Birthplans - how useful and did you forget anything?

[Lupe]

Has anyone got any tips for birthplans - I mean doesn't everyone just put in the obvious stuff like "would prefer not to be cut, induced unless absolutely necessary"?

Was there anything you wish you had put in yours that you remembered after (or during!) the event?

And do people really take any notice of them?

I had birth plans for both ds and dd and was glad I did. They were not hugely detailed - just general wishes but what really helped with dd (VBAC) is that I got my consultant to write "OK" to me being allowed longer in 2nd stage and to move around within reason, plus a few other things about my medical history. It gave me a lot of confidence that I would be able to labour on my own terms, and sure enough, when the duty staff (none of whom I'd met before as my team m/ws were busy elsewhere) saw her handwriting on my plan, it made a big difference.

Hi Zebra - I can imagine them wailing like no-ones business! Thankfully we manged to fight it off. The funniest (I have to laugh looking back but at the time I was disgusted) thing is when the BF consultant came to help us when dd was about 8 hours old she asked if she'd been bathed - I proudly said 'no, she's perfect as she is' - she then went off an got dressed up in scrubs/gloves/hat and a mask.....implying that my dd was unhygienic and filthy. Very upsetting for a new mum with hormones all over the shop!
FFS - they are born clean and gorgeous - they are not dirty. Much healthier attitude in the UK me thinks.

Mears, I'm really shocked to hear that some men act like this! I feel it's important for my wishes to be laid out in my birth plan to aid DH to implement them, if need be. But I also trust that he would support me if for any reason I did decide on further pain relief (he knows when not to mess with me, and labour would be one of those rare occasions ). I'm just shocked at the vision of a man not wanting to help relieve his beloved partner of pain!
IF (trying to use my imagination here!) I happened to be with a partner who lacked the perception and intuition to realise I really was in difficulty, I would hope that the midwife involved would discuss the possibilities with me fully, and if I was still adamant, that she would use her discretion and tact to override my huffing (virtual ) DH (assuming I hadn't already kicked him out!).

In a funny way though Mears, can't you see the men getting wrong WHATEVER they do. If they backed down when their partner was in agony i can see the women screaming afterwards, "I TOLD you i didn't want an epidural"

(I agree with you BTW, just saw the funny side of it! )

Difficult one isn't it? I have to say that in the end it is what the woman requests in the end that counts. I have had to have serious discussions with unwilling partners though. So sad when a woman believes she is a failure if she has to resort to an epidural. As most of you know I do not advocate them as a first method of pain relief but they can be very useful for labours not going according to plan.

I think Mears' point about the birth plan being a sign that the woman has researched labour is a good one.

I've been thinking about mine for a couple of months now (I'm 30wks) and it has changed about a million times as I've found out various bits of info (ALL from MN I hasten to add - no books in our house!).

10wks ago I was blissfully unware of how impt skin to skin was after birth and how I should NOT be separated from the baby until he'd had a wee feed......

10wks ago I thought a newborn would need a bath straight away cos I thought they were stinky...

Thanks to Mears, only a month ago I thought detergents were an absolute requirment to scrub off the blood and poo

And the list goes on............

i wrote a birth plan with dd1, but the midwife was horrible and didnt pay attention to it, and didnt listen to me when i was in labour. 'i want to push'-me
'no you dont mrs w, you are only 6cm, u were examined 30mins ago'-midwife
'but she needs to push, examine her again'- my mum
'not yet'-midwife

and so it went on

she finally examined me about 20mins later and found i was fully dilated and dd1 was about to be born

with dd2 i doubt they would have had much time to read a birth plan if i had written one. i got to the hospital at 6am, had dd2 at 7.47am. went from 5cm to 10 in that time.

Mummyintexas, glad to hear someone is standing up for the birth they want over there. I agree that the American system can be very impersonal and sometimes quite intimidating. Good for you!

I did write a birth plan but discovered that most of my requests were standard hospital procedure so there were no problems. In the end, nothing went to plan but that was just the way it worked on the day.

i think i'm very lucky where i live in sheffield because we have a one-to-one scheme with the midwife, so she comes to the house and does all the pre-natal monitioring and then shes the one who delivers the baby and then the same midwife does all the post-natal care too. So i had built up a good relationship with my wife and she knew me reasonably well too. So i didn't have a birth plan but had discussed everything with her before the birth other the months of visits. She knew i wanted as active a birth as possibel with minimal pain relief, i that i wanted to breastfeed. it was great

katzguk ... that is the same as in NZ ... best system ever ...
I had a detailed birthplan for DS and never looked at it once - ... I think that I am in the second MN book saying something like, "Write your birthplan then tear it up and chuck it in the bin" ... I didn't feel bitter or cynical or anything you understand when I wrote that on the last birth plan thread .
They obviously are useful but in my case it never occurred to me that I would have problems giving birth ... I think too much is made of them and first time mums need to be made aware that what they want to happen may not necessarily happen ...
Sorry if that isn't very helpful!

