Pain Relief In Labour

[meltingmarshmallows]

Looking for some honest experiences from Mums who have already done it re: childbirth.

I've planned to try and have a water birth with gas and air. Largely because I'm terrified of an instrumental delivery and have read that an epidural could increase those chances. In addition friends and family have said Pethadrine made them feel sick and totally out of it. And when I read about the various other options the side effects seemed off putting. In short there was no silver bullet ... Every option seems to have a major downside.

Everyone I know who has given birth recently in RL has told me "take all the drugs". There have been some traumatic births which I'm trying not to dwell on but on the whole, of those I know recently all have involved a lot of intervention and not been how the mum has planned.

I appreciate they're only trying to help and every birth is different but it's made me really wonder if a natural birth is likely. I don't have an especially high pain threshold and I don't want to be traumatised ... Whatever gets baby here safely and leaves me well enough to get on with the task at hand straight after is the best option.

It feels like there's a strong sense of pushing natural birth from health care professionals which I am taking on board (thus me aiming for this). But when people in RL / random people in the hair dressers / seemingly everyone I speak to is telling me to take the drugs ... I'm wondering if I'm being naive.

I'm down to be midwife led, but sort of think if I'll end up having an epidural it may be better to plan for that and do it sooner. So as not to increase risk of instrumental delivery etc. That would mean no pool etc which I really would prefer. It's all very confusing and hard to get info on.

If you don't mind sharing, I'd love to hear about your choices in this respect. And experience of the various pain relief options.

Just to second what others have said about keeping an open mind. There's nothing wrong with aiming for a natural birth and many many people achieve this. From what I've heard doing preparation like hypnobirthing really helps. I wish I'd done it.

I also aimed for a drug free natural water birth but dd was back to back and labour was excruciating, i asked for Pethidine and they took one look at the monitor and rushed me in for an emcs as she was in distress. I didn't mind because I just wanted her out by then. It felt very traumatic at the time but I just focused on the fact that I had a healthy baby.

I think we are conditioned to think somehow that the birth experience will have a huge impact on us and the baby, and I don't think this is always the case. I know people who had a lovely natural water birth who then had fussy colicky babies, and others who had traumatic births but easy babies. So don't get too hung up on it whatever happens. If you and the baby are healthy and well at the end of it, I think that's what matters.

Best of luck!

I went into labour having no idea what pain relief I wanted!

I started on gas and air but it didn't really make any difference for me and it just made me feel sick so I stopped that after a while. The birth pool was amazing but again I wouldn't say it helped with the pain it was just more soothing in between the contractions.

I had pethidine at the very end as I'd gone hours without any pain relief and felt like I needed something to help me out a little bit, I had anti sickness with it though as I'd heard that it can make people feel sicky

What I planned for : home birth, gas and air as last resort, hypnobirthing.

What I got: massive baby, health issues, induction, drip with back to back contractions, pethedine, gas and air, epidural, spinal and caesarean. Monday morning to Wednesday lunchtime. Baby was eleven pounds.

I had none, but I have fast births (longest labour 2 hrs 45 mins). If I'd known ds3 was going to be born with hands on head I think I'd have asked them to set the gas and air up. And if I had the sort of births my DM did, I'd have had everything going. You don't get prizes for going without and a good birth is one that ends with you both safe and you feeling generally happy about how it went :)

Both of mine were pool births. And they were not small babies- 7lbs 14 and 8lbs 14! I had gas and air and the usual ibuprofen for the first and nothing at all for the second as it happened so bloody quick- 44min after my arrival in hospital and the midwife only just had time to fill the pool before I needed to push. Despite the second being bigger it was less painful and so I just didn't feel I needed pain relief. I also just wanted to go with the flow so was more relaxed hence why I think the birth was quicker and easier.

With my first DD I had nothing as she was so quick.

With DS, I was Induced,all started about 30mins After pessary. Went from 0-5cm within an Hour.
Walked me to Labour ward, sat me on a bed in a Hot room. And told me to have the Gas and air, but was breathing so fast that it made me feel sick, next thing I know, my Body just started Pushing whilst the midwife was filling in Notes, she Run over as he Popped out onto the end of the Bed. I just remember the feeling of My Bum feeling like it had stretched to the point of no return as his head came out! TMI I know lol.

