Feeling the urge to push but only 1cm dilated? Was it my fault that birth ended in C section?

[annaspanna]

My ED is today with db2. I know it a really late time to want to debrief last childbirth but i feel i need some help to understand what went wrong and give it some closure so i can feel more positive this time round?

Sorry for the Long story but my was BP high from the start. Steady strong regular contractions for 12 hours.Had gas & air from 10 hrs . At 12 hrs my waters broke with gush & full of meconium. Almost immediate urge to push. After being examined and being told i was only 1 cm dilated I was horrified. The contractions were coming one on top of the other & was on gas & air but have little memory of this time. Just remember coming round while anaesthatist was giving me an epidural! Epidural didn't work anyway. I had flashbacks for months afterwards. I felt like a complete tit & that i failed. Ended up with foetal distress & emergency CS quickly followed.

Sorry for going on. What i really want to know is can you have the urge to push but only be 1 cm dilated & did i agravate the dilation process by pushing? Still want VBAC despite all this though if i can. Just hoping i'm not too iverdue.

Someone will be along in a moment with knowledge - but wanted to say: no, it was most definitely not your fault

Thanks doggie.

Also forgot to say that it was another 12 hours after waters breaking & was 9 cm dilated when examined by consultant who decided to do CS. So was 24 hrs before CS.

annaspanna, definitely not your fault, and you shouldn't feel 'a complete tit'. If there was meconium then I guess the baby was already in some distress?

Good luck with your birth this time - hope you get the birth you want.

Sounds awful! for you.

I doubt there was anything you could have done differently by the sound of it. It's pretty hard not to push when the contractions are overlapping and you feel the urge. I would just put it down to bad luck and accept that you'll be more prepared this time since you know what to expect if it goes wrong. Everything I've heard and read says second birth is usually easier too, that made me feel better when I hit my due date with second pregnancy!

Do you plan to use pain relief this time? Just wondering if planning to use more pain relief from the start might make you feel like you'll be more in control IYSWIM.

I would agree with what fliberygibbet said. From what I remember when you get that urge to push it is near on impossible not to. It was not your fault. Good luck with this one, hope it all goes really smoothly for you.

you didn't 'fail' last time - I'd say the complete opposite and that you were really strong to have got through contractions like that plus to have had an epidural that didn't work.

best wishes for db2 xxx

my waters were broken at 1cm as well - it was incredibly painful (I was told I was making a fuss), and I ended up going immediately from walking around to flat on my back unable to move in agony . 12 hours later I was still 1cm, and had a section. I have no idea why they think its a good idea to break waters at 1cm. Mine was done by a very young junior doctor, I always assumed a more experienced midwife would never have done that, but your experience may suggest otherwise.

It was definitely nothing that you did!

I also think it's perfectly normal to go through your previous experience looking for understanding before going back to it again. I think it's good preparation.

Good on you for trying for a VBAC. I've no experience of this but it must take guts to face it again after an emergency cs. I always feel so sorry for the ones who go through almost all of normal labour and then have a cs as well. I really hope you get the birth you want this time.

not your fault at all. Agree if there was meconium they may have done c sec to ease distress.
With all 3 of mine I hvae had the urge to push from 4cms, not just the urge but completely unable to stop myself at all! Luckily the pressure must make me dialate quickly as I go from 4cms to giving birth within 20mins.

Good luck for your impending birth and hope you get your vbac.

good lord, of course it was not your fault !! at all ! please do not think that

sounds like you had not a lot of support ? urge to push can come before you are fully dilated, i am sure it can come before you are really dilated, in which case, teh midwife should have helped you change positions, breathe the pushing away, rather than giving you an epidural....IMHO....

if you try to push before you are fully dilated, or your body simply starts pushing for you , you can make the cervix swollen which can impede the descent of the baby

are you sure you were 1 cm dilated?

really glad you are thinking of a VBAC , would be a good idea to get a clear picture in your mind of how you want this birth to be ! never to late to start visualising

IMO< would be best to stay at home as long as you can, and cope with the pain, with baths, keeping active and moving...

might be that your first baby was OP, which can lead to an intense labour, but slow dilation, and being upright, active, and moving can help get baby in a better position to be born..

if the head is exerting equal pressure on the cervix, then dilation can be slow...

it was not your fault

if you feel supported and are able to listen to your body in labour , rather than being out of it, then you can take the cues from your body

not that i think you can only have a good birth without pain relief.. i had a VBAC with pethidine and gas and air, but midwife took g&a off me , as baby was OP and i was getting too relaxed, and needed to stand and move with the contractions....

try calling the birth crisis line ....get some one to one help before this baby comes!!

agree with lulu, couldnt add anymore.

not yur fault at all.

cx

Don't know if these will help at all but I wish I'd known about them before I had ny VBAC.

this
this
this
and Birth Without Active Pushing this

My body was pushing and when I begged Midwife to check my dilation (HUGE mistake!) she said I was 8/9 cms and not to push, that was the hardest thing ever to do! These links gave me a better understanding of what was happening and restored my faith in my body!

Thank you so much for all the encouraging & supportive replies. I have read all your links with fascination & wonder Doulaklaw, & it has nade me feel loads more confident.

