Elective C Section

[MozFan]

Hi all, I'm new here so please be gentle.
My partner and I have stopped using any contraception as we are hoping to fall pregnant.
However the last few weeks have made me realise how petrified I am of childbirth. I've always known I'd struggle. It isn't actually to do with the pain or blood, it's being out of control of the situation and the amount of variables that can happen and go wrong.
I'm also terrified of tearing or needing to be cut to let the baby out.
But the biggest thing by far is anything being inserted internally. This is going to be embarrassing but I've never been examined or had a smear test because I can't bear anything being inserted into me (except a penis). Anything that resembles a foreign object - even a tampon. I can't insert, so I have to use pads. So I'm absolutely terrified of needing forceps or the other suction thing.
I'm so worried that if and when I get pregnant I'll work myself into such a state I'll have a massive panic attack and put the baby (and myself) in distress.
Because of my health anxiety, I'm afraid of anything medical and my BP goes up just walking into a GP surgery.

I wonder if anyone has experience of an elective cesarean through the NHS due to mental health?
I've read some wonderful stories online about how calm and wonderful the experience is, you're not a screaming mess and you can enjoy the moment (because you have the spinal or epidural so can't feel anything). Also I have big anxiety around my heart and I'm so worried that the stress of it all, the pain and the pushing would give me a cardiac arrest. I'd feel better having a cesarean as you're hooked up to the monitors and the doctors, midwives and surgeon are there on hand immediately, should anything go wrong.
I understand it's major surgery and I'm fully aware of the risks, but I'd much rather those than have the baby's head get stuck or have a prolonged labour or the baby gets into distress and I would probably need an emergency c section anyway in that case!
I just don't think my anxiety and panic can take a vaginal birth.
With all that noise, panic and loss of control, I would be a complete wreck. I want to enjoy my pregnancy and not live in constant fear the whole time. I'm not even pregnant yet and I'm already feeling sick and faint about it! That's anxiety for you!
I don't want it to stop me becoming a mother though.
I'm thinking of booking into my GP to discuss the possibility of an elective c section, before I even get pregnant. So I'm not trapped with no way out. I really want a baby, I don't care how he/she is born as long as they are safe. I know women go on about vaginal births being empowering, but it's not for me.

I think I'm pretty much set on an elective c section. So I'm going to fight for one on my mental health grounds. I can't be out of control or go into panic, it would make things so much worse. I need a reasonably calm situation, that would suit me much better with my extreme GAD. Plus I know a difficult labour can cause PND, I'm already in the high risk category for it so I don't want to make it any more likely.

I can't comment on getting an elective C-Section sorry OP but would say -in a non patronising way!!- that I had a lot of concerns about pregnancy, birth and breastfeeding before. And I've been amazed at how much my views have changed. As you go through pregnancy you'll have loads of opportunity to consider things, learn and perhaps feel more relaxed.

That's not to say you won't still want a section, just to try and not over think this now. When the time comes, you'll have choices about your care and can make the decisions, but I remember how much more terrifying it felt before pregnancy. When it was just an idea. VS now that I'm heading straight towards it. Hopefully someone more knowledgable can answer your specific questions, but I didn't want to read & run X

Yes it's possible to get elcs on mental health grounds. It will depend on your nhs trust as to how many hoops they make you jump through. You should talk to your midwife at your first appointment once you are pregnant and ask to be referred to see a consultant or a supervisor of midwives at the hospital. They may want you to go through counselling before they agree to it. You will need to show that you have a clear understanding of all the risks. The process can take a long time and involve a lot of meetings. It's worth talking to your gp now although I'm not sure how much they will be able to do with you not yet being pregnant, they may be non committal.
There are many women on this board who have had elcs for similar reasons including myself, so it is definitely possible and a mental health reason is a valid reason. Have a look back through other threads for more advice as there have been quite a few over the last few months. Good luck!

I've recently had an emergency c section, for reasons I won't go into, but i decided early on in pregnancy I didn't want an instrumental birth.
They can't do anything you don't consent to during labour/birth so you can make it clear what you don't and will not consent to before hand. I just wrote and signed a note and stuck it in my notes to say no consent forceps and ventouse (sp). They were never suggested it didn't progress far enough but it took the fear away for me.

You poor thing. Health anxiety is such a beast. Whatever you decide, if it's any consolation, you can be monitored during a vaginal delivery as well. I was on a cardiac monitor and baby on a trace the whole time with DC1. If any of my vital signs went out of range, the midwives and obstetricians new right away. They really kept a close eye on me and baby. You'll be well looked after either way.

