwife, when finding I was 5 1/2 centimetres dilated, told me it was the pressure of the baby. I explained about the constipation and begged for some laxitives. Having already had contractions I knew I would cope with them so much better if I could just go to the toilet. They had me on gas and air for the pain straight away and agreed to get me a suppository laxative. Which worked really well...

But I was so off my head on gas and air I wasn't allowed to the bathroom so I had to sit on a bedpan in a chair with the midwife and my husband in the room. Because of the laxitives it was really bad but I was just so desperate to go. My poor lovely husband was looking away like I asked but he could hear everything. The midwife had to clean me up and I felt so embarrassed but I did feel loads better, when all of a sudden I projectile vomited all over myself and the bed.

I was having such a horrible time I kept up with the gas and air just trying to get through... then we found out her head was stuck and I had to go straight for an emergency C section. I was so out of it and emotional I cried all through the procedure and just wanted it to all be over.

I know some people poop in labour from pushing but I just think mine was so much more embarrassing because of the way it happened and I feel really ashamed when I think of it! I didn't even get to push...

Our baby girl is perfect and healthy, I know I couldn't ask for more. Please share any stories, there's no judgement here and hopefully this will make any other embarrassed mama's realise it doesn't always happen like the movies! An upsetting birth still results in a beautiful baby so we shouldn't be embarrassed (even if we can't help it sometimes)!

OP posts:

LemonScentedStickyBat · 06/09/2017 13:37

I got away with no poo or vomit but did deliver the placenta whilst on the toilet and had to fish it out. Mw came in to find me standing naked over the toilet, proudly holding the placenta up by the cord, legs covered in blood. She laughed. A lot.

Twinkletowedelephant · 06/09/2017 13:41

I was off my face with pethidine...

Dh told me afterwards about me threatening a midwife who suggested I bounce on a ball where she could shove her ball.
I also managed to lock myself in the loo and sit on the floor - explaining to dh that I would just have baby in here as the door was so very very far away. By the time they managed to open the door dd was well and truly on her way I was manhandled up from the floor trousers round ankles across the corridor and onto a bed just in time for dd to make her appearance.
Am thankful I don't rember any of it at all, I only vaugly remember my mum holding dd on the ward a few hours later and telling me how clever I was ;)

Next time I had c section - seemed much more civilized :)

ToadsforJustice · 06/09/2017 13:48

I believe I had a corned beef sandwich that didn't agree with me. A while later I in was in labour with DS2. Not only did I projectile vomit all over my DH and MW, I also had explosive, watery poos. During a home birth. In my lounge. The smell hung around for a while. Nature - ''tis a wonderful thing.

2014newme · 06/09/2017 13:51

Still not getting why you didn't send dh put during the toilet

Heratnumber7 · 06/09/2017 13:51

Not wanting to rain on your parade OP, but I think being sick and pooing are pretty much standard for any labour

24hoursfliesby · 06/09/2017 13:53

I pooed during labour, but worse than that when I'm anxious I get really bad wind. I farted so many times it stank the room out. It was awful. I also farted right in the midwifes face when she was examining me. I told her I needed to and she said just to do it. It was so so embarrassing. Farting naked in someone's face was worse than pooing when pushing.

Stormcloud10 · 06/09/2017 13:53

I fainted in the shower on the ward the day after my section, the entire ward saw me completely naked, bruised, wobbly and hairy

SnowiestMountain · 06/09/2017 13:54

Nobody ever said that I pooed during labour but I did feel the midwife discreetly wiping my bum!!

terrylene · 06/09/2017 13:54

I had had a tummy upset pre labour, and never got my pre-birth poo finished because the midwife wanted to speak to me on the phone in person (telephone still had wires ) so I had to get off the loo .

DDs arrived very swiftly and there was much panic and moving of rooms etc. I didn't realise until afterwards. There is poo and blood smeared on the monitors in the photos . I think it may have helped the room clear of unnecessary staff too

TiramisuQueenoftheFaeries · 06/09/2017 13:56

I'm reliably told by midwives that anyone who gets to an advanced stage of labour and thinks they didn't poo probably just didn't notice. The baby's head pushes right down on your bowel as it comes out, so just like toothpaste in a tube everything in there pretty much comes out. I didn't puke but I know I pooed.

Congratulations on your daughter

sheepflower · 06/09/2017 14:00

No reason to be embarrassed - we all do odd things in labour! Congrats on your beautiful baby. Onwards and upwards! x

CuteOrangeElephant · 06/09/2017 14:03

Why am I reading this 2 weeks before I'm due

StopShoutingAtYourBrother · 06/09/2017 14:03

I threw up everywhere including on three doctors / nurses and myself. Once started couldn't stop.

canihaveacoffeeplease · 06/09/2017 14:04

I didn't poo in either labour (home water births so I'm fairly certain...) but I did vomit with both, endlessly with the first and just once when I was ready to push with the second.

With my first pushing took HOURS and I was trying so hard. We thought my waters had broken (I was standing up in the pool) and mw1 said 'ooh your waters have broken, won't be long now' mw2 who was closer to me said 'no that was wee, you can smell the difference' what a (fantastic, brilliant, wonderful) cow. We still laugh about that a lot. Same labour I was clinging on to OH round the neck while pushing, and bit down on his shirt. In my delirious state I kind of realised it was his nipple, but only let go when the contraction ended. He never mentioned it or made a noise. We were lying in bed the next morning when I tentatively brought it up and he showed me the bruise. Oops!