And Lulumama - you always have words of wisdom. I was told i was 1cm so i can only go on what they told me. I am not the sort of person to want to discuss the birth on a one to one really although i suppose i should take your advise. All the support I'm getting here is what i feel i benefit from!!

I had a really cold hearted & i would even say incompetent midwife in charge a lot of the time. Basic nursing such as canula, drip & Bp monitoring etc she was shite at. Walked off with the catheter bag the next day & didn't return!!! Told me off when i was moaning in pain when epidural wasn't working .Her colleagues all looked at me pityfully when they saw she was "looking after" me. Useless. I'm terrified she'll be in charge of me this time. Can i tell her to FO if she is???

Big thanks to everyone else for their input too. Tracee it sounds like we went through very similar experiences. My waters broke natually however but the effects do sound the same.

I am going to do my utmost to listen to my own body this time & not the staff or any other f**cker for that matter!!! (except you mners

Have been having low period pain cramps for ever now but nothing is moving!! Nipples so sore from stimulation but to no avail lol

all those cramps are helping, anna, they are getting the cervix ripe and getting baby twiddled into the right position for birth..think nice , relaxed birthy thoughts

2 things you can do

get a doula (short notice, but oyu never know!) or a close female friend or relative to be one of your birth partners..so much research shows that continous emotionla support from another woman, in labour can really help you have a much more empowered and positive experience

and if you want to offload about the birth, you can do it by email, through the birth trauma associationwhich you might find easier than talking!

you will be fine!

also, if you do have the bad luck to get the same midwife, you are quite within your rights to ask for someone else.!

good luck x

If you have the energy consider contacting the hospital in advance and request a phonecall with the head midwife or your consultant, then you can explain your genuine fears to them of being under that midwife's care again - I should imagine they will want to avoid a belated official complaint about your experience. Hope it goes really well and you dont have too much longer to wait.

All good advise lulu & pookey. I'm seeing the consultant tomorrow so will be able to voice my fears.

Really wouldn't be able to afford a doula I'm afraid & i don't have anyone i would want at the birth. Mom died several years ago and she's who i'd want there.My dad is ill in hospital at the mo too. i want mil to have DS as that will be one less worry for me IYSWIM rather than be at the birth supporting me. DS is my main concern. Best mate is 250 miles away with little one herself & doesn't drive so couldn't come short notice. I like to do things on my own anyway but i know you are right a supportive female would be beneficial. I feel loads better just unloading all this on here.

There are many women out there who have had a much more traumatic birth experience than i have And i feel for them because i had flashbacks for months afterwards & I've only just been able to talk about it. It should be compulsory for midwives/counsellor(sp?) to talk to women about there birth afterwards sympathetically, not just weigh the baby & see if you have PND which most wouldn't admit to anyway!!! Moan over.

It really really has helped having all the input from MNers. Thank God you are here!!!

get it all off your chest ! i sobbed at all my consultant appointments !! if you are going to ormskirk hospital, i will doula you !

really glad you seem more positive, that is the best frame of mind to be in whilst waiting for baby x

AnnaSpanna, I'm so glad that you found the links useful.

And yes, you ARE allowed to refuse care from that witch. You can't request someone in particular but you are allowed to refuse! So tell them! Actually you should ask that mw who are confident in dealing with VBAC be found to deal with you when you go into labour.

My VBAC labour was with a nice mw but she was not VBAC interested enough and I am the statistical proof that CFM does not inprove outcome for baby but DOES increase risk of instrumental delivery or other interventions for mother. Best chance of VBAC is spontaneous labour with no augmentation, intermittant monitoring and plenty of support.

Email me at klaw AT macmail DOT com if you would like me to send a Word.doc of VITAL LINKS & TIPS to help research, even at this late stage, for your VBAC.

Looking forward to news!

Sorry this is a quick message.

Want to say thank you MNers who have addedto this thread especially Lulumama & Doulaklaw.

Had successful VBAC Monday at 4.10pm. Laboured all morning at home and arrived at hosp 3.00pm 8 cm dialated. Baby Ella Born natually with 3 pushes. 7 lb 2 Thoroughly recommend vbac to anyone contemplating.

The witch midwife from last time pushed me down to delivery but thank god i had an angel midwife who delivered me.

Truly dont think i could have done so well without Mners. Your wonderful and life changing.

Major tip you gave me was is focus & listen to your body not anyone else. I felt in control this time. I did push when my body said not the midwife & it worked.

delighted ! excellent news ..really pleased for you, sounds wonderful...glad it went so well

What wonderful news! I am so delighted!

Ella is a beautiful name, I unfortunately can not use it in future as I named my much cherished and sadly missed cat after Ella Fitzgerald. I would love to use if for a daughter because it is beautiful and my precious cat lived up to it superbly. It was very distressing to have to put her to sleep the day before my due date (scan). So whenever I hear of a new baby called Ella my heart fills with joy.

That probably all sounds wierd but it is meant with utmost sincerity.

Enjoy your babymoon, just remember that you're not really Superwoman and you must take it easy after your VBAC, protect that pelvic floor!

What a lovely day....

annaspanna do we have a db2 yet?

ok should have read further up the thread ha ha