So scared and confused at childbirth!

[MsHopey]

So scared. This is my first child, I am 30 weeks pregnant, and tbh I am absolutely petrified about childbirth. Me and DH have been together 8 years, he has wanted children all that time but it took quite a lot of courage for me to agree because of the dreaded birth. Everyone keeps saying it's not that bad, I'll get over it, people wouldn't have more kids if it was terrible. But nothing is making it any easier. I've tried speaking to my midwife (literally from the day she confirmed I was pregnant) but she just says "don't worry, it ages away yet". It doesn't feel that long away now. The idea of everything scares me, vaginal, C-section, epidural. My husband says I can do whatever I feel is best, and he thinks with the high anxiety I suffer an elective C-section would ease me. But I have no clue and I can't stop worrying.
Any help?

I think I'm going to have to mention it. I've been trying really hard to just try and "get over it" but it's not really something I can do. I've tried doing research in the hopes that it till ease my anxiety, but it's just made me realise just how much can actually go wrong. I have a few problems at the moment including a high BMI, an anterior placenta (some say it can cause a back pain birth as he's likely to face the wrong way as in back to back), possible SPD. All of which make me worry the birth is going to be more terrifying than I already suspected! And like I said, I have a super supportive and hands on husband who I know would be there for me and baby. It is mad that other people and possibly health care professionals are allowed to judge me, and I'm worried that even if I ask for a elcs I could still be told no. I don't know what I'd do if they won't even discuss my options.

You absolutely do need to do more than mention it. Discuss it seriously, push for it if it is what is right for you. And soon.

I was terrified before my first birth and it actually was way better than expected. Definitely talk to your MW.

Don't give any further thought to what extended family say. If you have an ELCS repeat 'it's the healthiest option for the baby and me' to any interfering busybodies.

Definitely ring your midwife and speak with her.

A few have mentioned hypnobirthing on here. I very loosely followed it, and also attended maternity yoga for my first and found it great (particularly the yoga - the breathing part.....I didn't use any stretches or anything).

A friend of mine would really feel unwell at the thought of childbirth/listening to others talking about it. For some it is a real phobia. Don't leave it any longer, give your midwife a call and explain fully your feelings/how anxious you are. If an elective cs is the righy decision for you, then don't let people try to influence you. Do what's right for you.

If your anxiety is so bad its dominating all your thoughts and stopping you sleeping your anxiety is a medical problem.

Your midwife has a obligation to take it seriously. If they phobe you off, push and say they are not taking your mental needs seriously.

This might involve talking about a C-section or some sort of additional mental health support to help you cope with a natural birth.

You have a right to the most appropriate care for your health needs.

Once YOU recognise your anxiety as a health issue during your pregnancy it becomes easier to get others to acknowledge anxiety is a health issue because you have that legitimacy of there being an issue behind you and you can use that as your own justification for how you approach getting that help.