Caesarean = Failure? Article in the Times...

[SweetyDarling]

Times article about feelings of failure after ceasarean birth
Interesting comments and countering article as well.

If I had my c-section all over again, I would like the importance of immediate skin to skin explaining to me (although mine wouldn't have been that immediate as the baby wasn't breathing when she came out). There was a very conscious policy decision, I've realised, when I was having mine, for me to be told nothing about what was going on while it was going on. A bunch of sweet and funny staff gathered around my head asking me and my husband a million questions about everything but babies. The screen was big and high, and I couldn't see or feel (obviously) what was going on. As the baby came out, my doctor invited my husband round to the other side of the screen to take a photograph of the head emerging. I am somewhat fascinated by this photo, but in some ways wish it didn't exist. So, the OPPOSITE of what a lot of people would specifically like is what I had - although it was all very calm and friendly and nice. I don't know if that was the wrong way to do it. I suppose you only know the experience you had and as I didn't know what to expect, but knew what was going on and in which order it would happen, I wasn't traumatised. But, as I say, and this may just be in Canada, policy is the exact opposite of the practice a lot of people here seem to wish for their own deliveries.

I think its also helpful to remember that every woman will experience childbirth differently, regardless of how it unfolds. Some women will feel traumatised by an unplanned c-section, some will take it in their stride, some will grit their teeth and cope with the pain, others will panic and be completely overwhelmed by it. We all react differently to every incident in our lives from stubbing our toe, to the person in the car in front cutting us off, and to child birth. I agree it would be wonderful if we all felt fully prepared for any eventually but we would still all experience it our own way, nomatter what we'd been told beforehand. Every reaction to every birth is valid and real for the women experiencing it and no one of us has any right to judge another mother on her own feelings about her own birth experience. The best we can do is listen, support and attempt to understand, even if we may not personally feel that way.
(just in my opinion anyway )

I can only wholeheartedly sympathise with any woman who is experiencing feelings of such tremendous sadness, guilt and loss after safely delivering a healthy baby by c-section.

I really can't empathise because those feelings do not feel to me like feelings I could ever imagine having. Indeed, I had a c-section and I didn't feel like that. After an incredibly traumatic 24 hours labouring and eventually giving birth all I felt was totally elated, relieved and so thankful for and incredibly proud of the amazing, perfect being I'd nurtured and grown inside me for 9 months.

I'm just being honest and sharing my experience, just as others here have done.

I truly hope that any woman going through such a dark time following their traumatic event can get access to the right kind of professional help they need to overcome their feelings and move forward in their lives, particularly when their feelings are having a detrimental or adverse affect on their relationships with their other children or partners.

It is really very disturbing and saddening to read of such cases and I wish all those affected much happier times ahead.

I haven't read all the posts here, but I had to add a thought...

squeeze says " get access to the right kind of professional help they need to overcome their feelings and move forward in their lives,"

So many of us don't.
I didn't have a CS, though it should have been. I should have had home support, I didn't.
I should have been referred to psychiatric counselling. I wasn't.
There isn't much support for post-birth problems

I had to push for every bit of help I got, and most of it came much later than it should have. I have no family nearby for support. A year after baby I am still in pain, both mentally and physically.

You can't tell me or anyone else that you know you would have coped better in their place. You don't know what they have experienced.

much more sypmathetic than your previous posts sqeezeddonna.....the way a woman feels after labour and birth, bad or good, are perfectly valid , whether they are understood by everyone or not.

Well done Squeeze. And welcome to the Chatterers.

I would have another C-section (and I am) but on my terms - i.e I am consious (sp) and Dh is with me.

Reading all these posts is very interesting, and I feel very sorry for the women who have been in tramua after a c-section (and natural birth).

At the moment if you ask people what is "best", natural birth versus C-section - then it's always natural birth. But that assumes natural birth is going to consist of four or so hours in hospital, it's gonna hurt, slight tear or two then you are OK.

However, there are LOTS of people who have much worse experiences. We lump "natural" births into this huge group of experiences, some great some horrific.

I want a natural birth. But if that's going to entail two days of labour in agony, then I'll go for the c-section please!

But how can you tell what is going to happen?

the precious, I agree.

My obstetrician told me that of 100 women aiming for a normal, reasonably natural birth, 50 would get through well and intact and of the remaining 50, half would have serious intervention and resulting tears etc and the other half would have an emergency cs. So half of those aiming for a natural birth end up with roughly what they hoped for. The other half don't.

He also told me that the best birth outcomes in terms of safety were, in order:

• vaginal birth without intervention
• elective caesarean ( done by consultant in planned manner without baby in distress)
• vaginal birth with intervention
• emergency cs (because might not be done by experienced consultant, depending on circs and timing, and baby might already be in distress)

I thought it was interesting

you cant tell how things are going to go until your in labour really.

i was at a fab homebirth on sunday, where it looked for a sec the head could be stuck, so would have meant a tfr into hosp, luckily a change of position altered this.

cx