Thank you all for your lovely and kind responses. I expected the opposite actually.

The rate of still birth and baby in distress is lower with an elective cesarean.
The heads of babies have evolved too large to fit through the small pelvis of the woman - the pelvis hasn't evolved to accommodate the larger head, therefore a lot of women end up having emergency c sections or other interventions. If I put on my birth plan that I don't want forceps or ventouse, they will do a c section if baby is stuck anyway (which is likely) and so I'd much rather opt for a calm and planned c section.

Both myself and my partner were fairly big babies and I have a very big head (hats don't fit me!)
My partner was 2 weeks early and still 8lbs. So goodness knows what he would have been, had he been on time! His brother was over 9lbs. So I'm pretty sure our baby will be big.

I have heard PND can develop after a difficult labour and I don't want to go through that. I'm in the category for it due to a history of anxiety and depression.

Also, emergency c sections are a lot worse than planned/elective ones because the woman is already exhausted/had traumatic experience/in pain. Elective apparently seem a lot better. I've done lots of research!

Sorry I've just realised it looks strange, I've posted with two different names!
I've changed my username. I am the OP.

I've been to my GP today and booked in to speak to a female doctor in a few weeks time about my concerns.
Thanks all. I'm pretty much set on an elective c section when I get pregnant, so I hope the medical staff are supportive of my decision.

I had a traumatic first birth and refused to consider getting pregnant again unless I knew for absolute certain I would be allowed a elcs. I had counselling after my first birth as I had ptsd (it was an incredibly unfortunate set of circumstances, all investigations found no one at fault as it was so unforeseen so please don't let this put you off!).

I spoke to my midwife before I even got pregnant with dc2. She referred me to a consultant who told me there should be no reason I wouldn't get a elcs, but they wouldn't confirm until 34 weeks, then book me in at 38 weeks. I gave birth to dc1 very quickly at 37 weeks, live an hour drive from a hospital and the fact it wasn't a definite made me go private. It cost a year of saving up (about 22k altogether) but it was the best decision I ever made.

SpongeCake23 have you ever heard of a condition called vaginismus? The fear of pain inserting anything you've described all indicates symptoms of it to me. Are you able to be intimate without issues?

Your doctor may well want to do a pelvic exam so it's really important to be completely honest with them. Also, even if you had an elective section, it does not rule out the fact you need to be able to have examinations and smear tests for your own benefit in furture.

Please go and get this sorted asap, it's horrible to live with and there is help out there.

Also even with an ELCS you would need a catheter fitted and I had a couple of internal exams beforehand as they were concerned I was in active labour. I really hope you get it sorted.

Have you considered any form of counselling regarding this? In order to be approved for an elcs they may want some kind of 'proof' you've at least tried to address your fears.

I had one on the NHS and it was amazing. Best decision I ever made. Had it at 38 weeks and not once did I have anything inserted throughout the entire pregnancy.

I am 39 weeks and had exactly the same worries as you - I'm in the mindset that I didn't want a c-sec or a natural birth! I was terrified of getting pregnant but knew it was something I wanted.

All the appointments have been a challenge for me - anything medical terrifies me, to be honest I haven't really mentioned it to the midwives as there's not a great deal they can do. Bit by bit I got through all the blood tests, injections, antiD injection, even having my belly felt was a bit whaaaat? Having scans terrified me in case something was wrong!

I have been doing pregnancy yoga which has helped me with some breathing/coping techniques as well as positions, it has also been nice to be around other women who are feeling the same.

I didn't do hypnbirthing but this might help you (even if having a c-sec) I found it a bit expensive and I struggle to fully relax so didn't go for it.

Now I'm at the end of the pregnancy, I'm so ready to have my body back, I've been really calm - apart from a few tears recently after hearing some horrible stories but all it takes is to read some good birthing stories to bring me back. I am genuinely absolutely terrified but you can't let things you're afraid of stop you living your life!

You are right though, you can't let it ruin your pregnancy, it's not good for you or the baby- and it's a wasted energy because it's something you HAVE to go through so try to remember this through the harder times.

Hi,

I have no problems with sexual intercourse, just inserting 'foreign objects' as it were!

I will research into that condition though. Thanks.

Hi,

I have no problems with sexual intercourse, just inserting 'foreign objects' as it were!

I will research into that condition though. Thanks.