My birth plan was a complete waste of time. Beforehand I thought that I wanted to do things naturally, with plenty of supportinve conversation from my husband.

Once the pain hit, however, I demanded an epidural and snapped at my husband to shut up before I hit him (all his fault etc, etc).

I didn't make a birth plan for my second, as I obviously could not tell how I was going to feel and what I would want. I preferred to decide as it was happening.

I made one first time, don't think I took it out of the bag. (It did include an advance apology to anyone I swore at/punched/crapped on, though.)

Second time round I didn't bother, and then the lovely midwife asked for one! Er, I said, natural third stage if all goes to plan. The one thing that didn't!

yes it's very useful and also gives the midwife an idea of what kind of person you are, so do put down whale music or all available drugs or whatever.

with DS1 in hospital there was a point when i thought i might want an epidural, contrary to plan. the midwife reminded me of the plan and that i had stated i didn't want to have wires and drips, but if i had changed my mind of course i could have an epidural. i decided freedom of movement was more important to me and all went well and i was happy.

with DS2 at home with independent midwives, it was a good discussion document for the birth i wanted...

yes it's very useful and also gives the midwife an idea of what kind of person you are, so do put down whale music or all available drugs or whatever.

with DS1 in hospital there was a point when i thought i might want an epidural, contrary to plan. the midwife reminded me of the plan and that i had stated i didn't want to have wires and drips, but if i had changed my mind of course i could have an epidural. (no mobile epidurals at that hospital) i decided freedom of movement was more important to me and all went well and i was happy.

with DS2 at home with independent midwives, it was a good discussion document for the birth i wanted...

also just practising what you or partner want to say or decide is good, even if it never leaves your bag

It seems as if people treat a birthplan as a sort of Prescriptive Blueprint for their ideal imagined birth - whereas shouldn't it be a guide for the approach you would like to adopt in any given situation?
Mine included all the usual 'natural birth' factors - but said that if any interventions where thought necessary, I would like them explained to me in terms of what, why, what would be the result of doing nothing, and where there any alternatives.
Also outlined to MWs the sort of general outlook, and how I generally respond to stress, crisis etc.

The MWs read it and took it on board 100%, and tho' we did resort to a wide range of interventions, thsy continued to stick to my plan long after i had ceased to care! Which made me feel hugely 'at the centre' and in control.

I didn't make one, although had some views about what I didn't want (being cut, forceps etc....) in the end all irrelevant as ds was induced on medical grounds, and I was well and truely in their hands - all got very rushed and I just went with what they felt was best. Narrowly escaped the C' section, but forceps and cutting happened (past caring by that point, wanted it over, and to know ds was okay...)
Think you do need to have some ideas about what you want/don't want, but need also to be aware that it may all just go to pot in the heat of the moment.
Last thing you need (and this happened to an aquaintence) is dh serenly saying 'she doesn't want drugs, its here in the birth plan' when you are screaming 'give me everything you've got'. This particular dh was eventually told to 'butt out'!

this is all really useful stuff. I have filled out the birthplan provided with my maternity notes and think the most useful thing was doing it with my DH - and I don't think he would have been able to participate at all if he hadn't come to a couple of my antenatal classes with me.

I'm interested in pupuce's comments on putting what is out of the ordinary and a couple of other comments as well - what are the reasons not to have syntometrine or vitamin K?

Also, do people think it is reasonable to ask not to have a student midwife carry out any but the most basic procedures? I had to go into hospital to have a fetal trace done and it took the student midwife a good 10 minutes or so to even find the heartbeat. I hadn't been expecting this as my MW always finds the heartbeat really quickly and it absolutely terrified me (I am generally a fairly laidback person).

In general I am positive about my forthcoming labour but being a first timer I have absolutely no idea about what to expect! I'm not even sure what my pain threshold is like 'cos I've been lucky enough not to have any serious injuries/illnesses really. The one thing I do have a morbid dread of is the whole epidural/forcep/episiotomy route - I actually find the idea of a section less worrying. Is this a normal reaction and/or am I overanticipating something which isn't necessarily that bad?

I absoluted hated the idea of being cut (and can still feel my bits trying to climb up inside at the very thought...) and also, like you, had no idea what my pain threshold would be....
In the end I had an epidural because I couldn't handle the contractions anymore (and gas and air wasn't working - I went from 1cm to 9 in about 2 hours so the contractions were fast and furious with no real time to get into the swing of it as it were...) The epidural was fine, so when it got to the episiotomy I couldn't feel a thing (had been topped up for a C section...)

Best piece of advice I was given was 'don't rule anything in or anything out' on the pain relief front. I probably need to duck saying this, but I really get wound up by mothers who bang on about how they did it without drugs and look down on women who did use drugs/intervention like they have somehow 'failed'.

In the end you just have to go with it....

