I have searched for similar stories but can't find anything on mumsnet or elsewhere. I am 27wks with DC2. I don't want to start a surgical vs vaginal birth debate, and am looking for any similar circumstances. Particularly around the Hampshire area.
During my labour with dd I had to get out of the pool due to MW being unable to get a good reading on dds heartbeat. I was got pushing before fully dialated, then made to lay and wait in a lot of pain. I eventually had to have an episiotomy and ventouse after dd became stuck and distressed. I pushed so hard I burst blood vessels in both eyes and down my neck I couldn't look at myself or allow any pictures for a long time In addition dd and I were both so exhausted we struggled to start BF and I had to try and express colostrum. In my post birth haze I was so forceful I managed to bruise both breasts and was kept in for extra days by the midwives on their insistance dd would be labelled as failure to thrive at her 3 day check. She wasn't, and I then asked to be discharged whilst they told me I'd have to come back if I couldn't get her feeding better. Turns out she had severe tongue tie and the consultant I saw days later that snipped it said I'd done fantastic to feed at all.
I know this may all sound fairly normal for a first labour, but for me it was further complicated by the fact I had expressed my concerns about instrumental interventions and had consultant write in my notes I would not consent to forceps. I felt very dismissed by the consultant in to accepting other forms of intervention as a first time mum. I later found out at my birth reflections that they would have tried to turn dd with forceps should I not have had that in my notes.
I couldn't talk about the birth without feeling tearful and upset for about 12-18 months. I also struggled to have a sexual relationship with DH as I felt I didn't want anyone touching me.
We decided to try for DC2 just over a year ago. This resulted in 3 MCs. One at nearly 14wks (MMC) and two early ones around 5-6wks before falling pregnant this time. With the 14wk loss I had an ERPC and had a PPH in surgery which was borderline needing a transfusion. Again, I felt traumatised that I had no control.
I have had a lot of counselling after the miscarriages and feel that the best thing for me would be a section this time. It has not been an easy decision to come to and I have put a lot of pressure on myself to try and process another vaginal delivery in anticipation of consultant and midwives telling me that is the 'best' solution.
I know second deliveries are generally easier and my consultant has already offered to induce early, however I feel that induction is just another gamble and the certainty of knowing what and when would allow me to feel more comfortable. I understand a section is major surgery and will be no walk in the park.
So, really I guess I'm asking if my circumstances sound like I will have a big fight on my hands? I have heard my hospital (Basingstoke) do not do maternal request sections, so I am prepared to go to a different hospital if I must but would prefer to be somewhere I feel safe and comfortable. I am also ok jumping through a few hoops, but feel anxious about the amount of refusal I may face.
Sorry this is so long. I have read the NICE and RCOG guidelines and feel I will be able to express myself calmly. Any advice or views much appreciated.
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