Sex after childbirth

[segc94]

Okay, so I've just given birth to a gorgeous little girl a week ago. Now I'm in no way whatsoever ready to have sex with my partner but I must admit, the thought slightly scares me! 
Does it hurt?!
how long did you wait?
Did it feel any different? (I've heard sometimes it can feel better but I don't believe it haha)
Did your partner notice any difference?

I'm feeling slightly nervous about it and lost a bit of confidence that I won't be able to 'preform' the same way I could 😩 help

We had sex after 2 weeks - it was a bit sore and we had to be slow and careful, but it felt lovely and DP swore blind (and maintains to this day) that it felt absolutely no different and if anything better than ever for him. He's a very kind man though, and would never in a million years confirm my suspicion that things have irretrievably loosened! The discomfort eased over time, and after about 2 months it was completely comfortable and back to normal. I'd say we have a better sex life now than pre DC, because we're so close and comfortable together. Less frequent though because we're exhausted!

I waited 9 weeks I think because I was bleeding, I'd tore and the risk of infection.

It was a bit sore but comparable to the recent 10lb baby that had emerged from there 2 months prior absolutely fine. My partner didn't notice a difference.

Cynara - eeeek two weeks that's good! However I think it'd be a bit too soon for me It's still slightly sore/achey (I think that's normal?!) I suffered from two 1st degree tears. Hope our sex life gets better! Feel like it slowly deteriorated when I found out I was pregnant ☹️

4 months and still not done it. Well two attempts that had to be abandoned. I don't think I've healed properly though. When you have your six week check, insist on having your stitches looked at if you had any.

With my first child though think it was about 3 weeks and it was fine.

We DTD 6 weeks after a VB involving episiotomy, forceps and lots of bruising. I was aware of the episiotomy site but it wasn't painful.

Gunting - 9 weeks sounds reasonable to me to be honest! I honestly can't even begin to imagine sex right now. I'm not in agonising pain, just an annoying ache but still enough to make me have the fear haha!
How long did it take you to heal down there?

You're advised to wait 6 weeks so you can heal and to prevent infection we waited around 13 weeks as I was 1) too scared to do it any sooner and 2) too tired to care about it before then. My poor DP haha

I had an awful birth (daren't even ask about the stitches!!) and couldn't even consider it until 3 months...too tired, too achy, too scared!!! Everything was fine just don't put pressure on yourself, I found having a little drink before helped me to relax a bit more too any excuse though haha

Did it hurt - a little, we had to go very slow, but I very much wanted to! Would never have done it if it had been a case of 'going along with it'
How long - between 4-10 weeks (3 kids lol)
Did it feel different - better! once the initial 'entrance' (lol) was dealt with and we'd eased into it. Kept it slow first few times. For about 6m after birth I get the most amazing sensations and orgasms. Think something to do with the stretching exposing more nerves? Then my body must get used to it and it goes back to normal (which is still great!)
Different for partner - he says not, but then I get swollen down there in third trimester anyway so I think it wasn't a huge change IYSWIM. I pushed him on it and he says it's hard to say if it feels different or not because he's so focused on being careful and wanting me to enjoy it he's not scoring it out of ten lol. Still incredibly enjoyable which is all that matters!

Don't rush, it will be fine. Bizarrely, I am much more relaxed in the bedroom after having the DC even though I'm flabbier and stretch marked, and it's better than it was before!

I waited 10 weeks after my first, but it was quite sore so waited another 2 or 3 months after that. My scar wasn't healing properly so it was painful until about 9 months and some treatment from the GP. After that though it was much better and I think my sex drive has actually increased, tiredness permitting.
Take your time, there's no rush. Everyone is different and there's no right time. When you do decide to have a go I recommend lots of foreplay and to use lots of lube, especially if you're breastfeeding, as that can make you quite dry. Have fun!

And congratulations on your little girl!

I had a terrible birth, forceps & huge episotomy but wasn't in much pain day to day after a few weeks.

Did it hurt - So much so we had to stop. Take it slow, use lots of lube and talk before hand about what if hurts etc.
How long - 9 weeks before the first time, about the same again until we attempted it again.
Did it feel different - My husband said I felt tighter, which neither of us had been expecting and I felt tighter, but not in a good way, more a hurting like my firs time sort of way. Once it was no longer painful I think it feels different, but my episiotomy has caused nerve damage so that's to be expected. It's not different for everyone.
Different for partner - he says not other than a bit tighter, but he wouldn't say if it did as I'm really unconfident (is that eve a word!) about sex now so he wouldn't say anything that put me off.

Just give it a try when you feel ready. It's taken 19months and counting for the pain to go and the enjoyment to come back but from what I hear I'm reasonably rare in that. It's mainly due to the massive amount of scar tissue I have and the tightness of my pelvic floor muscles, I've had physio and it's definitely easing.

I also had a lot of emotional baggage (ishoos) around sex after birth. My labour was really traumatic for me and I had undiagnosed PND and possible PTSD which impacted on it, as well as breastfeeding which really dried me up and took away my labido, I also had birth injury and was so ridiculously concerned about getting pregnant again that t made the whole thing really hard!

We waited three weeks until my stitches appeared to have healed. I had a spinal block and an epistomey.
I was desperate for sex by three weeks and couldn't wait! I reckon we could have after about two weeks but I was going back on the pill and you are told to take it at day 21 PP for it to work effectively!

It felt slightly uncomfortable at first, I insisted on having a lot of sex until it stopped being uncomfy, probably after a couple of weeks it felt normal again.
Personally I think the better to get it over and done with and get over that hurdle!

We tried after 8 weeks but I couldn't go through with it as it just felt weird and different and still a bit sore. We tried again and managed it at 12 weeks and I'll be honest that it was sore and it took quite a few more months for it to feel normal and enjoyable for me. But I would say that it's better now than it's ever been, maybe because it's not so often so is a bit more exciting or maybe because of the way things have changed down there I'm not sure. I would just say wait until you're ready then don't expect fireworks but also don't despair you'll get there and it'll be good (if not better) again

About 12 weeks with first. It was agony for months. It always felt like they stitched me up too tight, not sure if that's possible! After dc2 it was about 6/ 8 weeks I think and much less painful although still a little sore a few months down the line.

We waited about 7 weeks and (luckily) there wasn't any pain/problems and that was with an episiotomy, forceps and 3rd degree tear.

I feel qualified to comment now that, ten months postpartum, I can finally have something approaching normal, painless sex again!

It was so awful at the start that I thought I was permanently out of action. It felt bizarrely tight and ached and scratched in weird places. Horrible. Orgasms also hurt and still do, though not so much as they did.

It gradually improved (dr told me to have sex gently if I could as this would help loosen things up).

I don't feel different down there but quite honestly I do not give a fuck DH is lucky he's getting any

Meant to say, I had ventouse and episiotomy

I'm amazed at some of this. 2-6 weeks you're still bleeding. Surely even if you're not painful the bleeding alone would put you off?! To be fair though, got me, even period sex is and will always be off the menu.

After dd1: 4 months
Dd2 (elcs): 8 weeks

Lochia is way worse than period blood. It stinks

I stopped bleeding at about 3 weeks so we started having sex again from that point. I had no tears or damage down below so it was fine, no pain at all. I had put DP on a sex ban from 37 weeks though as I didn't want baby to come before we moved house. She came two days before we moved in anyway so the sexual frustration was all for nothing!