DD 2's birth, whilst still undignified, painful and horrible, was a wonderful delightful breeze of an experience compared!

tomatopuree · 06/09/2017 14:04

Student nurse here. Poo is a Normal bodily function. I don't see it as any different now to wiping up spilt food. Honestly.

I seriously see and deal with so much that it doesn't even register. A thorough clean, and don't think about it again.

My stories will make your feel tame.

Think of me on my
First shift with a patient with no control of his bowels due to cdiff ...I spent an hour attending to the personal care of the patient and still his bowel was flowing. I have never felt so defeated in my life. I laugh now at how ineffective I was at clearing up... 3 bags, 4 packs of wipes and three tins of spray....

At my own birth I farted spectacularly whilst my consultant was doing an examination...you could have heard it for miles...

Stuckinstressville · 06/09/2017 14:15

I had a loose stomach the entire 4 hour labour and spent most of it on the loo in the waiting room, snarling at anyone who went near it when I vacated it just in case I needed to dash back, delivery rooms were all full so I laboured in a dirty loo and corridor then I got into the pool for 20mins to push and again watery poo. DH said nada and just says.. we don't talk about it.
:)

I ate lots of apricots and dates as had constipation so man my system was singing!

terrylene · 06/09/2017 14:15

for you, tomato and all the lovely staff who clean up people who are in this position. My DFIL suffered so badly from the antibiotic he was given for a resistant bacterial septicaemia that killed him, whilst having terrible delicate skin problems from the steroids he had been on for years, and swollen from heart failure. It is not a good place to be and the people that make you feel human again are priceless.

2014newme · 06/09/2017 14:31

At our ante natal class the midwife said, don't worry we give you your dignity back on the way out. I didn't have any vomit or poop but I had a section perhaps it's an advantage!

CaptWentworth · 06/09/2017 14:38

I worried about everything being on show before DS was born. Should I get a wax? Should I take a laxative before? What nightie will I wear?

In the end I needed an EMCS. Before this, I laboured for 13 hours in a backless hospital gown. Spent most of my time bent over the bed with my bare arse on show and DH rubbing my back. All the while several MWs and obstetricians stood behind me discussing what they were going to do. I COULD NOT have cared less at the time. Gas and air has a lot to answer for!

sleepisthebest · 06/09/2017 14:38

Oh it's so grim isn't it! Totally happens to the best of us. Try not to dwell on it. I pooed in theatre while pushing and having forceps, I didn't notice but OH said there was a terrible stink followed by a clean up so hat must have been nice for them!

I was also sick in a very undignified manner, of just had my epidural topped up prepped for an emergency CS of the forceps didn't work so I was completely unable to move. They'd warned me one of the (many) drugs they'd just given me could cause nausea and to let them know if I started feeling sick so they could give me something to help. No time, I just turned my head (the only thing I could move!) and puked all down the side of my face, in my ear and hair. Beautiful. I then had to ask one of the million people (seemed like) in theatre to wash my face because I couldn't do it myself.

Aside from the poo issue, could you be suffering from a bit of birth trauma? It's really very common, especially if things haven't gone to plan. I really struggled to deal with my birth, it was awful. I'd still to this day use the words upsetting and violent to describe it and I'm quite a while on after it. A debrief might help you to deal with it.

Ilovewillow · 06/09/2017 14:41

Yep pooed with both of mine! Second was a home waterbirth so the poor midwife had to sieve it out! That was followed hobbling into the lounge for stitches wearing mismatched flip flops! I had both legs on two separate chairs and the midwife did the stitches wearing a miners headlamp with my husband holding up our office anglepoise lamp for extra light!

Please forget all about it sounds like you did a great job - many congratulations!

fucksakefay · 06/09/2017 19:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PsychoPumpkin · 06/09/2017 20:13

fucksakefay

That was very entertaining!

Kittykat93 · 06/09/2017 20:35

I'm 31 weeks pregnant and reading this with amusement/horror at the thought of what is to come honestly though OP don't get hung up or embarrassed about the birth, shit happens (literally) and I'm sure you will see the funny side in the future, I know I'll have to just laugh at whatever happens to me as we can't control what happens during labour !

Original poster

Disneybump · 07/09/2017 07:55

@sleepisthebest I think you might be right about birth trauma, I'm going to ask at the home visits about whether there is anything they recommend. I would describe my birth the same way as yours, thankfully it didn't interfere with bonding, but it was still awful and definitely traumatic.

@fucksakefay I just laughed so hard I nearly burst my stitches! Thank you for your stories, other people's experiences and understanding makes everything so much better!

On that note @2014newme I was hours into a difficult labour, my waters having gone at 2am following painful contractions. I was sleep deprived, exhausted, frightened, in agonising pain and I wanted the man I married next to me in my hour of need. I was expressing my embarrassment on here because I have felt ashamed and upset at how out of control I felt, but now I realise that reflects on my entire experience of labour (having ended in an emergency section) and not just loss of control of my digestive system! Yes I was concerned for how that would affect the way he sees me as I needed him so much that night, but it turns out he thought nothing of it, he was glad to be in the room with me when I was frightened and in pain.

Labour is not a time when most people are thinking straight, you do what your body has to do and even if there had been time for me to salvage my dignity and ask him to leave the room, I don't think I would have wanted him to. I was just expressing that ultimately it was embarrassing and everyone else's support and stories have helped me feel normal for that. Thanks everyone

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