Had excellent births Both times. no stitches on Both don't know whether to be ashamed or proud

Hope everything goes well for you OP!

@WhatwouldRuthdo Congratulations! & thank you for sharing / your advice x

Thanks everyone for sharing your stories, it's really helpful and just proves further that really no two are the same. But I didn't even think about a TENs machine so I'll be sure to try that!

Totally agree with what a PP said about overthinking the birth effecting the baby & me. I think staying as calm and possible and not having too rigid an idea will be the most useful thing I can focus on.

Thank you!

I had nothing but G&A with my first. I won't say it was a barrel of laughs. It was traumatic.

2 cs after that so no experience of other options for vaginal delivery.

However, there's no prize for doing it without pain relief if you need it. You wouldn't have a root canal without anaesthetic. Keep your options open. Put in your birth plan that you'd like to know if you're reaching a point where certain options won't be available to you. Make your birth partner aware of your wishes and get them clued up so they can help you make the decision when you're possibly not going to be in the clearest thinking state. Good luck!

There's a link between epidurals and interventions, but that doesn't necessarily mean epidurals cause interventions.

In my experience, friends who have had shorter labours (say broadly under 12 hours) have often managed fine on g&a, water etc. Those who have had longer labours have often needed pethidine or epidurals.

If you are in pain for 12/24/30 hours (or more) and can't rest then its not surprising labour is tricky.

If you have a particularly long or painful labour it could well be because the baby is badly positioned or mother is exhausted, so intervention is more likely regardless of whether you actually take the drugs or not.

I was on an MLU so the only things I could have was pool, paracetemol and G+A. I was in agony I won't lie, they would only allow me paracetemol until I was 4cm, I was being sick with the pain until then. It improved once I was in the pool and on G+A but around 10 hours after arriving at the hospital I'd decided that if I wasn't 10cm next time I was examined I was going to demand to be moved up to the labour ward for an epidural. Didn't happen as I was 10cm. It did take 4 hours of pushing to get my daughter out though - I was given a deadline of 9am to give birth as my waters had gone at 9am the previous day. We passed the deadline, she was born 90 minutes later. There was no room for me on the labour ward - if there had been I know she would've been born well before 10.30am as I'd have ended up with forceps/ventouse. I'm happy I didn't end up being moved however I know towards the end my daughters heart rate had dropped right down.
She was back to back, and all the pain was in my back. As soon as she was out it disappeared completely though - I thought I'd be going home in a wheelchair! You do forget the pain though - it hasn't put me off doing it again.
I have sent off to get copies of my notes from the hospital to see how things went as I remembered, there are some things DH tells me that I can't remember.

I had diamorphine and it was fabulous! It took the edge off the pain and made me sleep in between contractions. I tried gas and air but hated it- 2 puffs and I demanded something else!

I gave birth 1 week ago to my first baby at 41 weeks and like yourself my birth plan was a water birth with gas and air as I didn't like the side effects from the other methods of pain relief. The best advice I can give is to be flexible as labour is unpredictable and you don't know how you are going to cope.

For peace of mind I chose a birthing centre attached to a hospital in case anything went wrong or I did want an epidural I could be transferred straight onto the labour ward.

I was very confident that I was going to give birth in the birthing centre as I'd had a problem free pregnancy, had the 'show' the day before and my waters broke at 4am. I was very calm. The midwife wanted me in straight away as my waters had broken the risk of infection was higher. My contractions at this point were every 5mins lasting over 1 minute, they were quite strong but only being 2cm dilated the birthing centre suggested I went home until my contractions were stronger, they gave me cocodine to ease the pain, but at this point I couldn't take the pain and could hear the other women in labour on gas and air in pain so I requested to go onto the labour ward for an epidural. I did feel like I'd given in to easy but didn't want have weaker pain relief and for it not to work. I'd been in labour for 8 hours.

I wish I hadn't gone home as it was 1 hours drive away and by the time I'd been at home an hour my contractions were so strong I could hardly walk 5 steps without stopping. The car journey was quite stressful in busy Sunday traffic, every light seemed to be on red and the roadworks were never ending! I didn't even care that I was wearing my husbands dressing gown. If they do send you away make sure you are happy to do so.