I didn't bother writing a birth plan for either of my pregnancies. As I didn't know what to expect I didn't really know what to put. All I knew was that I wanted every drug going but in the end didn't get time for anything for either pregnancey. I used to joke through my pregnancies I just want to sneeze and the baby be there. In the end that was literally what happened!!!!!!

MummyinTexas--or someone else? As an American, just curious about the differences in birthing styles. What is it that is different and more impersonal over here?? I'm not put off about those comments, just very curious now.

Hi Colinsmommy - sorry this is long!
I'm not sure I'm the best person to answer this - I've only had experience of giving birth over here (Texas) but I had imagined that things would be a bit more natural back home (UK). I find the highly medicalised approach used here (at least in my experience) quite scary and I'm not sure why nearly all births are handled by male OB/GYN's - it just makes more sense (to me) to give birth with a female midwife. I know that to have the natural, gentle & active birth I wanted was quite a battle. I managed to find a hospital which had baths in the delivery room so I could labour in water if I wanted, it also had strategically placed bars for squatting.... Most of the Americans I have met (and by no means do I wish to imply that all are like this - most are lovely!) thought I was crazy not to want an epidural the second I went into labour. When we went for our hospital tour the crowd was asked who had NOT pre-signed for an epidural, out of 20 couples we were the only ones.....

When I was discussing my birth plan with my OB/GYN he said (and I quote) "I don't mind what you do when you're in labour, so long as you have an IV drip and constant fetal monitoring you can try and do whatever you want, if you're determined to have a natural childbirth you can do it even if you can't move"
My dh and I immediately left his practise and joined a wonderful group of midwives - who helped us to have the most wonderful birth experience. When I had my first appointment with the midwives (at 35 weeks!) I realised that my OB/GYN had NEVER TOUCHED MY BUMP except to move the ultrasound thingy around and to measure the fundal height. It was so nice to have an experienced, gentle, kind person feel my bump and describe to me, through touch, where my dd was, how she was lying etc. I hadn't realised until then what I'd been missing. My dh & I left the appointment grinning from ear to ear.

I also found the constant weighing quite tiring - I had lots of lectures from my OB/GYN about gaining too much weight...quite depressing when you feel like a whale!

I don't know if in the UK women can wear their own clothes routinely whilst in labour but I know the nurse we had wanted me to put a lovely green smock on (we politely asked if I could wear my own clothes - she eventually agreed).

I'm not sure that birth is less personal here - I'm not sure if that is the right phrase, but I certainly feel that there is harder to have a natural birth, or in fact to have less intervention.

I don't know! I've got myself in a muddle now.....sorry!

The midwifes who delivered my ds were wonderful and tried to follow my birthplan wherever possible. I listed the same types of things on my birth plan as everyone else here, and I also let them know it was a guideline and I understood things may change.

However, I did want to respond to Lupe as I put on my birthplan that it would be ok for one student midwife to assist delivery. It was nice in one aspect as I ended up having one more person attending to me during labour. However, the student midwife is the one who delivered my baby and unfortunately it seems I would not have torn so badly if she had been a bit more experienced.

I kind of see what you mean. I think maybe I got lucky where I gave birth. The one and only hospital here is certified "baby friendly" (whatever that means), and it seems like I had a different birthing experience than most people. I had a choice of birthing balls, water births, etc. that they told you about when you did the manditory tour of the hospital before you gave birth. They put Colin on me from the minute he was born, and did the apgar(sp?)test and everything on my tummy. They took him away and wrapped him up, but only because I was so hot, I had the air conditioning on full blast, and said he really needed blankets. They didn't clean him off until I was delivering the placenta, and they didn't give him a bath. They had gowns there for him, but asked if I had brought something for him(Which I had) and put that on. They didn't put the ointment on his eyes right away because they wanted him to have time to see me as best he could. They encouraged me to nurse right away, and the nurse stayed to help if I needed. They let me labor in the nude (I was way too warm and figured that they would be seeing most of me anyway.)The hospital doesn't even have a nursery, they only have an NICU for babies doing poorly. They expect you to keep them in your room. And they were very very encouraging to me for natural birth, (I was too far along to get an epidural, but didn't take anything else at that point) and never asked me if I wanted something, just said to tell them if I needed something. I wonder if that is what "baby friendly" means, or if it was because I had a woman dr, and a nurse who used to be a midwife? But like I said, I don't know anyone else who isn't from here that had that experience. Sorry THIS post is so long.

I never got round to making a birth plan for either of my labours as they both arrived the day before I was supposed to write it with my midwife! However they both pretty much went how I wanted them to.

I went into GREAT detail with my first one, so much so that the obstectrician actually thought I was a medic! My husband still phsl about that one now. I think they followed it as much as possible but it was a nightmare birth and things really didnt go to plan. For my 2nd I had an elective section so didnt write one but made my wishes clear that I wanted a spinal and I wanted dh to have the baby after etc.