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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Home birth - I'm sure this has been done to death sorry!

6 replies

SiteSafety · 18/07/2017 14:42

I'm planning on a home birth but starting to waver and would really
Love some experiences from other people. The reasons I'm thinking maybe not:

The mess, honestly I've enjoyed my DH being able to stay head end for my other births and whilst they've been natural active labours and births it hasn't felt too undignified. Sorry if that offends anyone but honestly I don't want DH sifting poo out of a pool. I know he's my DH and that sounds mad but it will make me feel self conscious. Generally as well would like to come back to a clean and tidy house. I know that makes me sound like a nut job and I'm usually pretty casual about things being clean and tidy but our house and life are SO chaotic I do want some calm right after the birth.

The faff of setting up a birth pool. DH is so lovely but SO unassertive. I've spent the births of all our children feeling a bit sorry for him tbh! I don't love the idea of him
Having to sort that out and generally just the farcical nature of it all makes it feel not hugely relaxing.

The birth centre that I had my last DC at was amazing. Huge big bed, lots of space, pool etc. Ten mins from my house. I partly think why not just go there, have almost the same experience and it might be nice to be able to come back home from a different setting?

So can people tell me any experiences? Especially your DHs' experiences.

OP posts:
altkat · 18/07/2017 15:00

I had a home birth for my DS (first child, now 11 months) and while I loved it in some ways there was a lot of faff.

Setting up the pool was fine, but I did have to go to the birth centre at 6am to be checked (waters broke 2:30am, no labour beforehand) which was annoying. I'm not sure if this is usual though. Labouring at home was ok, if painful. When the midwives arrived they'd forgotten the house for the gas and air so I was 7cm before any pain relief. It turns out I'm a massive wimp so that's something I'd definitely check.

Birth was fine, did delayed cord clamping and skin to skin but birthing the placenta on towels on the floor was a bit Confused. Midwives made me a cup of tea, checked DS was feeding ok then left. Now comes the faff. At this point we have a full birthing pool filled with yuck, a lot of bloody towels and no energy. I will be forever grateful to my father for helping my husband drain the pool through the french doors into the drain outside. We do not speak of the sieve, which was used but I remember nothing of.

It was pretty crap to feel like we had to clean up everything before doting grandparents arrived! (We didn't, but felt we should have.) On the other hand this was my first child so I have nothing to compare it to. IF we had another I think I'd go the birth centre route purely to avoid the clean up! But my labour was fairly fast for a first (6 hours from first contraction to baby) so I felt a bit like I'd had no time to project manage things (he was also 4 days early). DH was a star for the whole thing and says he loved the experience but tbh wouldn't have cared where I gave birth. He's usually a ditherer but I must say that labour pushed him into a scarily competent mode. Your mileage may vary Wink.

Bit of a ramble but I hope it helps a bit!

gaggiagirl · 18/07/2017 15:04

I had a dry home birth.
No way was I messing on with a birth pool.
Shower curtain and pile of old towels.
Rolled up and binned immediately after the birth so we were back to clean and tidy calm very quickly afterwards.

Ilovewillow · 18/07/2017 15:06

By the sound of it it depends in the midwives and nhs trust! We had a homebirth for my second as we had a five yr old and no family nearby so it made sense. It was awesome and I would do it again it I weren't 45! My husband still stayed head end although the midwives did lots of sieving! I gave birth in the pool and my husband did clean it out later but assures me it wasn't too bad. Our midwives stayed for a while and helped me shower and made sure my son was feeding well! They also had a good chat with my daughter! The placenta was a bit grim in towels in the dining room.

I needed stitches which was an event involving a miners headlamp and an angle poise lamp, some dining room chairs - a bit of an out of body experience! Would I do it again though - absolutely!

gaggiagirl · 18/07/2017 15:07

Oh sorry I should have added that I sent DH on the school run and gave birth without him. He came home and did the tidying away of stuff. Held the baby while I was examined. He made the midwives tea while they did paperwork. He was kept very busy and felt very useful and he was comfortable in his own environment.

thecakefairy · 18/07/2017 15:20

I had a home birth with my second.
No birthing pool, just in bed.
The midwife just put a big pad on the bed (plastic backed with lots of absorbent layers) and it just got scooped up into the bin and taken away.
Bad things:
The labour was longer than my first. 4 hours first, 13 second.
The gas and air connector didn't fit on the new bottle, so did the last two hours without pain relief. Eek!
Had a sudden bleed and ambulance almost called but it stopped abruptly and I was ok.
My now ex-husband mainly fell asleep on our bed so was no use whatsoever!
Good Things:
Once everyone had gone, I felt like I could really enjoy my baby and relax.
I could have a decent sleep. The hospital I had my DS in was like Piccadilly Circus. I didn't sleep well for the 4 days I was there.
I could stuff a massive dinner in without feeling like I should be a bit more refined. I hadn't eaten all day which is a world record for me!
I really enjoyed it and would definitely choose home birth over hospital but that's all I know.
Also, both my children are grown up now and I'm 47, so not really planning any more!

SiteSafety · 18/07/2017 16:05

Thanks so much everyone this is massively helpful.

At my birthing centre unless something had gone wrong and had ended up in the labour ward I'd be home within two hours. Assuming all goes according to plan I wouldn't have to do any staying on the ward (which I have done before and was horrific).

But alsoy midwives say that they pride themselves on doing all the clean up and leaving the house as it was before. So I guess they do the pool emptying..?

I'm not too worried about pain. I made it to 8cm before going into the hospital last time so I guess I should manage ????? Confused

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