When I arrived at the hospital I was in established labour 4cm dilated and given gas and air, which took the edge off the pain and didn't make me feel sick like I was told.

At this point I knew I'd made the right decision for me to have an epidural even the midwife (who normally worked at the birthing centre) said you were right to opt for an epidural as I'd been in labour for 10 hours and my baby was in the back to back position. Even though she was in the correct position at my last midwife appointment.

Having the epidural wasn't painful as I could use the gas and air while they administered the injection. Once it took effect I couldn't feel any pain but I could feel the contractions, like a pressure in my bum and vagina so it still felt like I was in labour. Make sure you eat beforehand as once you have the epidural you cant eat

I progressed really well going to 8cm in the space of a few hours. But to get to 9cm was about another hours and hitting the 24 hours mark I couldn't get to 10cm so the doctor insisted on an emergency c section as the risk of infection was too high and he didn't think the baby would move to the correct position as she was overdue and too big.

Being told I was having a c section was terrifying and disappointing after all the time being in labour. It never crossed my mind that I would end up having a c section, but you accept that this is your only option and the doctors have your best interest.

I had a spinal injection to numb the pain (twice as it didnt work the first time, this wasn't painful) you can't move or feel any pain but you do feel movement. It did make me sick.

It was amazing to be awake for the operation as I could feel my baby being born. My husband cut the cord and the baby was brought to us while I was being stitched. Unfortunately I couldn't hold her as I was shaking from all the adrenalin.

Once transferred onto the labour ward I breastfed, but I was falling asleep I was so exhausted. We both had a high temperature so needed extra monitoring. I was in hospital for 5 days as I was at greater risk of infection my baby had Jaundice and weight loss as I'd struggled to feed. Gradually the jaundice went, I had 5 days of dedicated breastfeeding support and managed to establish feeding before I was discharged with the babies weight nearly back to her birth weight. Without the midwives support I dont think I would have been successfully breastfeeding.

My birth plan didn't go as planned but I have a healthy happy breastfed baby and that was always the outcome I had planned.

Hope this essay helped in someway.

Everyone's experience is different.

I went into it with no expectations, not bothered about a natural birth and willing to take pain relief if I needed it.

However, it progressed really fast and within hours I was in screaming, agonising pain and begging for an epidural. By the time they arrived it was too late and I cried as the anaesthetists left

I went on to have pethidine, which was shit and made no difference at all except that I kept falling asleep during the five seconds between contractions. Gas and air did nothing for me. The best thing, weirdly, was an oxygen mask which I think they gave me because I was panicking.

Next time I will be getting an epidural early on. I stupidly thought that I was coping and had no idea how bad it was going to get. I don't care if this makes the birth take longer - twenty four hours of pain free labour is better than the three hours of medieval torture that I endured.

Sorry to give you an unpleasant story. Some women don't feel pain like that, but some do. I always thought I had a high pain threshold, having suffered from a painful condition most of my life, but I honestly had no idea. Don't try to be brave, is my advice. There's no medals for it.

@thenewaveragebear1983 that's a really good idea re: the point of no options, thank you!

@Iamamum32 thank you for sharing! And congratulations X

Thank you everyone for your replies they're so helpful! It's really good to hear about everyone's experiences and how much they vary.

Totally agree with what everyone has said about there being no medal. I think open mindedness is key as clearly you can't predict how it's going to go!

I do feel as though there's no choice for me in terms of being put in midwife led, but in the hospital I'm in the consultant led ward is just upstairs so that's not too much of an issue. I just worry if there will be resistance if I decided I would prefer some help.

The rooms for midwife led are like a hotel and partner can stay etc. That's my main reason I guess for hoping it goes that way, but I'm realising that it just may well not and I'm not going to avoid medication for the sake of that ... If it turns out it's needed!

You are right, no silver bullet. No one way ticks all the boxes. BUT warm water really helps. When I read that water births help with pain relief , was like yea, right. But as soon as I got in the water the relief was amazing. My whole body relaxed, and everything got much easier.
Best of luck with whatever you go with though op.

