Birthplans - how useful and did you forget anything?

[Lupe]

Has anyone got any tips for birthplans - I mean doesn't everyone just put in the obvious stuff like "would prefer not to be cut, induced unless absolutely necessary"?

Was there anything you wish you had put in yours that you remembered after (or during!) the event?

And do people really take any notice of them?

I didn't write one for either labours. I did however 'research' labour and was on the ball about things, I just felt that I would happily hand over my body to professionals to make clinical decisions for the health and wellbeing of myself and unborn child on each occasion. Each labour was fantastic, probably due to the low dose epidurals that I had. I'd do it all again if they didn't grow up!!!

Mummyintexas,

and this is off topic, sorry, Are there lots of people out there that have the whole family and friends party going on in the room as they give birth!!!!?

HAve seen several Discovery channel shows where this seems to be the case and am generally quite shocked. is this becasue they are having it filmed for TV and so everybody is going to see it anyway, or are Americans really into this "sharing" experience?

Do a birthplan if you want to - it's a fun part of the process and a nice way to pass the time while you're pregnant. It may work out the way you want and it may not. As far as I'm concerned, though, a birth plan is not half as important as a "getting through the first 6 weeks plan". There are a million things I wished I'd thought about and discussed with my partner before we brought dd home. In particular, I'd think about things like how determined you are to breastfeed and how you will cope if that isn't going well (if you are breastfeeding, repeated comments from well meaning aunties about the baby being hungry are a million times more annoying than repeated offers of pain relief during labour). Do you want to welcome lots of visitors to the house as soon as you get home? If not, how do you plan to keep them away? How are you going to cope with cooking etc - how much help can your partner and others give? There are loads of other things, but as this is slightly off the topic I won't go on. I'll just say that I would go through the birth every week rather than relive those first 6 weeks. Most of the trauma was caused by breastfeeding problems, so if you're going to write a plan for anything I would write one for how you want to breastfeed and what help you will ask for if that doesn't go the way you want. Hope that doesn't all sound too negative - there were lovely moments as well and it gets better and better. Best of luck

Kalex--I am interested in what mummyintexas has to say too. I know so many people that had their entire family there for the birth, but all we had was the dr, nurse, and my husband. I could not imagine wanting everyone to see me in such a state. I can't think of a worse distraction.

Gosh - people have the whole family....sounds a bit much to me! I'm probably not the best person to answer this as I'm not American...

I had the most amazing support team; my husband, my mother, my Doula and 2 midwives (they were changing shift and no-one else was in labour!). I hadn't planned on my mum being there, we'd discussed it before the event and I decided my dh should be the first to see our dd, however in all the comotion she stayed and it was fine. I was so 'in the zone' that I was hardly aware of who was there! We hired a Doula because, as you may have guessed by my previous post, we were/are very skeptical about the US health system (again, I'm not meaning to offend any Americans!) and I really wanted to have a sincere go at a completely natural birth (they don't even have gas & air here - I was gutted to learn when I was 38 weeks!). With the support team mentioned above we managed the birth we'd been planning and I'm so thankful.

When we're lucky enough to be pg again we might have a home birth and if dd is a good age I'd love her to be there, and my mum again if she is in the same country as me. I think as long as the labouring lady has no responsibilities towards others present and all children have someone else looking after them it shouldn't be too distracting.....and might even help lighten the mood between contractions.... We'll think about this more when the time comes!

I think Beatrice mentions some really good points, the first 6 weeks are very hard and I know they were much harder than I'd anticipated...

I think that birthplans are just that, i.e. plans and we all know what they say about the best laid plans...
For my first I thought it was compulsory to write one, as I thought it was to go with minimal pain relieving drugs, favourite music, hot/cold flannels, lipsave, quilt, extra pillows, glucose tablets, birthing stool (couldn't actually find one), good book, short (but not too short) nightie, snacks for husband, TENS machine, lavender oil (organic obviously), etc. etc. Without going into details of 25 h labour none of the above was of any use as I found my body took over and fortunately my brain (and the very kind words of a super-supportive GP) was still fully engaged and I was able to make the right choices for me at that time.

Birth no. 2 (again with a plan albeit a few lines) was in a wonderful maternity unit where I was fortunate to have established great relationships with the midwives. They knew me well enough to ask before doing anything I might have objected to but this didn't arise. Fantastic birth - very relaxed and confident.

Birth no. 3 with no plan in an unfamiliar and not particularly friendly hospital was still superb and I think this was because I knew exactly what to expect and what I can tolerate. Good job really as first contraction at 2.30 a.m., waters broke immediately after and son was born with 2 puffs of entonox at 4.05 a.m (boy were the roundabouts en route to hospital painful).

In short, I think birthplans are great the first time as you feel you are doing the right thing but the next time you learn to trust your own instincts and are able to convey these from experience (you are far less likely to feel patronised when you've been through one labour).

If there was ever to be a next time I don't think I'd even consider one - would I have the time?

Beatrice, that's funny - I've seen a lot of comments on the so-called '4th trimester' and how new parents don't anticipate this difficult time.

I've no idea what to expect, but I know I want to devote my time to recovering and getting the hang of breast feeding. I bullied DH into taking a month off work and I've told everyone I don't want any visitors for a month.

Any other suggestions welcome

Sorry to go back to the US/UK discussion... Collinsmommy, I'm so glad to hear that there are 'baby friendly' hospitals in the US. I'm Texan but had my baby in the UK. My American friends all seem to have had the epidural, tubes and monitors, Mom flat on her back with her legs in the air, big episiotomy experience of childbirth. Sounds like there are alternatives though.