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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

39w and being messed about

9 replies

Fwaltz · 12/07/2017 22:51

Anyone else had experience of being totally messed about re: elective c-section?
Due to having ante-natal depression, I was adamant that I wanted a plan putting in place that would enable some tiny fragment of stability for the birth, and for my husband and I, the option that we felt was most solid was an elective section. I spoke to a consultant who was overseeing me in blood pressure clinic (pre-existing and well managed high BP) and he told me all the horror stories he could to put me off, but following this, we decided to still proceed as planned as we get the mental risks were more risky for me than physical ones. My midwife duly booked in the section for 13th July, so we felt really happy that everything g was organised and we could plan accordingly. I then got a call from her last Thursday saying that the blood pressure consultant I'd spoken to wouldn't sign it off as he wanted someone from the gestational diabetes team to 'own' it, so I went into a bit of a panic as this didn't allow much time to really speak to anyone as the diabetes team couldn't see me until Tuesday this week (11 July). I spoke to the midwife who assured me it was just a paper exercise and it would all be fine. Not so. The diabetes consultant refused point blank to authorise it, and instead admitted me to hospital on Tuesday afternoon to 'monitor my blood sugar more closely' - which has actually involved me doing the exact same monitoring I do at home MYSELF and telling her what the results are, which I could have easily done by phone. I got no sleep at all being on a ward and my stress levels went through the roof.

I am just absolutely furious that they have paid absolutely no attention to the psychological aspect of my birth plan. I wasn't having a section because I wanted to avoid childbirth, it was because I am only clinging on by a thread to my mental health and couldn't face the stress of being in hospital for an extended period for BS reasons. They left me completely in limbo yesterday with no direction on what the next steps would be, which caused massive stress for me, and only rolled in at 3pm today to say they now plan to induce me tomorrow (again, with no consultation or discussion to see if that's what we want!), which I have read often ends in a section anyway, so I will have ended up with literally the worst outcome they could have devised for me.

I am soooooooo angry and upset that I've been put in this situation and that mine and my husband's choices have been completely disregarded. The fact that the consultant wouldn't even engage with the topic was also bang out of order - and she is now overseeing the induction which makes me hugely uncomfortable as I don't want her anywhere near me. To add insult to injury, they also made me wear compression socks last night that were so tight that they have cut welts into my legs.

This is at kings college hospital too, which is supposed to be good!!!! Absolutely awful experience so far.

Does anyone have any experience of how to try and come back from such a massive change of plans at the last minute? I feel completely overwhelmed and disconnected from the baby now which is making me sick with guilt.

OP posts:
GlitteryFluff · 12/07/2017 22:54

You don't have to accept an induction.
You can refuse.
They can't force you.
Flowers

Hammy12345 · 12/07/2017 22:57

Remember it's your body and your decision. They can't force you to be induced. Is there a Perinatal Mental Health Team in your area who you can be referred to, who can support you? Most maternity units also have a midwife who takes a lead in Mental Health. Please ask if there is one in your unit.

EpoxyResin · 12/07/2017 22:59

Tell them that by all means if it is the best interests of baby to hasten his/her arrival that you would be happy to do so by consenting to a section rather than an induction. Honestly I'm angry on your behalf - I absolutely despair about the treatment of pregnant women regarding childbirth.

Apocalyptichorsewoman · 13/07/2017 06:35

If you are at kings,you are opposite the maudsley,and they certainly have perinatal MH - have they been involved at all, or would that be a possibility? No wonder you are raging, you must feel beside yourself Flowers

welshweasel · 13/07/2017 06:38

That's appalling. Say no to the induction. Keep repeating that you want a section. Go to PALS. Do you have a friend or family member that can help advocate for you?

Do not be pushed into doing something that you don't want, they cannot force you to be induced.

EpoxyResin · 13/07/2017 11:17

By the way I should add I had an induction to the point of being almost fully dilated... at which point I refused the continued use of the syntocinon drip which meant they had to grant me the section I'd been begging for for hours.

There were of course a boat load of reason why I thought a section was best (not least because ds's heart rate kept tanking) and it wasn't until a kindly midwife took pity on me and slyly told me I could infact withdraw consent for the induction even at that stage, which would mean the patronising bitch doctors who were obstructing any chance of a section would have to oblige.

It wasn't plain sailing or indeed ideal for either me or baby to do it that way, but I'm glad I did, and I'm only telling you in case you find yourself half way down a path you don't want to be going down wondering if it's too late to turn back...

EpoxyResin · 13/07/2017 11:20

...or perhaps you've gone for the induction and you'll be pleasantly surprised and find yourself completely zen with the change of plans after all! But I'll be thinking of you today - good luck :)

mimiholls · 13/07/2017 13:16

The midwife shouldn't have signed off on a cs, they have no authority to make that decision only a consultant does. Yes definitely refuse induction and say you want the cs that you were under the impression was planned. You need to get to see the consultant as soon as you can and be pushy.

Ginlinessisnexttogodliness · 15/07/2017 10:18

Like others have said it is perfectly within your rights to refuse an induction, that doesn't necessarily mean you get your section signed off though and going overdue increases the chances of going into spontaneous labour.

For various reasons with both my two children I can totally empathise with feeling completely pissed about by midwives and consultants who didn't see, to be communicating at all. However in your case I think it is the midwife who has incorrectly managed your expectations. She (assuming she) has no jurisdiction to authorise an elective section for any reason, that will always be down to the consultant you are under. Unless your valid reasons in terms of the effect this has been having upon your mental health have been explained they are often a bit dismissive and glib. You might find though that another consultant signs it off no problem, although I think cost implications are sadly becoming more prevalent.

I would clarify exactly why your midwife has behaved this way tbh.

I hope things get resolved for you and you get the outcome you want. Good luck with the birth too.

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