And of I ever did it again ( no longer possible....) I'd definitely go with hypnobirthing.

Another anecdote - I was fine for ages with TENS then water and g&a. Unfortunately after 8 hours water may be slowing things down so got out and my pelvic girdle pain got worse. I can't take pethidine so after a while the midwife said "I know you put on your birth plan you were terrified of an epidural, but may I suggest you think about it?" About half an hour later I decided it would be good. And after anot her half hour of going through my complex drug reaction history he decided it should work, and it did.

Eventually after nothing happened for another 18 hours we planned a CS but they were happy to try a ventouse just to reassure me we'd tried everything, and ds just popped out in the theatre. I recovered really quickly as I'd said I'd like an expert to do stitches if needed, and MWs were impressed when they saw them! I didn't feel a thing.

Only issue with moving from MW-led to the consultant ward was being pushed through public corridors and lift, and I couldn't stand anything on me and kept throwing off the sheets that DP and the MW kept trying to put over my naked body! I remember the sheets, did not register anyone else around and really don't care!

I wanted MLU but because I went 10 days overdue and had to be induced it wasn't allowed as I was considered higher risk. In a way I'm glad now as I was totally unaware and too relaxed about childbirth. I hadn't ever been worried about it. However once my labour kicked in, they offered me gas and air, which made me feel sick and dizzy. They asked me if I would like to try the pool and it definitely helped to an extent but after a while I was still struggling with the pain. They offered me pethadine, (I never looked up any pain relief beforehand) so I took the offer. However it made me totally spaced out and sleepy but did nothing for the pain! After what seemed like hours of trying to push they decided they needed to intervene as my son wasn't happy. They gave me an episiotomy and planned to use forceps. However after the episiotomy I managed to get the strength to push and not neee forceps. Be open to pain relief as you never know what could happen and what to expect. I didn't think it would be as bad as it was! Read about them and go with how you feel when the day comes!

TENS is really good for some people, OP (including me!) and I also liked hypnobirthing, though I found Gowri Motha (gentle birth method) better than the trademarked hypnobirthing people (marie mongan?)

Gowri Motha is a sleb obstetrician though back in the day you could email her questions etc. Now I think that sort of thing costs ££!

She has done a couple of CDs - pregnancy prep one which I loved and really made you feel you were preparing yourself physiologically. Also one for the birth itself. She has a sort of bossy authoritative tone which I rather liked!

She also has a whole programme around healthy eating etc in pregnancy though I couldn't be faffed with most of that. But the CDs were great.

I've had two straightforward births - just gas and air - and one induced, complications with baby etc and had gas and air and morphine with him. I'd say hypno stuff helped me with all of them. (And the morphine was good by the way. Don't know how different it is from pethidine but just relaxed me and in fact hurried things up as I was heading for a c-section by that point.)

Echo people's views about keeping an open mind which it sounds like you are. You'll be grand. They'll look after you whichever way it goes.

Take care.

3 short Labour's for me, no pain relief as I didn't feel I needed it. What helped was breathing techniques, visualization, and remaining upright. I was terrified of all the possible pain relief options, and felt it really important to stay clear headed and in control. The only really painful part was transition, which didn't last for very long luckily. I know I was fortunate, which was partly genetic, and I'm telling you this so that you know it is possible to do it without painkillers.
A midwife friend said to me a few days before that she hoped I enjoyed it, which put a completely different slant on all my anxieties.
Hope it goes well for you and the baby.

I found hypnobirthing helped me a lot. I really didn't want anything but caved and had one shot of pethidin while helped me doze from 2cm-9cm, then I found gas and air enough for pushing knowing the end was in sight!

My first birth was great, a water birth in hospital. It was very painful, but I felt that I could manage it and gave birth with just gas and air.
I had my second at a birth centre and it wasn't as good. Baby turned back to back and it was torture compared to the first. I was crying/screaming with the contractions and falling asleep between them. The midwives that visited me afterward said I should feel proud for having done a back to back labour with just gas and air but I still even now feel stupid for not telling them to get me over to hosp and have all the drugs.
Go at birth with an open mind and do not be afraid to tell them you need drugs, if I had my time again I definitely would have.