ELCS & a toddler

[justkeepswimmingg]

Hi everyone, was wondering if I could possibly pick your brains about coping with an ELCS whilst having a toddler?

I don't want to drip feed, but I need to have an ELCS in the next 2-3 weeks.
My issue is that DH is self employed, and money is tight right now. We've had issues such as car repairs needing to be done, and other costs to pay out for. Therefore DH can only take a maximum of a week off work, as we no longer have the money we saved up to use, and money will be horrendous. I don't even think a week off is possible tbh.

My mum and sister can help with toddler, whilst I'm in hospital, so that DH can be with me and help for the first few days. Once I go home they can only help for a few hours here and there, but without going into reasons, that's all they can offer.

So potentially 5-7 days after my c section I'm going to be home alone with a newborn, and toddler, whilst recovering from a c section. Also a very needy dog.
Toddler is potty trained, can walk and down the stairs alone and is sleeping in a bed, so no issue with nappy changes or lifting. TV will only entertain toddler for so long. Toddler also doesn't nap anymore, and is super clingy recently .

Has anyone else found themselves in this position, and how did you cope? Is there anything I should do now to make life easier when I get home (aside from cleaning and batching cooking)?

Also was your partner able to stay with you in hospital, for at least the first night after a c section? How was your recovery, and how long did you stay in hospital?
Sorry for so many questions

Thank you!

Planning is your friend here!

I had an ELCS 3 weeks ago and have a, now 2 year old, toddler at home too (also clingy with the added joy of sleep regression). DH also works for himself so large chunks of time off weren't possible.

I was discharged 24 hours after the CS. As it was a 5pm procedure the midwives were happy for DH to stay overnight with me, but we decided that he'd wait until I had feeling back and could eat something then he'd go home to get a good nights rest and be there for DS waking up in the morning. Top tip here is to say yes to the painkillers on offer and keep up with them once you're home. By the time it feels like you might have 'done a bit much', you've definitely overdone it.

The first week was the hardest in recovery terms, so we made sure all the shopping and food prep was sorted beforehand. I then wrote a list of tasks which I knew would be a struggle initially and asked DH (and my parents who came to help) if they could assist with these specifically, so stuff like washing clothes, bending down to get into the bottom of the fridge, carrying things up/down stairs, making beds, lifting DS in/out of the bath/bed and occupying DS.

We also made sure the downstairs loo was stocked with a mini wash bag, maternity pads, spare pants and lanolin to save moving about too much. Keep a couple of inco sheets handy - they can go on the toilet lid after a shower so you can stay seated to dress. DH got me some walking poles to use on the stairs which really helped reduce the pressure when walking. We set up small changing spaces upstairs and downstairs to reduce carrying baby about, and DH did all the night time lifting into and out of the cot.

A sling or wrap is really handy as it leaves both hands free for your toddler/other tasks.

For the second week onwards you'll have a better idea of which tasks you're ok with and which you still need help with. Prepare your family to help with those tasks when they can be with you so that you don't have to worry about them. You can gradually pick them up again as you feel able. It's also best to accept now that your house will look like a tip, compared to your normal standards, for the first few weeks.

Finding time to lie flat each day really helped me - even if only 5/10 minutes here and there. I didn't do this first time (EMCS) and can feel how much it helps this time.

Sorry, that's a lot of stuff, hopefully it's helpful though. Those first days pass faster than you expect - good luck

Hi Duggee, thanks so much for your reply. I really appreciate it, you've made me a lot less nervous .

I just had an ELCS five months ago and I would say , rest rest rest !! I have a ten year old no toddlers but basically I now have a post op hernia which I have to have an op to repair and I believe it was because I did way too much .
Do not iron for weeks honestly take your time . If you have to let house work slip then do .
As you said definitely batch cook.
Partner was allowed to sleep first night then stayed till 10pm following nights .

Take all the help you can get but pls pls don't over do it . I couldn't help myself and didn't have any help either and I've made a mess .
Saying that my sister had a c section with no after problems and she doesn't stop either .
Good luck I hope you get lots of cuddles and rest with your babies .

Watching this for tips as will be having a section in Jan and also have a 3yo. I have lots of time to plan though so am hoping I can sort some help by then! I had a section with DS and the first few days were awful, but think I was definitely ok by about 12-14 days as DH went back to work by then.

I found giving my DS 'jobs' to do helped. E.g. Can you go upstairs and fetch me a muslin cloth please? Can you talk to the baby and tell her a nice story? Can you help mummy with this/that/something else? That way he felt involved and needed and wanted to be helpful as he was getting so much praise and attention. The novelty of a new baby is your friend here. Hope all goes well for you and your recovery isn't too bad. I was totally unprepared for how difficult the first few days were, but every day did get a lot easier.

I did this, 4 years ago now, 5 weeks before DS was 2, yes it's hard, but it's definitely doable, planning is definitely your friend, keep everything as close as possible, have your toddler do lots of 'jobs' collecting things, the first week is tough but it gets better after that, we were back as toddler groups etc in week 4 before we all went crazy

You're welcome swimmingg!

The other thing I forgot to mention was lactulose. Request some to take home as it makes becoming regular again quicker and easier!