Options after previous traumatic delivery , involves talk of loss and may be triggering.

[ChickenBhuna]

Hi all,
I'm after some advice regarding my options for delivery and how to approach this conversation with my midwife.

I have had two normal vaginal deliveries with an episiotomy each time but a good recovery. I also however had a tfmr last year. Our baby had a condition that was not compatible with life and I was induced over three long days before saying goodbye to her.

I am now in my third trimester with baby no.4 all is going well and feel very , dare I say , blessed to be carrying this baby. Anyway I'm absolutely terrified about giving birth and having had an induction last time in such circumstances (and knowing my body seems to go overdue) I am horrified at having another induction as even though these are happier times , it'll all servers a reminder of last year.

I don't know what I'm asking tbh , I guess I would like to hear positives and any help with what may be available to me to help make this birth less terrifying. Does anyone have any experiences to share?

Thanks.

Tbh I think you should have talked to yOur MW a long time ago. You need to tell her just what you've said in your OP.
There is plenty available, from seeing a counsellor specialised in that sort of situation that would help you talk through the different options as well as maybe calming some of the fears down.
To reviewing the different options (from a natural birth again to a CS) with your MW and consultant. Incl the fact that what you want to avoid is another induction.

When will you see your MW next?

Sorry somehow part of my post is missing. It was supposed to start with

this must have been a terrifying ordeal. And it's totally understandable that this is a really hard time for you to be in.

Thanks for your response.

I am seeing her next week and it's only now I've started to panic about the birth! I think I was taking it one step at a time and didn't consider it all until now.

No need to apologise , purplepeppers , I'm happy to read anything of help :-)

Just tell her her.
Serioulsy she will be very used to deal with that sort of situation and if she is any good will be able to guide you.
I would ask to review your options re the birthwith a consultant as well as maybe reviewing what has happened last year and why the induction took so long (aka if you were to be induced this time, will it be the same etc...).
Please don't hide your fears from her. She can't guess how terrified you are and you really need to let her know so she can take the appropriate actions.

Fwiw, I know a few mums who have been giving birth after a still birth/very difficult birth and they've all been very well supported by the MW.

Thank you , I will definitely say all of this.

The hospital have been amazing so far so I'm hoping this will be handled well. Ultimately I will do whatever gets this little one here safely but this is a conversation that needs to be had.