scared of home birth?

[suilaruin]

this is my 3rd pregnancy and ive had the all ok to have a home birth or go to a birthing unit which is 15 mins away. the main hospital is nearly an hour away. I like the idea of home birth but I have read horror stories and it has made me scared of something going wrong! has anybody else felt like this??

Negligent and irresponsible are words that I would use to describe midwives pushing a reluctant mother who lives an hour from a hospital into an unwanted home birth by lying to her about the nature of obstetric emergencies and about hospital practices.

I didn't re-read the thread but I don't recall anyone using those terms to describe a pregnant woman? And of course, pregnant women can indeed make choices that are negligent and irresponsible, just like everyone else. An insulin-dependent 45-year old woman pregnant with breech mono-mono twins after a history of 3 c-sections can legally choose to ignore all advice and try for a home birth. That would be a negligent and irresponsible decision but no-one can prevent her. They can criticise her choice though.

The chorus of Internet folk promoting home birth bothers me hugely. They are shouting down people who try to give a realistic assessment of risks and insist that all will be well. The thing is, a lot of the time, all will indeed be well. Of course it will, else nobody would ever choose home birth. But "a lot of the time" isn't good enough for me and isn't good enough for my babies. Other women are free to decide that it is the right choice for them but that choice must be truly informed. To say otherwise is disgusting.

In hospital it may be the case that a consultant is 30mins away but the registrar will be seconds away to deal with emergencies.

sycamore you are doing everything that you are accusing others in favour of the home birth option for mothers of doing.

And 'a lot of the time' births have a happy and healthy outcome in hospital too but it's not 100%, surely then that wouldn't be good for you either?

No, less than 100% terrified me. Which is why I did everything in my power to reduce risk to my babies, including consultant-led care in a hospital with the best NICU in the country. My living room cannot compete.

Ah that's a shame, mine did.

Not everyone is terrified and for some it is a better option. To not open your mind and admit that others have different 'better choice' for themselves and their babies is unfair. No one is telling you you've done an awful thing by your babies so don't do it to others. No one puts their own or their child's life at deliberate risk. It's unkind to suggest we do.

I don't deny anyone choice. I have said that several times. What I object to is that choice being ill-informed and people being lied to. I have not said one thing that isn't true and I have not said one negative thing about posters on this thread who choose home birth.

And it is entirely possible that some people choose to put their lives or their children's lives at risk, in myriad ways all the time. Why would you not believe this happens? And why would you not be horrified at people inadvertently and unknowingly taking a risk because of false information?

But I don't understand your assumption that anyone having home birth must either be ill-informed or negligent?

I've personally seen babies die in hospital where they probably would have been fine at home. Giving birth is a natural process and unnecessary interventions can complicate this natural process, adding risk to mother and baby. I can go into detail about this experience but I would have to name change.

No one is talking about refusing help. No one is saying things can't go wrong. It's a personal choice. Personally, I feel much safer at home in the hands of competent midwives who are trained in childbirth, rather than in a hospital full of sick people being looked after by doctors trained in medicine. That's my belief, and my opinion. I respect other people would feel the opposite is better for them. If a midwife decided we needed hospital care, I would accept any help necessary.

It's my decision. I know the risks, I've decided there's no more risk to me or my baby than there is crossing the road. I've had two straightforward births, what good would suddenly being scared of childbirth be for me? I'm not stupid enough to think things can't go wrong, and I'm not naive enough to think they can't suddenly go wrong. These are all questions I have asked myself and decided home is still best for me.

No one has ever pushed homebirth on me, and I would never push homebirth on anyone else. I've read, educated myself, and spoken to healthcare professionals and I take that advice over other people who have dismissed it for themselves, often without the amount of research I have done.

And as for if the worst happens? Maybe it's just one of those horrible, tragic things, but that can happen anywhere, anytime and not just in labour and birth. Just being pregnant can be a risk.

OP, if you want a homebirth and you've had straightforward pregnancies, go for it. But if you're frightened in any way, give birth where you feel best. It's most important that you feel relaxed in your decision, it will help labour progress.

I had a home birth with my (first) DD. My mum and sister had both had two very straightforward births and I was quietly confident/hopeful I'd be the same. Labour ward is 15mins away. Read into risks and MWs were very helpful in outlining risks and problems.
MW team were very on board with it, did several visits to the house and came out as and when required.
Actually my labour went much more quickly than expected so MW nearly missed it but it was a smooth and positive experience with only TENS until the last 5 mins and so if I am lucky enough to get pg again I will do it again, all being well.

Lovely to give birth in your own surroundings, have a cuppa and your own food, shower, privacy, two/one to one care with uninterrupted attention. Definitely recommend if you have no problems and live near a hospital.

(Re cleanup we found the same - we put down shower curtains, don't use these they're fucking slippy old sheets and towels and MW had extra mats too. They all got bagged. I gave birth in living room and squatted over a bucket for placenta - lush. Apart from a spot of meconium on the carpet there's not a mark!
I had a good old look at my placenta and actually kept it to bury in the garden under a tree we planted for my DD. I sound like a proper hippie but I'm not!)

Op I think if you're scared about it then go for a birthing unit. You want this to be as calm and enjoyable as it can for you.

