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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

Cant have intercourse following birth

11 replies

Tinasan · 12/03/2007 13:45

My DD is almost 20 weeks old, and we still haven't managed to resume our sex life - not for want of trying! I had quite a tough labour, involving an episiotomy and button hole tearing at the end - had to be stitched back up in theatre. Everything seems to have healed up ok but when we try to have penetrative intercourse, it won't go in (sorry if too graphic!)I would really like to get everything back to normal now but it feels like they've stitched me up too tight to be honest

Could anyone let me know if they have experienced anything similar? Should I go to the doctors or just keep trying? Thanks!

OP posts:

ScottishThistle · 12/03/2007 13:46

I assume you've tried lots of lubricant???

Original poster

Tinasan · 12/03/2007 14:11

Thanks ScottishThistle - yes we have. Is there anything else we can do?

OP posts:

pinkmagic1 · 12/03/2007 14:16

I would definitely go to the doctors. I had a very traumatic birth the first time round, with forceps and lots of stitches and everything was back to normal well before 20 weeks. Did the doctor mention anyting at your post natal check-up?

lulumama · 12/03/2007 14:16

you need NQC, the resident MN sex doctor!

quite normal to tense up consciously/ unconsciously when attempting penetrative sex, especially after a tough labour.....need to go really slow, relax and maybe have a drink or two first !

if you do think you were stitched badly, then that does need looking at, i presume all looked ok at your 6 week check? have you got contraception sorted, so that is not a worry...?

can you insert your own finger/s? have you tried tampax yet?

pooka · 12/03/2007 14:19

I had a post-natal check at 8 weeks after dd was born. My lovely GP winced a bit and said would be best to try and use lots of lubricant and maybe relaxant like a couple of glasses of wine. If that didn't make things easier she would refer me.

Basically, had been stitched up too tight, and did end up getting a referral to a consultant gynaecologist. Took about 3 months to get the appointment and he recommended that I be restiched. Warned that there'd be a 5 - 6 month wait. But due to a cancellation I had the op done when dd was about 8 months old (aybe 9?).

Afterwards no problem with penetration, and despite tearing when I had ds, no problems after his birth either.

The episiotomy was done with a local anaesthetic. I had (wrongly) been told I could not breastfeed if I had a general anaesthetic. It was not at all pleasant under a local, was done in theatre, stirrups, not very effective pain relief. But despite this it was worth it (although if I could go back to that time I would have a general).

I would recommend that you go back to your GP and talk about getting a referral to a consultant.

BigCookLittleCook · 12/03/2007 14:19

I feel like I was stitched up a bit too tight , but it has not caused such a severe problem, just a bit more effort involved!!! I would get someone to have a check, as if you leave it longer you and DH could get a bit peeved! Also you dont want to risk trying and trying and damaging yourself (or DH...). Good luck!

Original poster

Tinasan · 12/03/2007 14:45

Thanks everyone. My (useless and horrible) GP didn't check my stitches at my 6 week check, he just felt my tummy to check my uterus had gone down. I can get my finger in, and it feels as if there is a rim or cover around it that wasn't there pre-childbirth. Is this normal?

OP posts:

pooka · 12/03/2007 15:04

I cannot believe how many people don't seem to have a proper check up at the 8 week check. My lovely GP noticed immediately that something was up (dh and I hadn't got round to trying at that point).

It does seem to be more common than I'd thought - have other friends who have had same thing.

missmillie · 12/03/2007 15:17

It may be worth contacting the hospital antenatal clinic where you had the baby-although they can't treat you at this point, they may be able to give you some helpful advice. Make sure you metion your GP didn't check it out. When you call, ask to speak to a senior midwife for some advice. Alternatively, ask for a list of Supervisor of midwives at that hospital who should be able to point you in the right direction. It may be that you just have to go back to GP and insist on seeing a gynaecologist.
Good luck

lulumama · 12/03/2007 15:43

if it does not feel right and you are having problems with intercourse, think you should ask for another check with a different GP or a referral to a gynae...

SydneyB · 12/03/2007 15:53

Hi Tinasan - I had an episiotomy when my DD, now 3 months, was born. Stitches then dissolved without closing the wound and I just kept going back and back to my GP and insisted on being referred back to the consultant who was great. My prob has been that because of it healing oddly I have a lot of scar tissue which still feels tender and really puts me off sex. DH and I have done it twice and it just feels odd and I intend to go back to the consultant as apparently you can have uncomfortable scar tissue removed. INSIST on being referred would be my advice - after care in this area is, quite frankly, woeful. I keep having flashbacks to the mw wielding those wretched scissors and wishing I'd stopped her somehow!

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