There are pros and cons to any types of births. But your feeling of safety is the one that needs to guide your decision. I have had both a hospital and a home birth. Your comfort is important and the desired end outcome is a happy you and baby.

You can have a great experience with a good midwife in either situation. Go for the one which gives you peace of mind.

"But I don't understand your assumption that anyone having home birth must either be ill-informed or negligent?"

Based on this thread, more than one poster has said they chose or are considering home birth because there is nothing that can't wait 30 minutes to get to the hospital. Other posters have also assured the OP that obstetric emergencies give plenty of advance notice, and that there is no difference in treatment time for a woman already admitted and present on a delivery suite, and a woman giving birth at home. That is simply not true and posters stating it as fact are ill-informed. I repeat that if people have reason to believe they are unlikely to experience complications and of the attractions of home birth to them outweigh these risks, good for them and may they choose as they wish. If however someone chooses home birth based on an ill-informed or misunderstood belief that there is zero difference in an emergency situation for an admitted patient and for someone like the OP in a private home an hour away with at most two midwives, then they are making a decision without all the facts. Nobody wants complications, nobody wants emergencies, everybody wants a healthy baby and a healthy mother and a birth experience that is memorable for all the right reasons. Unfortunately just wanting it is not always enough.

I never said any poster here was negligent. I do believe that a woman with risk factors who chooses home birth against medical advice is likely to be negligent. But why should my opinion matter to her; it is her choice. I also believe any healthcare professional who peddles nonsense like the above 30-minute thing is negligent.

Again, choose to give birth wherever you wish, but please do so based on realistic assessment of how things are, not how we might wish them to be.

I had a birthing centre birth and a home. Hands down the homebirth was the most amazing experience of my life. It's so calming and natural and makes sense. Women have been birthing at home for ever. In the grand scheme of thing it's only "recently" that birth started to become medical.

You get such better care at home. 2 midwives all to yourself. You don't get that in hospital.
It's incredible I can't recommend it enough. I was scared at the beginning as well, but the more I read about it the more I actually became scared of hospital births lol.

If you are on FB there are 2 really great groups. 1 is homebirth chat uk the other is homebirth uk. X

I have a homebirth planned in about 4 weeks and believe me if I feel I have the time to get to the hospital I will get in the car and go. The reality is I am likely to birth within an hour and have 2 children at home so would have to wait for their grandparent to arrive before being able to leave home and hospital is about 30 minutes away. Last time I felt like I was going to have to pull over and push her out at the side of the road.I think home is safer than that. I had nightmares and flashbacks for weeks after thinking what if we hadn't made it to hospital and all the scenarios. Home birth actually feels like the sensible choice for me even though I doubt the midwives will even get to me before the baby is out! And I had to have a manual removal of my placenta s im thinking I'll still probably have to go in anyway which seems a shame!

I think people need to judge a little less and realise there could be good reasons behind people's choices.

Sycamore - why do you think the evidence doesn't show poorer outcomes for the babies of low risk second time mothers who have chosen to labour at home, given the things you mention?

Also, the outcomes for the babies of low risk first time mums who labour in free standing birth centres appear to be just as good as for low risk first time mums who choose a CLU. Why do you think this is?

Also - why do you think low risk women who choose a CLU are more likely to end up needing high dependency care and/or a blood transfusion than similar women who choose to labour in out of hospital settings?

I agree with you that things like shoulder dystocia, cord prolapse etc can't always be predicted and may need immediate medical input. But somehow this doesn't seem to have had an impact on the outcomes for free standing birth centres or for second time mums birthing at home.

I suspect this is because 1. Most medical emergencies are adequately responded to by midwives and paramedics 2. That in the rare event that obstetric input is needed when there is not time to transfer, that the poor outcomes are 'offset' by those which arise specifically from women being in a hospital setting to give birth - i.e., more women needing forceps, emergency c/s and syntocinon augmentation in a hospital setting.

I have no problem with people discussing the risks that are specific to home birth by the way, as long as they acknowledge the risks that are specific to an obstetric setting for birth.

"Again, choose to give birth wherever you wish, but please do so based on realistic assessment of how things are, not how we might wish them to be."

You need to refer to the evidence in order to do this, and you haven't done that in your comments.

NICEplaceofbirth

I was to,d when pregnant with my first child that I could never be considered for a home birth because of recurrent uterine fibroids which might cause immediate serious post partum bleeding.
Because I didn't want one I never questioned it. However it was written across my records and I was categorically told that I must tell my midwife with any future pregnancy. With my second baby and now this third pregnancy I have had home births shoved down my throat, regardless. I have told all my midwives every time: that disconnect worries me.

I had a home birth with my first child last year.

The homebirth team were very aware that I was in labour, from 8pm on a Thursday night, but somehow did not arrive to assist with the birth or provide pain relief until 35 minutes after the baby was born at 9.30 the next morning, despite my DP being on the phone to them hourly for 12 hours. This is obviously a very rare situation to be in, but it's put me off doing it again if we decide to have another child.

I made a complaint, but got no real answers.

Had they turned up, I would probably have another homebirth as it was lovely to be in my own home, and I know 100% it would have been a great experience had I had the team there, but I have sadly lost faith in the whole home birthing process.